I am just so stressed. I have a good life...amazing family, and I'm just overwhelmed. I work for a student ministry at a church. I've worked there for 12 years. I've slowly lessened my hours as my family has grown.
It's probably time to quit and become a SAHM, but it's so hard. This has been my life since I was a teenager. My husband feels like he's doing a lot around here and he's exhausted. He's such a good husband. I've been suffering from severe anxiety for the last few months, so by the time he comes home from work, I'm useless.
He doesn't complain. If dinner isn't ready, he finds something, he bathes the kids, puts them to bed...but the house is a disaster, and I'm really not pulling my weight. Partly because of the job, partly because of anxiety. He is an amazing man and an unbelievable husband and father, but he's tired and can't do it all after working 12 hour days.
So, after a long talk, I either need to do MORE, which is overhwelming, or quit.
Then we have a student who's mother hung herself. She has no father, no siblings, no family. She has to arrange and pay for a funeral and go back into the house to dig through paperwork that they need for her assets and for info for a death cetificate.
We have helped her to pay for the funeral and go into the house (which should have been condemned), feces and dirt everywhere.) Who's going to care for this sweet girl if I don't (and I get it - someone will - but this job is so meaningful)
I have another friend who's husband is a drug addict. Yesterday, she found out she was pregnant with her second child and her husband disappeared.
I just want to be a support and help these people who need me. I think it's GOOD for my girls to see us serving others and to learn a giving spirit. I play with my kiddos and love on them every day. I think I'm a good mom, but I can be better....
I just can't do it all and I just want to do nothing but cry.
Sorry to babble.
on Jan. 24, 2013 at 12:24 PM