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10 reasons why i'm fat

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:50 PM
  • 2 Replies

 10. Because I generally dream about food. Eating it, cooking it. Last night I dreamt that I was eating a Steak sandwich on wheat toast (I guess in my subconcious I'm still on a diet) with tons of onions and the juices running down my arm. In the dream I was licking my arm not to miss the juices. I checked this morning to make sure I hadn't actually licked my arm.

9. I hide snacks from my kids that I don't want to share with them.

8. I hide snacks from my husband that I don't want to share with him.

7. I eat the above snacks while lying in bed and hiding them under the covers so no one knows I'm eating them.

6. Workout sweat leaves me with that "not-so-fresh feeling"

5. Everything tastes better with cheese.

4. When on a diet I don't count any food I eat between midnight & 6am because that is when I am supposed to be asleep.

3. I am virtually powerless in the presence of those two sadistic hippie bastards, Ben and Jerry. I mean come on... Peach Cobbler Ice Cream... that is just wrong!!

2. In every single food equation, fat equals flavor. Do the math.

1. Buying clothes off the rack is not nearly as satisfying as having to get everything "made special." Because what is the point of being a diva if my clothes aren't unique

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:50 PM
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Replies (1-2):
ilovexzavier
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:54 PM

This was funny! I especially liked 1 & 2!

brae425
by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 11:02 PM
I'm with ya
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