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Ear piercing vs. circumcision double standard

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One of my friends posted this on Facebook, and I thought it was an interesting argument about double standards, I had never heard the piercing / circumcision debate discussed this way:

"Now, I've heard this argument time and time again.. how parents won't pierce their daughter's ears until SHE'S ready and responsible to take care of them. Though I respect that, and am in no way, shape or form out to attack anyone for the choices they've made for their children.. I am bewildered why piercing your daughter's ear at such a young age has become more taboo than circumcising your son just days after his birth. Why the double standard? Why is it more ok to sign away your son, without his consent, to a procedure using anesthesia and restraints with an outcome that is irreversible and unnecessary but such a big deal to sign a consent form for a tiny hole that is no more painful than an immunization shot and can heal if later not desired? I just don't get it..."

 I know the controversy on CM: those that think neither is Ok, those that think both are fine...but if you are in the middle ground - why? (and please be civil and respectful, this is a great drama-free group for the most part)

by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 6:41 PM
Replies (51-57):
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 1:52 PM

If the parents refused to talk about the infections, how do you know so much about them?

I've raised four boys, one circumcised, three intact.  I had to use quite a bit of neosporin ointment on the circumcised one, when he was a baby.  Intact boys do not get infections unless someone injures their penises by forcing back their foreskins.  Many parents and doctors still don't know that it is wrong to do that.  Any kind of injury is likely to get infected.  Body parts that are not injured generally do not get infected. 

Quoting karamille:

I don't think its p[ossible to have a civil respectful conversation on this.  People are too emotional, and with that they skew the truth.  I have a couple of friends who have intact boys who have had infections but swear up and down it has nothing to do with the fact they are intact and get nasty if you ask  questions about their infection at all.  The fact is... I know 4 intact boys who have had infections.  I don't know a single circ'd boy that  has had infections.   I don't necessarily think that is is good cause to say that all boys should be circ'd but if moms aren't willing to be truthful about it, then we can't have an honest discussion.  

As for ear piercing... I have boys - not girls - but as a hair stylist I will not pierce girls ears until they are old enough to take care of them and want them enough to sit still during the piercing.  Parents are more than welcome to take them elsewhere, but I won't do it.  I don't want someone saying their kids earrings are crooked, blaming on me when really they having it done on a kid who wasn't old enough to hold still.  

by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 3:46 PM
I won't do either
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 3:53 PM
I got my ears pierced at 12 years old. I'm almost 28 and my holes will never grown shut. I wish I didn't have these holes in my ears... I won't sign for my children, boys or girls (i have 5) to get their ears pierced. They can make that decision as an adult. And even then who hasn't made a decision they regret in their early adult life?

My husband is circumcised and beyond grateful it was done as a infant and not when be was older and would remember. We looked into it more and more with each boy (we have 3) and decided more and more it was the right thing to do. I was with our youngest when he had it done last Dec. We waited until he was a week old and I got to know him that week, his sleep and eating patterns, his temperament and I can say without a shadow of a doubt it did not change him in the least bit. We are Christians who respect the Torah. For us it was done for "religious" reasons because we find lots of amazing health benefits to follow the laws of the first 5 books of the Old Testament. And no its not a salvation issue either.
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by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 4:53 PM

My sons are circumcised because I believe in the medical benefits of it. It also becomes more complicated to have done as a person gets older. 

On the other hand, there are no real benefits to having pierced ears, it's purely cosmetic. And it's no less complicated to have done when the child wants it. 

by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 9:25 PM


Quoting Mipsy:

I think both are fine to do at a young age. Your child, your beliefs, your way.


by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 7:33 PM

A friend of mine said her son's circumcision needs to redone.   She thinks he needs to have pretty penis.  She is one of those ladies that needs to have everything perfect in her life.  

by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:15 PM

 no double standard here.  it is their body & while we as parents have to make some decisions for them, making alterations to their bodies is not one hubby & i feel is our right to make.  we also believe that if a male wasn't meant to have the foreskin he wouldn't be born with it.  but those are our beliefs & don't look down on anyone who believes differently!

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