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So much for a good day

Posted by on Mar. 30, 2016 at 9:21 PM
  • 11 Replies
Well today was supposed yo be a care free family day on one of my rare days off. Dont get me wrong most of the day was like that. Freddie and I took the kids to the zoo since they were running a family special it was cheaper then normal. It was so much fun getting to take the kids atound to see the exibits and to just have fun with them. The issue later came when I had to give my parents the rest of the money that I owed for my car this month. I was hoping it wouldn't cause a lecture but I had high hopes. No sooner did I pass off the money that my dad tells me we really need to sit down to "go over my finances" so get things a little smother. As if I havent been trying that for the last year. And when I thought I might start getting ahead because I have a steady paycheck it is just worse becuase more then 1/2 of that steady check goes straight into bills and the little I have left is somehow supposed to cover everything else we need like gas for my car to get to work, diapers, wipes, and other things for the kids and household in a month. I am tired of trying so had to pay everything thatbI am practically killing myself from working so much and still falling so short. I am tired of being a major disappointment for my family. I just wish I could "prove" to them for a change how much I do try and do fight just to keep us above water. I wish it wasnt like this every month and my family didnt see me as a massive failure. I just want to give in and give everything back to my family that they have ever helped me with. I want to start over but I cant. I dont want to keep waiting for things to get better. And to top off my day Freddie and I had a small argument because he still hasnt been able to find work but hasnt started school either and hasnt been able to help financially. He is trying but just hasnt been able to help. And now I feel like even more crap because of putting more presure on him to help me financially. Why cant a good day just be a good day for me for a change?
by on Mar. 30, 2016 at 9:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lyrick24
by Group Admin on Mar. 31, 2016 at 3:31 AM

im sorry things are so rough for you. it seems you are doing everything to support your family but you cant get any help. you are doing it all alone. is the kids dad helping any? you definately need someone in your life who is willing to help you with all these finances. if freddie is not going to school or working then i would consider kicking him to the curb. you dont need someone like that in your life. you have enough to take care of.

lucy164
by Peggy on Apr. 3, 2016 at 9:42 AM

HUGS

Memere60
by Silver Member on Apr. 3, 2016 at 11:15 AM

You are making a sincere effort to pay your parents what you owe them. I'm sorry that you are being treated badly about that. All you can do is to try to keep up your end of the bargain.

PLEASE tell me that Freddie is doing everything around the house to take that burden off of you. 

Your life has been so hard for so long..........you went through this with your ex. Now I am afraid that your life is becoming exactly like it was before. You shouldn't feel like crap for asking him to help out financially. He can't find ANYTHING to bring some money into the household?

If you were my daughter, I would be so worried about you. You're not my daughter, and I'm worried about you. This constant stress could cause illness in your body. Aren't you only about 25? Love, Memere ❤️

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 3, 2016 at 12:11 PM
The day is neither good or bad. You could have chosen to enjoy your day, you could have had your husband give your parents the money. It's all about choices, what you choose to do and what you choose to dwell on. By blaming others you're giving them power they don't have. How little or much you enjoyed your day is all on you. Have you tried getting in therapy?
momdoingitall
by on Apr. 3, 2016 at 9:48 PM
I can relate to your situation. You try and try. I need to quit letting people have power over me. When I confide in relatives mainly mom they use it against me.
lexismom90
by Silver Member on Apr. 3, 2016 at 10:16 PM
Their dad isnt helping at all for the "preliminary" child support (judge needs to ok it) he should be paying $462 a month in support (that is with the additional $100 a month for back child support) Freddie isnt working or doing school but he is applying places. I have a "schedule" so to speak of him having a job or something to help financially eith everything.

Quoting lyrick24:

im sorry things are so rough for you. it seems you are doing everything to support your family but you cant get any help. you are doing it all alone. is the kids dad helping any? you definately need someone in your life who is willing to help you with all these finances. if freddie is not going to school or working then i would consider kicking him to the curb. you dont need someone like that in your life. you have enough to take care of.

lexismom90
by Silver Member on Apr. 3, 2016 at 10:26 PM
Freddie has been doing everything around the house basically all I do is laundry and that is only washing and drying. Everything else he does. I havent even cooked dinner in about 2-3 months. So that helps a bit. He is trying to find work or at least start school. To be honest I am afraid of the same thing. I am afraid of it turning into the same situation as before and I refuse to let that go on for 9 years like I did before. It would help slightly if my ex would pay something in child support so I could at least get the kods cloths and such that they need without destroying my budget every time.

The last part means a lot to me. It doesnt seem like many people actually worry abouy me at all. So that does mean a lot. I think in a way it already is causing some illness. I have been getting sick a lot more then usual and have been having a harder time geting over sickness. And yes I am 25 right now. I will be 26 in October.


Quoting Memere60:

You are making a sincere effort to pay your parents what you owe them. I'm sorry that you are being treated badly about that. All you can do is to try to keep up your end of the bargain.

PLEASE tell me that Freddie is doing everything around the house to take that burden off of you. 

Your life has been so hard for so long..........you went through this with your ex. Now I am afraid that your life is becoming exactly like it was before. You shouldn't feel like crap for asking him to help out financially. He can't find ANYTHING to bring some money into the household?

If you were my daughter, I would be so worried about you. You're not my daughter, and I'm worried about you. This constant stress could cause illness in your body. Aren't you only about 25? Love, Memere ❤️

lexismom90
by Silver Member on Apr. 3, 2016 at 10:30 PM
Pretty much exactly how it has been going for me lately. The few times I do confide in family they try to "fix" everything which is nice sometimes but other times it just points out all of my short comings and failures. I just want to get things back on track.

Quoting momdoingitall: I can relate to your situation. You try and try. I need to quit letting people have power over me. When I confide in relatives mainly mom they use it against me.
lexismom90
by Silver Member on Apr. 3, 2016 at 10:39 PM
The problem with mental illness isnt about choosing to have a good or bad day. I realize I come across as blaming everyone. But what I dont write out here is how much I actually end up beating myself up daily because no matter what I do there are times I simply cant enjoy myself or what is going on around me. And all in all it was was still a pretty good day because I got to spend real quality time with my kids and had fun with them doing something different. I just needed to vent and put my true feelings out at the time. Which of course is also wrong and I get criticized for just like everything else. And I am already attempting to fet therapy but so far have only been able to go to two sessions. Thanks to scheduling issues with my jobs.

Quoting Anonymous 1: The day is neither good or bad. You could have chosen to enjoy your day, you could have had your husband give your parents the money. It's all about choices, what you choose to do and what you choose to dwell on. By blaming others you're giving them power they don't have. How little or much you enjoyed your day is all on you. Have you tried getting in therapy?
Memere60
by Silver Member on Apr. 4, 2016 at 7:34 AM

It is okay to vent here ❤️

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