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Can somebody tell me how I should deal with this???

Posted by on Sep. 1, 2014 at 12:14 AM
  • 26 Replies

So, my son's ex was spending time with this guy on the weekends when his daughter was with him.  Fine.  Now she thinks it is O.K. to bring this guy that she barely knows around her daughter, and he's spending the night!!!  Everybody that my son talks to says this is wrong that there's no way she should be bringing this guy around the little girl yet, let alone spending the night.  I wish I could say I trust her, but I don't.  How does she go from such an overprotective mother to this???  Since my hubby worked today, he is sleeping.  I took a shower and just cried.  I took many deep breathes, and I still am.  How in the hell do I, and my son, deal with this bitch just bringing any Tom, Dick or Harry around my grandchild???  I'm just so pissed I just want to ask her what the hell she thinks she's doing.  I don't know if I have it in me to deal with this for the next 17 or whatever years.  I know I have to talk about it at my next counseling appointment, but I'm just so pissed right now.  I cannot believe how much money this woman has cost my son and us.  The legal fees plus counseling.  She's just going on her merry way still thinking she didn't do anything wrong and it's all my son's fault.  I can't frickin do this, I don't think I can! 

by on Sep. 1, 2014 at 12:14 AM
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Replies (1-10):
CodJesKai
by Member on Sep. 1, 2014 at 12:26 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm so sorry... (*Hugs*)
luvmia
by Silver Member on Sep. 1, 2014 at 12:45 AM

Do you think that she would be willing to go to counseling with you all? I think a neutral party can be the go-between for this problem. If you don't think this is a good idea, you can always discuss with your son about getting full custody of his kid.

Hugs. I hope everything works out for the best.

bambismom
by Silver Member on Sep. 1, 2014 at 12:56 AM

 I don't think she would lose custody over this.  It's all really personal preference, I doubt there are any real rules here.  Perhaps it should have been in the divorce decree but how do you really prove how long you've known somebody?  Are you thinking of a mediator?  An actual counselor would never fly, as she has not and never will admit any wrong doing.  The only way she would lose custody would be if the guy does something wrong to the child.  Then it's too late.  Thanks for listening. 

Quoting luvmia:

Do you think that she would be willing to go to counseling with you all? I think a neutral party can be the go-between for this problem. If you don't think this is a good idea, you can always discuss with your son about getting full custody of his kid.

Hugs. I hope everything works out for the best.

 

lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Sep. 1, 2014 at 5:11 AM

 I'm so sorry. It is so wrong in so many ways but I don't think there is much you can do unless your son wants to go for full custody.

bambismom
by Silver Member on Sep. 1, 2014 at 9:32 AM

 I don't think there is any point in trying to go for full custody based on this unless there is proof that this guy may harm the child.   My son doesn't really have a leg to stand on at this point.  In the eyes of the law she's done nothing wrong. 

I find myself not even wanting to be a grandmother.   I love my grandbaby with all of my heart, but I don't know if my heart can take this.  I know it's terrible, it makes me feel guilty.  But, this isn't how it's supposed to be.  I would trade being a grandmother for my son's happiness. 

Quoting lyrick24:

 I'm so sorry. It is so wrong in so many ways but I don't think there is much you can do unless your son wants to go for full custody.

 

Memere60
by Silver Member on Sep. 1, 2014 at 9:43 AM

.....Then it's too late.... That makes me want to cry. What is this woman thinking? 

Quoting bambismom:

 I don't think she would lose custody over this.  It's all really personal preference, I doubt there are any real rules here.  Perhaps it should have been in the divorce decree but how do you really prove how long you've known somebody?  Are you thinking of a mediator?  An actual counselor would never fly, as she has not and never will admit any wrong doing.  The only way she would lose custody would be if the guy does something wrong to the child.  Then it's too late.  Thanks for listening. 

Quoting luvmia:

Do you think that she would be willing to go to counseling with you all? I think a neutral party can be the go-between for this problem. If you don't think this is a good idea, you can always discuss with your son about getting full custody of his kid.

Hugs. I hope everything works out for the best.



bambismom
by Silver Member on Sep. 1, 2014 at 9:47 AM

 I don't know.   We can only hope and pray she's not that stupid.  You don't know how many times I have wished my son would have broke this off years ago.  He tried to get her to leave and she wouldn't go!  Then she wants out after they're married and have a baby!    UGHHHHH! 

Quoting Memere60:

.....Then it's too late.... That makes me want to cry. What is this woman thinking? 

Quoting bambismom:

 I don't think she would lose custody over this.  It's all really personal preference, I doubt there are any real rules here.  Perhaps it should have been in the divorce decree but how do you really prove how long you've known somebody?  Are you thinking of a mediator?  An actual counselor would never fly, as she has not and never will admit any wrong doing.  The only way she would lose custody would be if the guy does something wrong to the child.  Then it's too late.  Thanks for listening. 

Quoting luvmia:

Do you think that she would be willing to go to counseling with you all? I think a neutral party can be the go-between for this problem. If you don't think this is a good idea, you can always discuss with your son about getting full custody of his kid.

Hugs. I hope everything works out for the best.

 

 

 

lucy164
by Peggy on Sep. 1, 2014 at 10:57 AM

I don't know what to tell you but I send you hugs.

bambismom
by Silver Member on Sep. 1, 2014 at 11:25 AM

crying 

Thanks, Lucy. SIGH......

Quoting lucy164:

I don't know what to tell you but I send you hugs.

 

matreshka
by Ruby Member on Sep. 1, 2014 at 3:52 PM
You will never be able to control what she does. When my ex got a new gf and had her around my son I was extremely upset. But I got to know her and she's a good person. Maybe this guy is a good influence.
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