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Ugh...really having a rough go of it...

Posted by on Nov. 29, 2017 at 4:02 PM
  • 12 Replies

So, I've been seeing my boyfriend now for about 15 months. In August, my son and I followed him to a different state. Before and after the move, his father has expressed "concerns" about our relationship. For example: he worries that because I'm much older than my bf, that I'll try and steer the relationship. Which is the opposite of how I am and not something he has to worry about his son letting happen. 

But things seemed to have been getting better. Until today, when I met with his dad's business partner (and my only real friend in this town) and she said he seemed aprehensive about us meeting. But that she's 100% in my corner and working to help him see me in a more positive light.

On top of that, my job is 100% sales/commission based and I have NO clients yet, so no income. Well the owner sat me down today to give me a scolding and a pep talk, all rolled into one, about how my cold calling has dropped to 0 lately and it's clear I've taken on a defeatist attitude. So I'm feeling really beat up on and down on myself, like I'm letting everyone down somehow. 

The only thing keeping me out of the pit is that I get to see my boyfriend tonight and he told me the first time his dad raised concerns that they didn't drive his discisions or desire to be with me. 

Thanks for letting me vent! 

by on Nov. 29, 2017 at 4:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Seashell77
by Gold Member on Nov. 29, 2017 at 6:33 PM

Hi Shana, sounds like you've been going through a lot of changes. Moving is always so stressful and across state is even more challenging. Getting used to a new area and the situation with your bf's father is not easy. Sounds like you are trying your best in a rough set of circumstances. Hopefully time will help ease the situation with your bf's father. It's good that his dad's business partner is in your corner and gave you good advise about your own business. 

I also want to welcome you to our group! It's a very supportive place, with caring, nice people. welcome

Hope you have a nice time tonight with your bf.

NatsSilentStep
by New Member on Nov. 29, 2017 at 6:40 PM
Tyvm. She tells me his dad is always on the lookout for strong women and, in spite of my sensitivity, I would say I fit that bill! I just need to be patient and know that it'll all work out I guess.

Quoting Seashell77:

Hi Shana, sounds like you've been going through a lot of changes. Moving is always so stressful and across state is even more challenging. Getting used to a new area and the situation with your bf's father is not easy. Sounds like you are trying your best in a rough set of circumstances. Hopefully time will help ease the situation with your bf's father. It's good that his dad's business partner is in your corner and gave you good advise about your own business. 

I also want to welcome you to our group! It's a very supportive place, with caring, nice people. welcome

Hope you have a nice time tonight with your bf.

Seashell77
by Gold Member on Nov. 29, 2017 at 6:44 PM

Those are strange things for his dad to say. He's sounds like a wackadoodle. Yeah, hopefully this will all work out in time. What does your bf make of all this? Is he supportive and kind to you, regardless of what his father is saying? 

Quoting NatsSilentStep: Tyvm. She tells me his dad is always on the lookout for strong women and, in spite of my sensitivity, I would say I fit that bill! I just need to be patient and know that it'll all work out I guess.
Quoting Seashell77:

Hi Shana, sounds like you've been going through a lot of changes. Moving is always so stressful and across state is even more challenging. Getting used to a new area and the situation with your bf's father is not easy. Sounds like you are trying your best in a rough set of circumstances. Hopefully time will help ease the situation with your bf's father. It's good that his dad's business partner is in your corner and gave you good advise about your own business. 

I also want to welcome you to our group! It's a very supportive place, with caring, nice people. welcome

Hope you have a nice time tonight with your bf.


NatsSilentStep
by New Member on Nov. 29, 2017 at 6:47 PM
He really is. He has made it very clear that his father's concerns are NOT his concerns and that if he had worries of his own, we'd talk about it. His dad is just super overbearing.

Quoting Seashell77:

Those are strange things for his dad to say. He's sounds like a wackadoodle. Yeah, hopefully this will all work out in time. What does your bf make of all this? Is he supportive and kind to you, regardless of what his father is saying? 

Quoting NatsSilentStep: Tyvm. She tells me his dad is always on the lookout for strong women and, in spite of my sensitivity, I would say I fit that bill! I just need to be patient and know that it'll all work out I guess.

Quoting Seashell77:

Hi Shana, sounds like you've been going through a lot of changes. Moving is always so stressful and across state is even more challenging. Getting used to a new area and the situation with your bf's father is not easy. Sounds like you are trying your best in a rough set of circumstances. Hopefully time will help ease the situation with your bf's father. It's good that his dad's business partner is in your corner and gave you good advise about your own business. 

I also want to welcome you to our group! It's a very supportive place, with caring, nice people. welcome

Hope you have a nice time tonight with your bf.

Seashell77
by Gold Member on Nov. 29, 2017 at 6:49 PM

That's great that your bf takes that stance. What's his mother like? 

Quoting NatsSilentStep: He really is. He has made it very clear that his father's concerns are NOT his concerns and that if he had worries of his own, we'd talk about it. His dad is just super overbearing.
Quoting Seashell77:

Those are strange things for his dad to say. He's sounds like a wackadoodle. Yeah, hopefully this will all work out in time. What does your bf make of all this? Is he supportive and kind to you, regardless of what his father is saying? 

Quoting NatsSilentStep: Tyvm. She tells me his dad is always on the lookout for strong women and, in spite of my sensitivity, I would say I fit that bill! I just need to be patient and know that it'll all work out I guess.
Quoting Seashell77:

Hi Shana, sounds like you've been going through a lot of changes. Moving is always so stressful and across state is even more challenging. Getting used to a new area and the situation with your bf's father is not easy. Sounds like you are trying your best in a rough set of circumstances. Hopefully time will help ease the situation with your bf's father. It's good that his dad's business partner is in your corner and gave you good advise about your own business. 

I also want to welcome you to our group! It's a very supportive place, with caring, nice people. welcome

Hope you have a nice time tonight with your bf.


NatsSilentStep
by New Member on Nov. 29, 2017 at 7:29 PM
His mom is far more hands off. I've only met her once but she seems more accepting of me.

Quoting Seashell77:

That's great that your bf takes that stance. What's his mother like? 

Quoting NatsSilentStep: He really is. He has made it very clear that his father's concerns are NOT his concerns and that if he had worries of his own, we'd talk about it. His dad is just super overbearing.

Quoting Seashell77:

Those are strange things for his dad to say. He's sounds like a wackadoodle. Yeah, hopefully this will all work out in time. What does your bf make of all this? Is he supportive and kind to you, regardless of what his father is saying? 

Quoting NatsSilentStep: Tyvm. She tells me his dad is always on the lookout for strong women and, in spite of my sensitivity, I would say I fit that bill! I just need to be patient and know that it'll all work out I guess.

Quoting Seashell77:

Hi Shana, sounds like you've been going through a lot of changes. Moving is always so stressful and across state is even more challenging. Getting used to a new area and the situation with your bf's father is not easy. Sounds like you are trying your best in a rough set of circumstances. Hopefully time will help ease the situation with your bf's father. It's good that his dad's business partner is in your corner and gave you good advise about your own business. 

I also want to welcome you to our group! It's a very supportive place, with caring, nice people. welcome

Hope you have a nice time tonight with your bf.

Seashell77
by Gold Member on Nov. 29, 2017 at 11:29 PM
1 mom liked this

That's good! It's good that she's accepting of you too. 


Quoting NatsSilentStep: His mom is far more hands off. I've only met her once but she seems more accepting of me.
Quoting Seashell77:

That's great that your bf takes that stance. What's his mother like? 

Quoting NatsSilentStep: He really is. He has made it very clear that his father's concerns are NOT his concerns and that if he had worries of his own, we'd talk about it. His dad is just super overbearing.
Quoting Seashell77:

Those are strange things for his dad to say. He's sounds like a wackadoodle. Yeah, hopefully this will all work out in time. What does your bf make of all this? Is he supportive and kind to you, regardless of what his father is saying? 

Quoting NatsSilentStep: Tyvm. She tells me his dad is always on the lookout for strong women and, in spite of my sensitivity, I would say I fit that bill! I just need to be patient and know that it'll all work out I guess.
Quoting Seashell77:

Hi Shana, sounds like you've been going through a lot of changes. Moving is always so stressful and across state is even more challenging. Getting used to a new area and the situation with your bf's father is not easy. Sounds like you are trying your best in a rough set of circumstances. Hopefully time will help ease the situation with your bf's father. It's good that his dad's business partner is in your corner and gave you good advise about your own business. 

I also want to welcome you to our group! It's a very supportive place, with caring, nice people. welcome

Hope you have a nice time tonight with your bf.


NatsSilentStep
by New Member on Nov. 30, 2017 at 1:48 PM
1 mom liked this

we talked about this last night. it's entirely possible that his dad's business partner was projecting her own experience with him onto the situation. his dad has told my boyfriend that he finds me charming and tough and that he appreciates how I love him (bf). 

Feeling much better today! doesn't hurt that my guy left me a little love note with my eggs this morning. 

Quoting Seashell77:

That's good! It's good that she's accepting of you too. 


Quoting NatsSilentStep: His mom is far more hands off. I've only met her once but she seems more accepting of me.
Quoting Seashell77:

That's great that your bf takes that stance. What's his mother like? 

Quoting NatsSilentStep: He really is. He has made it very clear that his father's concerns are NOT his concerns and that if he had worries of his own, we'd talk about it. His dad is just super overbearing.
Quoting Seashell77:

Those are strange things for his dad to say. He's sounds like a wackadoodle. Yeah, hopefully this will all work out in time. What does your bf make of all this? Is he supportive and kind to you, regardless of what his father is saying? 

Quoting NatsSilentStep: Tyvm. She tells me his dad is always on the lookout for strong women and, in spite of my sensitivity, I would say I fit that bill! I just need to be patient and know that it'll all work out I guess.
Quoting Seashell77:

Hi Shana, sounds like you've been going through a lot of changes. Moving is always so stressful and across state is even more challenging. Getting used to a new area and the situation with your bf's father is not easy. Sounds like you are trying your best in a rough set of circumstances. Hopefully time will help ease the situation with your bf's father. It's good that his dad's business partner is in your corner and gave you good advise about your own business. 

I also want to welcome you to our group! It's a very supportive place, with caring, nice people. welcome

Hope you have a nice time tonight with your bf.


Seashell77
by Gold Member on Nov. 30, 2017 at 7:04 PM
1 mom liked this

It's good that you both have good communication between you and are able to talk about this. Taht's wonderful news of the feedback that your bf gave you about his dad's views. Seems like he turned the corner in a big way. I'm happy for you. That's really sweet how your bf left the love note for you! Things are looking up!

Quoting NatsSilentStep:

we talked about this last night. it's entirely possible that his dad's business partner was projecting her own experience with him onto the situation. his dad has told my boyfriend that he finds me charming and tough and that he appreciates how I love him (bf). 

Feeling much better today! doesn't hurt that my guy left me a little love note with my eggs this morning. 

Quoting Seashell77:

That's good! It's good that she's accepting of you too. 


Quoting NatsSilentStep: His mom is far more hands off. I've only met her once but she seems more accepting of me.
Quoting Seashell77:

That's great that your bf takes that stance. What's his mother like? 

Quoting NatsSilentStep: He really is. He has made it very clear that his father's concerns are NOT his concerns and that if he had worries of his own, we'd talk about it. His dad is just super overbearing.
Quoting Seashell77:

Those are strange things for his dad to say. He's sounds like a wackadoodle. Yeah, hopefully this will all work out in time. What does your bf make of all this? Is he supportive and kind to you, regardless of what his father is saying? 

Quoting NatsSilentStep: Tyvm. She tells me his dad is always on the lookout for strong women and, in spite of my sensitivity, I would say I fit that bill! I just need to be patient and know that it'll all work out I guess.
Quoting Seashell77:

Hi Shana, sounds like you've been going through a lot of changes. Moving is always so stressful and across state is even more challenging. Getting used to a new area and the situation with your bf's father is not easy. Sounds like you are trying your best in a rough set of circumstances. Hopefully time will help ease the situation with your bf's father. It's good that his dad's business partner is in your corner and gave you good advise about your own business. 

I also want to welcome you to our group! It's a very supportive place, with caring, nice people. welcome

Hope you have a nice time tonight with your bf.


deltathree
by Platinum Member on Dec. 4, 2017 at 11:20 PM
1 mom liked this
It can be very hard when parents meddle in your business. It's really between you and your boyfriend. Hugs.
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