The damage is done.

[luvmia]

I dont know how I will be able to trust another man again due to the domestic violence I suffered by the.hands of my.2 exes. I would like to have kids but dont want to risk having them used against me which abusive and/or controlling men like to do. I feel damaged.beyond repair. Does anyone here know what I am dealing with? If so, how did you get up the courage to meet someone knew?

[PogoPalOj]

 Hey I hear ya.  Been there done that.  Give me a PM if you would like.  There is also a website.  http://www.dailystrength.org/

Learning to trust again is hard.  It will take time and you need to be very careful.  Any man you think about dating, ask yourself, 'Is this a guy I'd like around my kids?'.

[lucy164]

I went back to school for computer programming and there I met my husband who is not abusive.

[happyolechimp]

the people who were supposed to love us...beat us..manipulated...diabolical schemes..invented lies.took our sons..turned all on us..ruined a joyous happy soul...the damage is done..and...
what good is truth...when there's no justice

[mrsary]

Divorced 5 years and still uneasy about men.

[Anonymous 1]

Sorry hun. I haven't been there with children. I had a few abusive boyfriends in the past but didn't have kids with them. All I can tell you is if you find another boyfriend take your time to really get to know him before having children.

[Anonymous 2]

After my last marriage broke up, I went into counseling to figure out why I married such losers and jerks. Three of my husbands were abusive. The counseling helped me figure out why I dated the men I did and helped me break the pattern. I'm now married (almost 20 years) to a wonderful man who would never harm me (physically or psychologically). Don't look for someone new until you go through enough counseling so you can meet a nice man. At the end of my counseling (2+ years) I felt well enough to live by myself instead of jumping into another bad relationship. I dated my present husband for 2 years before we got married. We had known each other for about 8 years before we dated.

Please do not look for anyone until you've done the counseling you need.

[matreshka]

I really have no idea.  i wonder about this myself because I dont want to be alone.

[Anonymous 3]

Read about personality types.

There were signs early in both of your relationships. That you either did not see at the tiem. Or refused to see them.

Write a list of those early signs in both men. Small incidents.

Take your time. There is no big hurry to find someone. When you are not looking you will find someone.