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Kids' Health Kids' Health

so do you think I'm a bad Mom for this?

Posted by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 8:48 PM
  • 19 Replies

I usually never ask for these kind of opinions but today I'm on the fence...ok so this is my DS first time in school b/c I home schooled him before  my dd is having a much easier transition then ds..  past few months Ds for some reason has gotten into a back and fourth with another boy in his class.  and about 10 days ago it escalated and my son was relentlessly calling him "a poopy head"   now initially 2 months ago it was the other kid who was the aggressor... my son has just somehow "getting him back"    I Spoke with Steven (my son)  we role played....it got better all week  until Friday  my son nagged him AGAIN ! GRR    and the kid final hauled off and threw my sons boot at him  (right in the face)-- and although my son has not ever laid hands on him  IMHO I don;t think Connor was wrong  and when I got the call Steven was hurt by him I said "well maybe he'll leave him a lone now"... and I told Steven when he got home "I'm sorry for your bubu  [I kissed cleaned and made it better]  but really  you deserved it and you know it--  this weekend I've gotten 4 emails from his teacher  astonished at my reaction???


Now earlier in the school year  my DD who has returned to school (3rd grader)--  had a issue with a 5th grade boy bullying her on the school bus-  I called the principle  I called the teacher I called the bus company --2 weeks later it's still going on-- more calls no solution soo--

she has been in MMA for a while and was confident -  beginning of week 3  he started AGAIN with her this time  she  whooped his a**  (and she's half his size)-- and I would NOT let the school discipline her in any way and they did not  and I did not either  --it was a brief discussion at home and done-- her MMA teacher had a 1:1 with her for over an hour  but she felt good when they were done -- I was fine with that too--  his parents never showed either at the school "meeting''--   I think b/c if they were going to persue their son's injuries  from my dd I would persue sexual  harrasssment charges on their 11 year old --it was caught on camera the bus is on survalence --


So this is how I am dealing with bullying.....  are you putting me on the bad Mommy list?


by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 8:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Bronze Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 8:58 PM

since you know that your child was the one pushing buttons, yes he needed to learn what would happen if he went too far.   There are always 3 sides to a story for school situations.. Child A, Child B and the teacher. We havent had to deal with bullying really with dd yet and i know her daddy will turn into a roaring bear if it did happen.  I remind her not to bug other kids who do not want ot be her friends and there are others that like her.

MELRN
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:14 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm sad that this is the world I live in and our kids go to school in....I pray soon dh will be back to work and I can take them out

PrincessZ20
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:34 AM
2 moms liked this

That's a tough situation, because every situation is different, and there's no one size fits all answer.

My dog nipped at Alex once.  He was poking her in the eye.  I think it was fully justified.  He's never done it again, and except that one time, she's never nipped or snapped at either child.  Some people would not be okay with that happening, but I think it was a great lesson in cause and effect.

Your daughter took matters into her own hands after those who were supposed to have her best interest chose not to do anything about it. 

I'd probalby have had the same reaction with your son's situation - sometimes they get what they deserved, even if it wasn't exactly appropriate.  I would be apalled if my child threw the boot, but I wouldn't blink if he were the one the boot was thrown at, lol. 

BramblePatch
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:57 AM
I am sorry. I hope you get to head backing to homeschooling soon.
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auntangelofsix
by Angel on Jan. 20, 2013 at 2:22 PM
I am so sorry.
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karamille
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 4:22 PM
1 mom liked this

Max is one of the tallest kids in his class (which causes me much teasing from the fam since my husband and I are both short =P) and he can be pushy with the way he wants things done.  I could see him becoming an accidental bully.  He had even told us that not nearly as many kids wanted to play with him anymore as thy did at the beginning of the school year.  We have been talking a lot about how would he like it if someone talked bossy to his little brother the way he talks to his friends at school.  He said he wouldn't like it one bit.  Well... all of those kids are somebody's little brother or someone's child and they wouldn't like it one bit either if they knew Max was talking the child they cared about like that.  It seemed to hit home and he seems to be playing with more kids again at recess.  

So back to your original question... no I don't think you are wrong in thinking you son got what he had coming to him.  However, with that said, you need to be sure he doesn't retaliate against the kid for throwing a boot since he was already getting him back verbally for teasing him.  You don't want a blood feud on your hands.  =P  

new_mom808
by Andrea on Jan. 20, 2013 at 7:43 PM
The onlt concern I have in the Steven situation is the teachers reaction. Are you sute the other boy hasnt instigated anything recently? I seems like if Steven was the sole aggressor the teacher wouldnt be so shocked. I certainly wouldnt put you on any bad mommy lists. Given the information I would be right there with you.
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new_mom808
by Andrea on Jan. 20, 2013 at 7:48 PM
My sons BF is a full head taller and probably 6 lbs heavier. At 4 hes already built like a linebacker. Its a constant concern for his moms too, that hell be labled a bully because of his size and stubborness. You can already sometimes people forget that hes only 4 and expect too much from him.

Quoting karamille:

Max is one of the tallest kids in his class (which causes me much teasing from the fam since my husband and I are both short =P) and he can be pushy with the way he wants things done.  I could see him becoming an accidental bully.  He had even told us that not nearly as many kids wanted to play with him anymore as thy did at the beginning of the school year.  We have been talking a lot about how would he like it if someone talked bossy to his little brother the way he talks to his friends at school.  He said he wouldn't like it one bit.  Well... all of those kids are somebody's little brother or someone's child and they wouldn't like it one bit either if they knew Max was talking the child they cared about like that.  It seemed to hit home and he seems to be playing with more kids again at recess.  

So back to your original question... no I don't think you are wrong in thinking you son got what he had coming to him.  However, with that said, you need to be sure he doesn't retaliate against the kid for throwing a boot since he was already getting him back verbally for teasing him.  You don't want a blood feud on your hands.  =P  

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momamanda
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:49 PM

I dont see anything wrong with it. You go mommy!

TerriC
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 9:37 AM

I don't see anything wrong with the way you handled both situations.  And good for your daughter!!!  If the people that are supposed to protect her at school and on the bus aren't doing so, take matters into your own hands.  I am glad she had the ability to do so!

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