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Not giving in to depression

Posted by on Feb. 15, 2017 at 8:14 PM
  • 16 Replies

My closest friend (of 6 1/2 years) has disappeared on me. We used to see each other at least once a week, often 2-3 times...but in the past month or so, she's been unavailable when I reach out to her. I used to text her when I was working at the boutique and she'd almost always stop in and chat. She pet-sits and teaches a couple of ballet classes at night, so she has a lot of free time throughout the day. We used to tell each other everything; I'd tell her about my issues with depression/medication, my family, my interests/hobbies, my love life with my husband and more. She shared everything with me, too, including her health issues (she has a vision problem and scoliosis). She's dealt with situational depression and taken antidepressants but isn't right now (that I'm aware of). The best part of our friendship was how much we laughed together; we really had fun...I'd go shopping with her and help her pick out clothes b/c she's color blind (just part of her vision problem). But I've been texting her a few times a week for the past month (maybe longer) and she either doesn't reply, replies, late or says she's busy. This is the longest I've gone without seeing her in over six years. I have abandonment issues from my father leaving and I'm fighting hard to not let this feed into those feelings. I do have other friends and family but she was my best friend...I keep wondering if I did something to offend her/turn her off. She knows I started back in therapy to face some of my childhood trauma issues and I just wonder if she decided she doesn't want to support me through it. I'm not in any sort of crisis or anything; I went to therapy once and we discussed how my PTSD issues affected my holidays and will work on me acquiring "tools" to cope better when these symptoms flare up. I'm just missing my friend and feeling so lonely...I start to get a sinking feeling inside but always fight it and will NOT slip into depression. Sigh...I'm tired of being disappointed by people :(

by on Feb. 15, 2017 at 8:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
BlackBird_Trppd
by Member on Feb. 15, 2017 at 11:23 PM
I honestly don't know what what to say except Iam sorry. I don't have many close friends and I tend to push people away before they vanish or can hurt me, but that's just a part of my own disorder. I hope she comes around for you, it sounds like a very special friendship. Keep your head up and try to just be honest and let her know how much you miss her.
lyrick24
by Group Admin on Feb. 16, 2017 at 1:19 AM

i dont know why she up and vanished as she obviously needed your friendship as much as you needed hers. there is something she is def. not telling you. i would just keep dropping her a text every now and then that you miss her.

Cenedra64
by Silver Member on Feb. 16, 2017 at 7:04 AM
1 mom liked this
I've been like that myself. Just can't handle everything sometimes. Give her space and time
momwriter
by Silver Member on Feb. 16, 2017 at 11:40 AM

Thanks!

Quoting BlackBird_Trppd: I honestly don't know what what to say except Iam sorry. I don't have many close friends and I tend to push people away before they vanish or can hurt me, but that's just a part of my own disorder. I hope she comes around for you, it sounds like a very special friendship. Keep your head up and try to just be honest and let her know how much you miss her.


momwriter
by Silver Member on Feb. 16, 2017 at 11:40 AM

Thanks!

Quoting lyrick24:

i dont know why she up and vanished as she obviously needed your friendship as much as you needed hers. there is something she is def. not telling you. i would just keep dropping her a text every now and then that you miss her.


lucy164
by Peggy on Feb. 16, 2017 at 12:17 PM
2 moms liked this

Maybe if you send her a letter explaining what you just told us she may come around.

Seashell77
by Silver Member on Feb. 16, 2017 at 10:15 PM
1 mom liked this

I feel it's something going on with your friend. Maybe she's going through a bad time and having difficulty talking about it just yet. I like the suggestions the others made about new ways to reach out. I admire you for not giving into the depression. Good for you. That's taking good care of yourself! Meanwhile don't forget about the other friends you mentioned, try to get together with some of them. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Feb. 18, 2017 at 5:35 AM

Having a mental illness makes it hard to make and keep friends. it sounds like she is trying to distance herself from you. I know its awful but it happens. HAs happened to me.

Memere60
by Silver Member on Feb. 18, 2017 at 9:49 AM

Is it possible that the latest election has caused a rift in your relationship? Do you guys share the same political viewpoint?



momwriter
by Silver Member on Feb. 19, 2017 at 8:09 AM

I know this happens but the timing doesn't make sense. She was reliable and stood by me when my depression was bad several years ago. It's been better for quite a while now; she knows I started back in therapy to address some PTSD issues but generally I'm doing well, functioning at a normal level (working, caring for my home and family, etc). I am not depressed. She had a car accident about 6 months ago and was a bit traumatized/didn't want to drive and I was very supportive through that..We always had fun/laughed a lot when we were together, so it's sad to have that disappear :(

Quoting Anonymous 1:

Having a mental illness makes it hard to make and keep friends. it sounds like she is trying to distance herself from you. I know its awful but it happens. HAs happened to me.


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