Usually I'm pretty good at recognizing the things that set my depression off, but this time I seem to have missed the signs completely and now I just want to curl into a ball and cry.
Dh is gone until next month sometime for work, his cell phone is completely shut off bc of his work as well so I have no idea when I'll next get to talk to him. Mother's Day is coming up and I was planning on spending it w/ my kids and trying to keep my mind off the fact that it will be year 2 since my own mother's death. My Nana called the other day and must have reminded me 20 times of this fact until I wanted to scream. I have a hard time discussing my mother without having a complete breakdown.
Also on the 19th is dh's & my 5 year wedding anniversary. We were going to renew our vows since we're in Hawaii and we didn't get to have a big fancy wedding, just a quick justice-of-the-peace thing but bc of family financial crisis we're tapped for funds and he's not home. I know we can always renew our vows later after he gets home but we really wanted to do it on our anniversary since we've never gotten to do anything special yet.
Seems like every day since dh left something else goes wrong, no matter how good the day started off it ends badly. I'm really starting to hate May!