A little refresh June of 2011 my S/O left like always for work, I stay home with boys go about are day. S/O and I are txting or calling through out the day. Around 4pm I stoped hearing from him. Fanilly around 10 I was so worried I called his phone listened to a full voice mail box and got coworkers number of it and called them. Only to find out he never showed up for his 7pm or 10pm run. (He
was a ic and had 3 normal runs and whatevr extras were given) plus his 1pm paperwork was never turned in. Everything from he's dead in a street somewhere to anything was running through me mind. I called his family about it at this point. They said oh he's fine he probly just to tired to answer phone. I'm like he missed his fucking job. No matter how tired he is he wouldn't just not show up.
I'm up all night calling every ploice, hpd, hostpail with no luck. I splet maybe a hour that night.
The next moring, I learn he's in fuckin jail. Yep jail. I can't go into way but that's it in a nut shell.
Which brings us to today. I'm so ready for this to be over. But at the same time I'm soooo afarid of all the changes, what if's. I didn't sleep great last night I can tell cause I'm so sleepy stil and I have a pain in my neck from moving around to much.
This is going be life changing no matter what for all of us. In one way or other I'm going become a single mom of 2 (which I know its been done time and time again) but don't mean I'm not afarid of it, we are going have to move, (his family won't let kids and I stay on the land), my yougest will become daycare (he'll be 4 in July so it will be good but still never been a day in his short life), my oldest will change school (he's been at the same school since kinder). My yougest only knows of daddy and mommy being together. My oldest and I went birth to 2 yrs old being just the 2 of us and rembers it but stil daddy and I have back together for past 6 yrs so it will stil be a change.
I'm barly holding on. Just needed to get it off chest. Thanks for reading sorry if hard to understand.