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What To Do About My Mother-In-Law

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 11:00 AM
  • 6 Replies

Hello all!!!

I don't know if I've said this here, but my family lives with my mother-in-law.  We moved in after my father-in-law passed away in 2014.

To say she is passive-aggresive is an understatement. I married in to a Hispanic family and the culture there is that the boy is the king of the family and can do no wrong. Well, she feels that way about her son and her grandson. Heaven forbid they lift a finger to help. 

Well, my husband does NOT feel that way. Since I am taking classes online, he has really stepped up.

I know she makes comments about me and I know she tells him and not me. She makes her comments in front of me as well, and normally I just keep my mouth shut and go blow up in my room. 

If I do stand up to her and say something and call her out, I'm being rude to her (according to her).

Yes, she is a very sweet lady otherwise and she has done a lot to help us.

Last night, it was pretty much fend for yourself at dinner. She saw me making dinner for my son (yeah, mac & cheese in the microwave). She saw that I had dinner for myself. Larry (my husband) told her that him and her were having something and he would get it ready, but he was hoping she could figure it out for herself. What did she do?  She sat in the living room expecting me to be making dinner for everyone. When she saw that I was eating she got upset. I told her that it was clear that we were fending for ourselves. She said (and yes these are her words), "Well, I thought you were getting everything ready for everybody and you caould have at least had the decency to let us know when dinner was ready." So, fending for yourself meant that I had to do it all. Well, I told her, you heard the microwave, you knew I was getting dinner ready for my son and myself, you could have figured it out. She never let up and she had her little fit of getting ready for bed at 7:30 and slamming her door shut. She came back out when my husband called her. Well, she made her comment that she was all alone and blah blah blah. I got mad and said, "Get over it." Well, she said I was rude. My huband defended me, and she said "Well I thought she was getting dinner ready for everyone." That's all she could keep saying. I told her that she needs to figure things out instead of having people hand her things on a silver tray. So tonight, I am going to be getting dinner ready for everyone and when it's ready, I'm going to take a pan with a wooden spoon and bang it and yell at the top of my lungs, "DINNER'S READY!"


My problem is, how can I stand up to her without waiting until I blow up? Ever since I moved in, my depression has gotten worse. I am doing what I can to help, but it's never enough.

by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 11:00 AM
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Replies (1-6):
captainjack
by Silver Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 11:04 AM

She is toxic you need to give her the ground rules.

JayLee217
by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 12:50 PM

I've tried, but this is what I get, "I'm almost 80 and I'm your mother-in-law."  It is kind of hard to lay the ground rules when it's her house.

Quoting captainjack:

She is toxic you need to give her the ground rules.


lucy164
by Peggy on Mar. 22, 2016 at 5:21 PM

Could you sit down with her and together make dinner plans for the week?.  Include who is making dinner and for how many people.  Post the list for everyone to see.

Thewife06
by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 5:24 PM
1 mom liked this
Move out. Your husband should not be letting her treat you that way.
JayLee217
by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 6:03 PM

Oh...she criticizes him too. I'm not the only one. I WISH we could move out.

Quoting Thewife06: Move out. Your husband should not be letting her treat you that way.


Memere60
by Silver Member on Mar. 23, 2016 at 2:35 AM

Are you staying there because you feel obligated to her, or do you need to live with her for financial reasons (along with helping her out)?


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