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Everything is O.K. with me and dh (re: e-mails from another woman)

Posted by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 12:24 PM
  • 13 Replies

O.K., this is hard to explain because it is complicated.  This woman used to work with my husband and they were friends for over 20 years.  Whenever they had a problem at work, they went to each other.  They talked a lot about other things too, but it wasn't about me.  He promises me that I never did anything wrong and that in their conversations he never complained about me or our marriage.   When she got a job with another company, they both felt a void and they were trying to figure out what it meant.  They could have let it go a different way, but they chose their spouses and their families over each other.  I know this may be difficult for you ladies to understand, but I have pretty much already forgiven him.  There are some things that were said that I still struggle with, but I understand how and why it happened.  He says he will go to counseling with me or whatever it takes to help me deal with this.  Now I am crying happy tears because I still have him, the love of my life.  I can still be proud of our 30 plus years of marriage.   I am so glad I talked to him about it instead of going on thinking the worst and having it eat me up inside.   Not that I'm glad it happened, but I think it brought us closer.   Now I can get back to keeping up on cafemom, helping others with their problems,  not just talking about mine.  I have had a busy couple of weeks though, our granddaughter was here a lot!   I had so much fun with her but vacation?  What vacation?  It was back to work for me yesterday!   Thanks everybody for being here for me, once again.  simple smile

by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 12:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Serenity7
by Silver Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 1:16 PM
1 mom liked this

 Good that things are working out in your marriage

 photo linda_zps3b246bbf.jpg 

SpiritFortress
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 1:46 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm glad the two of you were able to work through this with good communication. I'm happy to hear your marriage stayed intact. ((hugs))

gonecrazi
by Silver Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 1:48 PM
1 mom liked this

 Glad things worked out...

lyrick24
by Group Admin on Jan. 6, 2015 at 2:11 PM

 im so glad you two worked things out. so many people in marriages would not have made the effort to keep their family together. i admire your husband for that.

bambismom
by Gold Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 2:17 PM

 Yes, I admire him too.  I'm so happy he chose me instead of her.  Like he explained, if he would have pursued it with her,  it wouldn't have been lasting, and it would have destroyed two families.   I was so scared I had been doing something wrong, but I wasn't.  He is happy with our life, and so am I.  We have been through hell in the last year, but we still have each other.  

Quoting lyrick24:

 im so glad you two worked things out. so many people in marriages would not have made the effort to keep their family together. i admire your husband for that.

 

lucy164
by Peggy on Jan. 6, 2015 at 2:26 PM
1 mom liked this

This is good news.  Bottom line is he loves you and will not leave you.simple smile

DisabledVet
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 6:09 PM

What was there to forgive? he was friends with a woman but that's all it was.

My husband and I both have close friends of the opposite sex. It doesn't mean it has to hurt what we feel for each other or our marriage.

bambismom
by Gold Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 6:52 PM

 You need to read  my previous posts (found e-mails from another woman and seriously need a friend )  They said they loved each other and wanted to be together, she said she was IN LOVE with him.  Does this sound like friends to you?  Wouldn't you be worried??   Don't judge unless you understand the whole story.  These e-mails were very intimate.  They really wanted to be together, but chose their families instead.  It sounded from the e-mails that it was over but I needed to know for sure.  Do you and your dh tell your friends of the opposite sex that you are in love with them?   Or they to you?   Doubt that.  This was different. 

Quoting DisabledVet:

What was there to forgive? he was friends with a woman but that's all it was.

My husband and I both have close friends of the opposite sex. It doesn't mean it has to hurt what we feel for each other or our marriage.

 

happyolechimp
by Silver Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 9:36 PM
I'm glad...:-)
luvmia
by Silver Member on Jan. 7, 2015 at 1:54 AM
1 mom liked this
I am sincerely that things worked out.for the best between you two. And there is nothing wrong.with focusing on your problems. It is important to still put in consideration for your own feelings and affairs. After all you cant be of any good to anyone else if you aren't ok..
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