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The Problem With Telling Ourselves Not to Be Depressed

Posted by on Aug. 18, 2016 at 12:24 AM
  • 5 Replies
1 mom liked this

I found this article was really encouraging to me. Hopefully,  it will help someone else. <3


The Problem With Telling
Ourselves Not to Be Depressed
By Stephanie Clayton

It’s a place no one wants to be, sobbing uncontrollably on the floor. Knowing I couldn’t do it myself but begging God to make it stop or to just let me die. The feeling of the carpet on my knees. I even remember watching classic antidepressant commercials saying “depression hurts” and thinking, “No, crap!” I felt so violated. It’s almost like experiencing a trauma.

This may sound extreme or dramatic, but that’s exactly what depression is, a scrappy relentless animal. It fights hard and doesn’t give up. Even when we think we have it beat, it comes back for round two, three, four or more. It’s been several years since I’ve faced depression of this magnitude, but I remember it like it was yesterday.

So what if we tell ourselves not to be depressed? To watch out for sadness and beat it off with a womping stick before it gets too close. To guard our happy with thankfulness, kindness, servitude and even busyness. It works sometimes.

What happens when it doesn’t? What happens when the sad creeper comes and camps out in your brain, despite your best efforts to keep his nasty at bay? If you are like me, then you feel defeated, alone, confused, not good enough and violated all over again.

So what does work? If we can’t beat it off or busy ourselves out of it, then what helps us in the moments when sadness seems like too much? I’ll tell you what works for me. It may sound silly or oversimplified, but it works.

Drop the rope. Drop the rope and stop fighting it.

It’s often the fear that depression will get too bad that takes us from sad to miserable. We borrow trouble from past experience and drag it willingly into the present and future. Here’s the thing: It doesn’t fit there. So instead of kicking into full-fledged panic when we feel sad, what if we just learned to accept it for what it is? What if we didn’t make it bigger or smaller? What if we didn’t tug it closer or smack at it in attempts to make it go away? Just letting it be what it is.

I’m not saying depression doesn’t hurt. We all know that it does. What I’m saying is, we don’t have to make it go away or never struggle with it again to live life. Depression can ebb and flow, and you can keep on going. It may be a part of you, but it doesn’t have to define you.

Depression is tough, but so are you. You don’t have to be violated. You can welcome it for what it is, and at the same time know it will get better. Soon enough, you will find joy.

If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.

If you need support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. You can reach theCrisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741-741

Article found at The Mighty (https://themighty.com/2016/08/why-we-should-stop-fighting-depression/) 

by on Aug. 18, 2016 at 12:24 AM
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Replies (1-5):
marney.p
by Bronze Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 3:04 AM

teen_boy_02I too have felt the ebs and flows.

lyrick24
by Group Admin on Aug. 18, 2016 at 11:52 AM

sometimes i just have to give in and stop functioning altogether. i have to let someone take care of me until i can pull it back together but i must admit i am scared of it.

abra
by Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 12:20 PM

me too. 

Quoting lyrick24:

sometimes i just have to give in and stop functioning altogether. i have to let someone take care of me until i can pull it back together but i must admit i am scared of it.


Seashell77
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 1:27 PM
1 mom liked this

 I think the key here is to try your best to ward it off knowing and doing the things that work to decrease and keep depression at bay, such as the things mentioned in the article, "to guard out happy" (I like that saying so much) like with keeping busy.  Doing everything to help ourselves is a must. Positive thoughts, like telling yourself, "it's going to get better......I will find joy" like what was stated in the article is very healthy to do. Accepting depression for what it is, is healthy too......for it's good to be able to identify what we are experiencing in order for us regroup and move forward to a better state of mind. 


Seashell77
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 1:34 PM

It's healthy and good to let friends, loved ones know when we are feeling more depressed.  Getting support is a good thing. We need to know we're still loved and cared about when we are coping with depression. Even just getting out to be among people is better than to be alone and isolated.  Strangers don't know what we may be feeling or experiencing, but just to have that human contact, to feel alive.....a part of life feels good for us. Going to a local park or library or to the store can lift our moods and help a great deal.....having others around us and life around us..  Also coming here to our group is a good way to get support we need and friendship !!! we rock

Quoting abra:

me too. 

Quoting lyrick24:

sometimes i just have to give in and stop functioning altogether. i have to let someone take care of me until i can pull it back together but i must admit i am scared of it.


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