Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

So stressed and depressed

Posted by on Jul. 14, 2014 at 6:43 PM
  • 18 Replies
I am really stressed about tomorrow. My dh has a work meeting thing that is mandatory, it is supposed to be like 6-8 hours at a hotel and I am worried and stressed. Last time they had this kind of meeting, he went out drinking at a bar after, and he didn't answer my phone calls or text messages or anything. He didn't come home til 4am. And I think he cheated on me because he didn't answer his phone and when he gets drunk he starts dancing and flirting with other girls. I don't want him going tomorrow but there is nothing I can do. I am so stressed about it that I can't eat and I just want to end it all so I don't have to worry about it anymore :(
by on Jul. 14, 2014 at 6:43 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Seashell77
by Bronze Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 7:31 PM

Can you let your dh know you don't want him staying out so late and want him home after work ? Let him know it bothers you and how it hurts you, without being accussing (cause you don't know if he cheated). Sorry you are going through this......it's a really tough situation. hugs

PS: Just read your post again. About the last part you wrote, that worries me. Do you have a counselor you can talk to concerning that ? You need support. Nothing is worth ending your life. Please get some help, for your own sake and your kiddos. More big hugs from me.

Tazzgirl21
by Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 7:37 PM
Quoting Seashell77:

Can you let your dh know you don't want him staying out so late and want him home after work ? Let him know it bothers you and how it hurts you, without being accussing (cause you don't know if he cheated). Sorry you are going through this......it's a really tough situation. hugs

I have told him to be home right after the meeting, and I have told him that I hate that he has to go. I have told him how I feel, but there is nothing he can do, because it is mandatory. And you are right, I have no prove if he cheated or not. But if he starts drinking then he won't stop until it is too late, so I am really worried and stressed about it. Thanks.
Tazzgirl21
by Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 7:39 PM
Quoting Seashell77:

Can you let your dh know you don't want him staying out so late and want him home after work ? Let him know it bothers you and how it hurts you, without being accussing (cause you don't know if he cheated). Sorry you are going through this......it's a really tough situation. hugs

PS: Just read your post again. About the last part you wrote, that worries me. Do you have a counselor you can talk to concerning that ? You need support. Nothing is worth ending your life. Please get some help, for your own sake and your kiddos. More big hugs from me.

I have no one to talk to, can't afford a counselor. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about the last part. Thanks again.
Seashell77
by Bronze Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 7:49 PM


Quoting Tazzgirl21:
Quoting Seashell77:

Can you let your dh know you don't want him staying out so late and want him home after work ? Let him know it bothers you and how it hurts you, without being accussing (cause you don't know if he cheated). Sorry you are going through this......it's a really tough situation. hugs

PS: Just read your post again. About the last part you wrote, that worries me. Do you have a counselor you can talk to concerning that ? You need support. Nothing is worth ending your life. Please get some help, for your own sake and your kiddos. More big hugs from me.

I have no one to talk to, can't afford a counselor. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about the last part. Thanks again.

You took a good first step by talking about it here. It's essential that you deal with these feelings, so you can get the help you need and deserve. There's a good post "where to get help" that will give you lots of ways to get help.

Seashell77
by Bronze Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 7:51 PM


Quoting Tazzgirl21:
Quoting Seashell77:

Can you let your dh know you don't want him staying out so late and want him home after work ? Let him know it bothers you and how it hurts you, without being accussing (cause you don't know if he cheated). Sorry you are going through this......it's a really tough situation. hugs

I have told him to be home right after the meeting, and I have told him that I hate that he has to go. I have told him how I feel, but there is nothing he can do, because it is mandatory. And you are right, I have no prove if he cheated or not. But if he starts drinking then he won't stop until it is too late, so I am really worried and stressed about it. Thanks.

Does your dh have health benefits that would cover couples counseling ? 

Bahamamama536
by on Jul. 14, 2014 at 8:02 PM
1 mom liked this

I do understand where you are coming from about being worried he would do something he shouldn't.  However, he really needs to ensure that you are secure emotionally especially considering that he might act uncharacteristically when he works.  I think that's needed! I also think, and this is something that I had to do for me...no one else. You cannot rely so heavily on one individual so much to the point that if he/she disappoints you, you won't know what to do! I think that's too much power given to anyone! I am married, and love my husband, but my emotional support does not solely come from him because if he fails I have no other refuge or resort.  What I am saying is, you need to somehow find that inner strength for you, no one can give you your worth, or sense of wellness...only you can!  Hopefully, he behaves himself...and you find the fortitude to live a life where are not fully dependent on anyone to live it for you....I hope you understand...and I hope this helps.

bambismom
by Silver Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 9:27 PM
1 mom liked this

I am sorry mama that you are so stressed.  I hope he didn't really cheat on you before and that he listens to you and comes home right after the meeting.  hugs

Tazzgirl21
by Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 9:29 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting Seashell77:

Quoting Tazzgirl21:
Quoting Seashell77:

Can you let your dh know you don't want him staying out so late and want him home after work ? Let him know it bothers you and how it hurts you, without being accussing (cause you don't know if he cheated). Sorry you are going through this......it's a really tough situation. hugs

I have told him to be home right after the meeting, and I have told him that I hate that he has to go. I have told him how I feel, but there is nothing he can do, because it is mandatory. And you are right, I have no prove if he cheated or not. But if he starts drinking then he won't stop until it is too late, so I am really worried and stressed about it. Thanks.

Does your dh have health benefits that would cover couples counseling ? 

Yes he does, but it doesn't cover all of it, so we wouldn't be able to afford the rest of it. And my dh would never go to couples counseling, he is a very private person.
Tazzgirl21
by Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 9:42 PM
Quoting Bahamamama536:

I do understand where you are coming from about being worried he would do something he shouldn't.  However, he really needs to ensure that you are secure emotionally especially considering that he might act uncharacteristically when he works.  I think that's needed! I also think, and this is something that I had to do for me...no one else. You cannot rely so heavily on one individual so much to the point that if he/she disappoints you, you won't know what to do! I think that's too much power given to anyone! I am married, and love my husband, but my emotional support does not solely come from him because if he fails I have no other refuge or resort.  What I am saying is, you need to somehow find that inner strength for you, no one can give you your worth, or sense of wellness...only you can!  Hopefully, he behaves himself...and you find the fortitude to live a life where are not fully dependent on anyone to live it for you....I hope you understand...and I hope this helps.

It does help, and thanks.
Tazzgirl21
by Member on Jul. 14, 2014 at 9:45 PM
Quoting bambismom:

I am sorry mama that you are so stressed.  I hope he didn't really cheat on you before and that he listens to you and comes home right after the meeting.  hugs

It's okay, and thanks. I hope he does also. I hate stressing over it.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)