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Kids' Health Kids' Health
So to make this short I have a horrible decision to make..My bf smokes pot which doesnt normally bother me because my kids arent here at the momment but now im preggo again & I am getting my kids back eventually (custody battle). soo I dont want anything that might come in the way of my kids staying with me.they are my life..i really like my man but he seems not willing to give it up..i almost call this a deal breaker for me..wat should I do? my bf always gets upset when I try telling him how I feel..
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by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 3:38 PM
Replies (21-28):
momma0ffive
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 10:38 PM

whats more important to you?

i know i sound like a sarcastic ass, because we all know the answer.....  your kids are more important so the weed smoking should be a deal breaker at least for now.

Butterfly1108
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 10:40 PM
It's a very hard habit to break for pot smokers. I was married to a pothead once and he never gave it up he tried but not hard enough...he didn't want to I guess.
But that was the past now I am married to one that does no drugs ;) GL
He won't change unless he wants to :/
Maureenmich
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 11:19 PM

for me it's a deal breaker - and I'm the adoptive mom of 2 children who's biological mom picked her BF over her kids (by allowing those behaviors to continue).  She also lost 6 of her other children.  I would do whatever i could to get / keep my kids. 

candi0689
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:55 AM
well hes said hes quiting so im excited,of coarse if this doesnt happen I will be ending it even if that means broken hearts but we will see & im making sure he knows im proud of his decision..i will show him the support he needs but yall are right if he doesnt really want to he wont..so day by day we will see.. ty all for your input
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PrincessZ20
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 8:16 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting casedellic.:

 So I guess i'm gonna be the one person to give a different perspective.

I am a pot smoker so this could be why. In your situation I totally understand being concerned with getting your kids back and whatnot. I wouldn't do it if I felt it was in any way impacting my children, and dont have it around them. I think I would try and have the conversation even if it ends up in a fight and possibly just setting ground rules..like he can't smoke in the house or around the house and kids EVER and if it means that much to him I think he should respect your wishes. Also if he can't do it just whenever he may eventually just quit...and if not at least he'll cut back!

Hope you guys figure this out for the kids , I wish you the best :)

I agree.  I don't think pot is a big deal, but it IS illegal.  I enjoyed smoking up on occasion back in the day, but haven't done it since my wedding.  If it weren't illegal, I'd treat it like a cross between alcohol and cigarettes - no smoking around the kids (second hand smoke and whatnot), and do it responsibly if there are children around after the actual smoking (no getting stupid, sloppy, out of control, there's someone sober in case of emergency, etc).

That being said, it is illegal.  Him having it in his possesion around you puts your chances at custody at risk.  Talk to him about it, explain where you're coming from.  If he wants to smoke up at a friend's house, that's one thing.  But he shouldn't be doing it in your home, or around your kids.

Good luck!!


PrincessZ20
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 8:18 PM

Oh, and if he gets upset any time you try to talk about your feelings, that's not a sign of good things to come....you're going to have lots of times when you'll need to talk about your feelings.

PrincessZ20
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 8:18 PM


Quoting candi0689:

well im glad to report he said he would quit,im not getting my hopes up but its a start :) im soo happy about this.

That's great!  I'm glad he's taking it seriously :)  Good luck to him - and you!


candi0689
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 8:32 AM
yea if it wasnt illegal I wouldnt mind but since it is thats what bothers me..but we'll see.. thanks yall


Quoting PrincessZ20:


Quoting casedellic.:

 So I guess i'm gonna be the one person to give a different perspective.


I am a pot smoker so this could be why. In your situation I totally understand being concerned with getting your kids back and whatnot. I wouldn't do it if I felt it was in any way impacting my children, and dont have it around them. I think I would try and have the conversation even if it ends up in a fight and possibly just setting ground rules..like he can't smoke in the house or around the house and kids EVER and if it means that much to him I think he should respect your wishes. Also if he can't do it just whenever he may eventually just quit...and if not at least he'll cut back!


Hope you guys figure this out for the kids , I wish you the best :)

I agree.  I don't think pot is a big deal, but it IS illegal.  I enjoyed smoking up on occasion back in the day, but haven't done it since my wedding.  If it weren't illegal, I'd treat it like a cross between alcohol and cigarettes - no smoking around the kids (second hand smoke and whatnot), and do it responsibly if there are children around after the actual smoking (no getting stupid, sloppy, out of control, there's someone sober in case of emergency, etc).

That being said, it is illegal.  Him having it in his possesion around you puts your chances at custody at risk.  Talk to him about it, explain where you're coming from.  If he wants to smoke up at a friend's house, that's one thing.  But he shouldn't be doing it in your home, or around your kids.

Good luck!!


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