I grew up in a chaotic household. My mother wasn't maternal and my dad and I didnt have a great relationship till years later. I rushed and married my husband ma y years ago. I never experienced the single life milestones such as dating and living on my own. Ive always mentally checked out and compared my life to others and felt a hatred of myself. Many years ago I found out my husband cheated on me with someone I knew. For years he has been a great husband provider and there for me when I sink into my modes of depression. My kids think im mean because im tired from lack of sleep due to working odd shifts. I sometimes think my family will be better without me. I feel like a failure. Sometimes I can. Be difficult to live with. Im disorganized messy late and I HATE me as a person and it kills me that I can't be the mom and wife they want me to be. My husband feels lime ive mentally checked out of the marriage. He is a good man and I think my bitterness will cause him pain. Im a bitter person. I am genuinely a nice person. Im at a loss for words.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 18, 2014 at 9:20 AM