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I used.to wonder.....

Posted by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 11:08 PM
  • 8 Replies
why one day an individual (especially a relative) would talk to me and the next time I see him or her, he or she would.refuse to speak to me when speak to them. Then after I.stopped caring about it, he or she.would.come.over to me to ask me for help with something or.try to talk to me again as if he or she wasnt ignoring me previously. Then I.realized that it is a form of manipulation and power. People, especially those whom are sociopaths, realize this is a surefire way to get under someone's skin, to keep them wondering if it is.something they said or did to.cause this and to keep the.one they.are ignoring off balance. It is.a manipulative.tactic.that is implemented.to.play mind games.(I.e. psychological.warfare).
by on Mar. 15, 2015 at 11:08 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Minimonsters
by Bronze Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 6:03 AM
That is very manipulative, however some days I'm happy and chatty with people and other days I'll avoid talking to them at all costs or I'm very stand offish so they'll go away. That's my depression creeping in and I fight it cos I know it hurts other people as well but I know there have been times when I've been really out of order it makes me sad that I'd hurt people and I find it hard to apologise but I'm getting better at it the more I fight my illness.
captainjack
by Silver Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 6:52 AM

They are controlling and manipulative take them as they are or stay away if they hurt you or you can not handle the mind games.

luvmia
by Silver Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 7:41 AM
2 moms liked this
This.I.already know. Therefore, I choose me and my mental.health over them.first, foremost and always.

Quoting captainjack:

They are controlling and manipulative take them as they are or stay away if they hurt you or you can not handle the mind games.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 16, 2015 at 10:28 AM

These are the sort of people you need to cut out of your life and stop giving them power over you.  If you have nothing to do with them, ever, meaning, don't answer the phone,  or door,  or go anywhere they will be or run into them,  and refuse to discuss them with anyone else, they will no longer be able to affect you. 

Just because someone is your family, doesn't mean you have to allow them in your life.  I know in my personal experience, I will have nothing to do with my brother because he is crazy and dangerous.  My mother chooses to support him because she feels sorry for him because he has no one.  I would invite her to my family events and she would have the nerve to bring him knowing very well that he's not welcome.  I finally told her that if she does it again, I will no longer invite her either.  I actually warned her not to do it or she won't be attending any more holidays, birthdays, or special events.  I also miss extended family events because my mother thinks all family invitations to her, include him. (Its annoying to my extended family too)  Would I like to attend and see my relatives?  Sure.  My mother is sneaky and will actually avoid the subject so I have to ask her outright if he will or will not be at family events.  She thinks I'm the bad person for not putting up with his BS because "he can't help it he's this way".   Too bad.  I've had him show up and he just can't rush up to me fast enough to be an idiot.  I go to events ready to leave on a moments notice just in case he does show up.  Yes, it sucks, but such is life.

lucy164
by Peggy on Mar. 16, 2015 at 10:44 AM

I completely cut my mother out of my life because she played the same mind games that those people are playing with you.  They obviously don't have your best interest in mind.

catching_dreams
by on Mar. 16, 2015 at 3:58 PM
That is being manipulated. I'm sorry.
luvmia
by Silver Member on Mar. 16, 2015 at 5:08 PM
Well.actually I.dont deal.with these kind.of.people.anymore. And just like.your mother and brother, mine are toxic.too. It is.what it is.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

These are the sort of people you need to cut out of your life and stop giving them power over you.  If you have nothing to do with them, ever, meaning, don't answer the phone,  or door,  or go anywhere they will be or run into them,  and refuse to discuss them with anyone else, they will no longer be able to affect you. 


Just because someone is your family, doesn't mean you have to allow them in your life.  I know in my personal experience, I will have nothing to do with my brother because he is crazy and dangerous.  My mother chooses to support him because she feels sorry for him because he has no one.  I would invite her to my family events and she would have the nerve to bring him knowing very well that he's not welcome.  I finally told her that if she does it again, I will no longer invite her either.  I actually warned her not to do it or she won't be attending any more holidays, birthdays, or special events.  I also miss extended family events because my mother thinks all family invitations to her, include him. (Its annoying to my extended family too)  Would I like to attend and see my relatives?  Sure.  My mother is sneaky and will actually avoid the subject so I have to ask her outright if he will or will not be at family events.  She thinks I'm the bad person for not putting up with his BS because "he can't help it he's this way".   Too bad.  I've had him show up and he just can't rush up to me fast enough to be an idiot.  I go to events ready to leave on a moments notice just in case he does show up.  Yes, it sucks, but such is life.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 16, 2015 at 9:12 PM

 That's good!

  I can tell you from my experience that my life is dramatically better when these people aren't in them.  I keep hoping that some day my brother will just leave me alone but I doubt that will happen until he's dead. That's just the kind of person he is.

Quoting luvmia: Well.actually I.dont deal.with these kind.of.people.anymore. And just like.your mother and brother, mine are toxic.too. It is.what it is.
Quoting Anonymous 1:

These are the sort of people you need to cut out of your life and stop giving them power over you.  If you have nothing to do with them, ever, meaning, don't answer the phone,  or door,  or go anywhere they will be or run into them,  and refuse to discuss them with anyone else, they will no longer be able to affect you. 

Just because someone is your family, doesn't mean you have to allow them in your life.  I know in my personal experience, I will have nothing to do with my brother because he is crazy and dangerous.  My mother chooses to support him because she feels sorry for him because he has no one.  I would invite her to my family events and she would have the nerve to bring him knowing very well that he's not welcome.  I finally told her that if she does it again, I will no longer invite her either.  I actually warned her not to do it or she won't be attending any more holidays, birthdays, or special events.  I also miss extended family events because my mother thinks all family invitations to her, include him. (Its annoying to my extended family too)  Would I like to attend and see my relatives?  Sure.  My mother is sneaky and will actually avoid the subject so I have to ask her outright if he will or will not be at family events.  She thinks I'm the bad person for not putting up with his BS because "he can't help it he's this way".   Too bad.  I've had him show up and he just can't rush up to me fast enough to be an idiot.  I go to events ready to leave on a moments notice just in case he does show up.  Yes, it sucks, but such is life.

 

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