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Kids' Health Kids' Health

Preschoolers and Aggression

Posted by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 4:26 PM
  • 7 Replies

How about help regarding a 4 year old who recently started acting out at daycare (i.e. hitting/biting/kicking, even shaking another little girl by the head) and throwing tantrums at home for mom (but not dad) to the point that he is completely irrational and unable to console for up to an hour. This is a little boy whose usual rebellion is to say "No!" or call me "Weirdo!" This had only been going on in the last month. I have had him evaluated by his pediatrician for medical issues (i.e. problems post tosillectomy/adenoids/tubes placed, ear infection, bad teeth, etc). This is a sudden change that is so far from his normal behavior. When I ask him, he tells me he acts that way at daycare because he doesn't like a certain little boy (of which my son is usually excludes from play) and tells the daycare provider, when she asks why he doesn't like to come there, that he just wants his mommy. Any help?

by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 4:26 PM
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Replies (1-7):
TonyaLea
by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 4:54 PM

You could ask your doctor for a referral to a bahavioural therepist to evaluate him.  

TigerofMu
by Sonja on Apr. 26, 2012 at 5:16 PM

There is definitely something going on there.  Has he given you any more information about what is going on with this other boy?  Does the daycare provider observe/supervise them? I would try to have her keep some kind of observational records or log of what specific behaviors she is seeing, and what is happening right before.  Yes, it is kind of a pain, but it's really helpful in trying to figure out what is triggering those behaviors, and a behavior specialist is probably going to ask for that anyway.  There may be things going on that she's not seeing as well.  

As you're finding out what's going on, he's going to have to start learning how to handle his feelings and emotions in a better way, even when he is upset.  Yes, that's hard for a 4 year old.  It's sometimes hard for adults!  But there are always going to be things that upset us, and the sooner we start learning strategies to cope, the better off we will be.

Vertical15
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 2:36 PM

Great advice.  I think there is definately something setting him off and I would keep trying to figure that out.

Quoting TigerofMu:

There is definitely something going on there.  Has he given you any more information about what is going on with this other boy?  Does the daycare provider observe/supervise them? I would try to have her keep some kind of observational records or log of what specific behaviors she is seeing, and what is happening right before.  Yes, it is kind of a pain, but it's really helpful in trying to figure out what is triggering those behaviors, and a behavior specialist is probably going to ask for that anyway.  There may be things going on that she's not seeing as well.  

As you're finding out what's going on, he's going to have to start learning how to handle his feelings and emotions in a better way, even when he is upset.  Yes, that's hard for a 4 year old.  It's sometimes hard for adults!  But there are always going to be things that upset us, and the sooner we start learning strategies to cope, the better off we will be.


new_mom808
by Andrea on Apr. 27, 2012 at 9:36 PM

 Sonja had great advice.

Im curious about him not acting out for dad.

Are you saying that these issues started after he had proceedures for all of these?
 (i.e. problems post tosillectomy/adenoids/tubes placed, ear infection, bad teeth, etc).

staceywinter04
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 1:46 AM
As I told my medical doctor on Thursday, I am very concerned since the 'memorable moment' I have with his symptoms is his surgical procedure. He has always been my sweet, concerned boy who is now my aggressive, anxious young man. He has this nervous thing he does with his hands even. About 4 nights after surgery, he woke up a bawling/screaming mess (nearly called 911in for seizure-like activity....I happen to be a nurse). The insanity he woke up in that night is the irrational child I see during his aggressive behavior now. He did bite another child when provoked, at about age 2. He has not since exhibited any aggressive behavior until all came to a head this week. The little boy my son claims not to like has also been at daycare for nearly a year. My son actually picks on this other little boy more than he does to my son. I have had talks with my son in the last 6months about being himself, as a little girl was having my son do her 'dirty work' at daycare. I'm seriously afraid this is a repercussion of anesthesia in addition to his underlying fears and anxieties. Our next stop is behavioral health. Has anyone heard of this anesthesia/aggression correlation??? This is NOT my little boy.
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staceywinter04
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 1:51 AM
My apologies....my son had tonsillectomy/adenoidectomy/tubes placed approximately 1 1/2 months ago. I don't remember him being this anxious about social situations prior to this. He has quit going to storyhour (which he has gone to for 2yrs) and is very hesitant socially. He wouldn't even join in a Easter egg hunt with his cousins because there were 'too many kids'. I chalked it up to the new ear tubes providing too much stimulation....
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new_mom808
by Andrea on Apr. 28, 2012 at 8:52 AM

 

Quoting staceywinter04:

As I told my medical doctor on Thursday, I am very concerned since the 'memorable moment' I have with his symptoms is his surgical procedure. He has always been my sweet, concerned boy who is now my aggressive, anxious young man. He has this nervous thing he does with his hands even. About 4 nights after surgery, he woke up a bawling/screaming mess (nearly called 911in for seizure-like activity....I happen to be a nurse). The insanity he woke up in that night is the irrational child I see during his aggressive behavior now. He did bite another child when provoked, at about age 2. He has not since exhibited any aggressive behavior until all came to a head this week. The little boy my son claims not to like has also been at daycare for nearly a year. My son actually picks on this other little boy more than he does to my son. I have had talks with my son in the last 6months about being himself, as a little girl was having my son do her 'dirty work' at daycare. I'm seriously afraid this is a repercussion of anesthesia in addition to his underlying fears and anxieties. Our next stop is behavioral health. Has anyone heard of this anesthesia/aggression correlation??? This is NOT my little boy.

 I have heard of anestesia reactions, but not sepcifically aggression. (more like taste changes, hair changes etc) But it doesnt sound impossible to me. Can you get him in to see a behavioral therapist?

Although, I am now remembering that my vet said to watch for it in my dog after he came out of anestesia.

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