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I left my SO today :(

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies
So we've been together 5 years, we built a home together & have a 1 year old. He struggled with substance abuse (prescription pills) he got help & got clean while I was pregnant because he knew I would raise our son alone. His father passed & I didn't know but he relapsed, lost his job, and blew lots of money. He went to detox & went away in hopes we would stay. I gave him another chance since he's the father of my child & I do love him and would like a family for my child & want to see him do well. He's still unemployed, lazy, said he's depressed. Tried talking him thorough it & telling him to go day by day to better himself & take steps to get a job & be more productive, that'd he would start feeling better about himself & situation.
today he slept till 1, I send him a message just saying I wish you would not lay in bed all day, because I didn't want to wake him up & anger him. We ended up getting into an argument where he broke things, screamed, and yelled. It scared me, I started packing necessities for our son & myself. He got mad we were leaving, then said he was done with us & he'd bag all my stuff up & to leave now it would be in the yard for me not to message him or anything. I've told my grandmother our heat isn't working so we'd be staying a day or two. I'm so sad but trying to be strong. I don't know what to think/feel. ..
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 27, 2015 at 9:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lyrick24
by Group Admin on Feb. 28, 2015 at 6:33 AM

 if he was breaking things around you and the baby it was best that you left. he doesnt sound like hes very stable. if he is on drugs, you need to leave him for good. do you have somewhere to stay until you can get housing?

matreshka
by on Feb. 28, 2015 at 7:55 AM

you need to get away form this guy he is an addict and is manipulating you.  its okay tha tyou love him and have feelings for him, of course you do, but its does not change the fact he loves pills more than you or his son.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 28, 2015 at 8:00 AM
My mother knows the situation, she's made room for us at her house. Gonna stay at my grandmother's probably one more night to keep my mind off everything & then Sunday going to get us settled in at my moms.
Minimonsters
by Bronze Member on Feb. 28, 2015 at 8:03 AM
It sounds like a good move Hun. It must be so hard but you need to do what's right for you and your son big hugsxx
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 28, 2015 at 8:05 AM
I know, you're right. I keep having to remind myself of that before my feelings blind me to everything. He even tried turning it around on me of course. I hope he feels sick to how rude & mean he has been. I know my son & I don't deserve it.

Quoting matreshka:

you need to get away form this guy he is an addict and is manipulating you.  its okay tha tyou love him and have feelings for him, of course you do, but its does not change the fact he loves pills more than you or his son.

Serenity7
by Silver Member on Feb. 28, 2015 at 8:20 AM

 (((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))

lucy164
by Peggy on Feb. 28, 2015 at 8:29 AM

Congratulations for leaving him  You can't live with some one like that nor bring your child up in that kind of evironment.

rosiemendo
by Bronze Member on Feb. 28, 2015 at 8:48 AM

You feel how you feel....you can't control how you feel.  You have this right.  However, I believe in the "3 strikes you're out" rule.  He's had his 3 strikes.  You did the right thing by leaving.  You need to protect yourself and, more importantly, your son.  I grew up a victim of alcoholism and violence.  I lived for the day when I turned eighteen and could leave.  When my father (years later) decided to mend his ways, he died of a massive heart attack.  However, the damage he did could never be taken away or cured.  I had only 1 sibling.  My brother died because of terribly wrong choices and I had a nervous breakdown.  Think about your son.  Focus your love on him.  It isn't going to be easy, but get support and help.  Good luck!

                        praying

Memere60
by Silver Member on Feb. 28, 2015 at 8:52 AM

That's a VERY good plan. PLEASE don't go back to him, no matter how much he begs and pleads (and I'm afraid he will once he realizes how life is without you). 


Quoting Anonymous 1: My mother knows the situation, she's made room for us at her house. Gonna stay at my grandmother's probably one more night to keep my mind off everything & then Sunday going to get us settled in at my moms.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 28, 2015 at 9:44 AM
I know I'm gonna try so hard. I know deep in my heart I want to go back. But I know that's not what's best. It's only a matter of time before things are toxic again, and better to stay away while my son is still young.

Quoting Memere60:

That's a VERY good plan. PLEASE don't go back to him, no matter how much he begs and pleads (and I'm afraid he will once he realizes how life is without you). 

Quoting Anonymous 1: My mother knows the situation, she's made room for us at her house. Gonna stay at my grandmother's probably one more night to keep my mind off everything & then Sunday going to get us settled in at my moms.

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