More and more each day I find the things that give me the greatest joy usually give me the most sorrow. I love my son so much and he just feels my heart with so much joy. When I feel like I'm failing him as a mother it just makes me so depressed and breaks my heart. I've learned the same with singing. I love singing and it's been a passion for me and the best feeling when I'm singing in front of people. I've been rejected twice within two weeks for my singing. I can't take the heartbreak anymore. I'm never performing again, no karaoke, maybe not even in the car. I just hate that things have to be so extreme emotionally for me. I just wish I didn't wish I could sing and perform 'cause obviously I'm not supposed to. At least my son's love outweighs the heartache I feel when I don't feel worthy of it. Sorry just needed to vent and get some stuff off my chest so I can stop crying over something so stupid as singing.