how can i help her if she wont help herself

[mom_of_one_boy]

I have a friend that i met my freshman year. Shes been a plus size gal since i met her. Freshman year she was just under 300lbs. Now 15 years later she is pushing almost 700 lbs(and no im not kidding either. Wish i was) Her sisters and her mom are also plus size but my friend is the biggest of the 4 of them. I saw her the other day and i kept thinking that i dont want to end up being like her. As right now im standing at 265 lbs and im not happy with that. Ive plateaued on weight loss for a moment. Ive been struggling with my personal demons lately and its been hard on me. Im starting over. Im looking at new exercise equipment since i keep loosing interest in what i already own. Longer story for different post.
But back to my friend. Shes been told by drs that its nor healthy to be as big as she is and she could end up dead before shes 30. Me and another friend have offered to exercise with her but she never gets back to us when we call her. Shes eating herself to death literally. Im at a loss. I love my friend but i cant bear to see her throw her lide away like she is. Sorry for the rant.

[yo_ho]

I don't think there really is anything you can do unless she wants to help herself =(

[haydsmom2007]

It's like the saying, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

I'm sorry for your friend, but I don't think there's much you can do :( Except keep talking to her about why it's important. It should be important to her to be healthy but you should explain that it's important to YOU and her family too. You want her in your life and it's not fair of her to not care about that.

[mom_of_one_boy]

Unforunately u are right. Ive offered help where i can. I can stand to loose at least 100 more lbs. :-) but she needs to realize she needs to help herself too. I wish i had magic powers so i could just wave a wand and poof my belly is gone but i cant. I have to work to achieve my goals.

[sillymumof2]

Have you tried the honest truth.. That she's going to drive herself to the grave with how she's treating her body. And her life means so much more to you than that. And you aren't willing to give up on her... some times people need a serious push into the right direction

[haute_couture]

I don`t doubt she refused working out with you. With the weight of 700 lbs probably she`s walking hardly, what about exercising. If you would like to help her I think it would be better to try to convince her to put a gastric bypass or put herself to lyposuction. For the big quantities of food that she`s eating I think Xenical or other product containing Orlistat would effect well too. Those pills take fats from the food without being digested.

[2boysmommy867]

Hugs to you!

I can not even imainge what you are going through.  However, you can not make her exercise or eat healthy.  I think all you can do is be a positive support for her and let her know that you are there for her.

[JenniferRichey]

you cant halp if she doesnt want you to. maybe you offering to work out with her is like a 105 pound gal asking you if want to go to the gym. 700 to 265 is just a whole different league. sounds to me liek she might need a massive weight loss clinic. or lap band.

[jendawn1]

Giant hugs.
The only thing you'll be able to is lead by example. When you get together with her bring water, bring over fruits and veggies platters!
You stay on a healthy path and she hopefully will see the change and want the help.

[darbyakeep45]

Big hugs to you mama!  You can't do much unless she wants to help herself...what a tough situation!

[mom_of_one_boy]

The state has offered to pay for gastric bypass and a tummy tuck if she list 10% of her body weight. 65-70 pounds is all that amounts to. If i was in her shoes id starve myself. Id and for walking, you are right. She is barely walking but even at that weight you can make baby steps in the right direction. She was a laughing stock in highschool. She got more depressed as time went by. I can feel for her on that because thats how i got to the weight im at but i made a decision that i wasnt going to let depression rule my life. I want to live to see grandkids. I have let her know that i am there for her and i dont want to bury another friend before im 30. (Already lost a few friend in last couple of years) all i can do is try to be a positive influence and show her it can be done. Its just really hard to see her like this. I honestly think though shes given up