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The damage is done.

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2015 at 7:49 PM
  • 8 Replies
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I dont know how I will be able to trust another man again due to the domestic violence I suffered by the.hands of my.2 exes. I would like to have kids but dont want to risk having them used against me which abusive and/or controlling men like to do. I feel damaged.beyond repair. Does anyone here know what I am dealing with? If so, how did you get up the courage to meet someone knew?
by on Jan. 31, 2015 at 7:49 PM
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Replies (1-8):
PogoPalOj
by on Jan. 31, 2015 at 7:53 PM

 Hey I hear ya.  Been there done that.  Give me a PM if you would like.  There is also a website.  http://www.dailystrength.org/

Learning to trust again is hard.  It will take time and you need to be very careful.  Any man you think about dating, ask yourself, 'Is this a guy I'd like around my kids?'.

lucy164
by Peggy on Feb. 1, 2015 at 4:22 PM

I went back to school for computer programming and there I met my husband who is not abusive.

happyolechimp
by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2015 at 9:19 PM
1 mom liked this
the people who were supposed to love us...beat us..manipulated...diabolical schemes..invented lies.took our sons..turned all on us..ruined a joyous happy soul...the damage is done..and...
what good is truth...when there's no justice
mrsary
by Member on Feb. 1, 2015 at 9:27 PM
2 moms liked this
Divorced 5 years and still uneasy about men.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Feb. 1, 2015 at 11:35 PM

Sorry hun. I haven't been there with children. I had a few abusive boyfriends in the past but didn't have kids with them. All I can tell you is if you find another boyfriend take your time to really get to know him before having children.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 2, 2015 at 5:08 AM
2 moms liked this

After my last marriage broke up, I went into counseling to figure out why I married such losers and jerks. Three of my husbands were abusive. The counseling helped me figure out why I dated the men I did and helped me break the pattern. I'm now married (almost 20 years) to a wonderful man who would never harm me (physically or psychologically). Don't look for someone new until you go through enough counseling so you can meet a nice man. At the end of my counseling (2+ years) I felt well enough to live by myself instead of jumping into another bad relationship. I dated my present husband for 2 years before we got married. We had known each other for about 8 years before we dated.

Please do not look for anyone until you've done the counseling you need.

matreshka
by on Feb. 2, 2015 at 6:54 AM
1 mom liked this

I really have no idea.  i wonder about this myself because I dont want to be alone.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 3, 2015 at 7:45 AM
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Read about personality types.

There were signs early in both of your relationships. That you either did not see at the tiem. Or refused to see them.

Write a list of those early signs in both men. Small incidents.

Take your time. There is no big hurry to find someone. When you are not looking you will find someone.

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