I refuse to give up on myself (my journey)

[iwannalose10]

Dear Diary,

My name is Franklyna and a Food addict 
 
 i have an unhealthy relationship with food and i am here to change this unhealthy relationship by changing my lifestyle and eating habits so that i can lose all the weight and stay at my goal weight. i go thru a lot of unhealthy cycle by being on different kinds of diet  and that is why i have spent 5 years yo-yoing (treating the symptoms) not the cause.i never gots to my goalweight.I accept its not all so bad considering my weight in 2007 abt 100kg then losing some till i started here ard 83kg. i am think i never got to goal bcos i saw this as dieting and never as a permanent lifestyle change,so i lose then gain. i think i have been binging of late due restrictions on  my food  (labelling food as good or bad) which leads to grasping for those foods--then back to more restriction leads to --more binging)---,then beating up myself ..then cycle continues.

 My hunger just resides in my head instead of stomach..i dont eat normal foods when i am in the dieting mode..it get to be extra healthy so once i slip off i end up eating all the butter bread,white bread,pizza,chips and chocolates on the weekend.(eating bcos i ate) then i start all over again the next day.
 i am determined to dig deep and deal with my food problem,eradicate emotional and binge eating,reach my goal and stay there 

inspiration: i am the only obstacle  that can stop me!!!!

start weight 82.5kg 182lbs

ultimate goal: 70kg 154lbs

weights updates 

08/12 --- 82.5kg 181.5lbs,

01/13.....77.7kg 171lbs 

02/13.....75kg 165lbs

03/13 ......73kg  161lbs

04/13---72.8kg 160.5lbs

total loss approx 21lbs :)

Reasons to lose weight

to proof to myself that i can have the lean strong healthy sexy body i want.

to show to the world who am really is, to be truthful and confident with myself.

to be a good mother and wife.

to be truely happy to be me and fit into all the cute dresses

     

onwards downwards to my goal!!

[iwannalose10]

i am stuck weight-wise and its my aim to get motivated to get myself out

of this self induced plateur.i am on two weeks holidays and my eating this week has been arrrrrrrrrrrrg,

good thing is i have been rearraging the house and the kids love it.

i had brunch of 2eggs fried with onions and 2ww sliced bread with another coffee.

i am feeling lazy............................................................,

[pattya925]

Feeling lazy days... I have those often :) I usually don't push myself superhard on those low-energy days but do try to squeeze in something small - a walk, a yoga video... something.  Hope you have a productive day!

Quoting iwannalose10:

i am stuck weight-wise and its my aim to get motivated to get myself out

of this self induced plateur.i am on two weeks holidays and my eating this week has been arrrrrrrrrrrrg,

good thing is i have been rearraging the house and the kids love it.

i had brunch of 2eggs fried with onions and 2ww sliced bread with another coffee.

i am feeling lazy............................................................,

[iwannalose10]

june 04

Dear Diary 

After overeating  a week b4 my holidays and contiued that for a week ,

i feel so fat and definately feels abt 3kg weight crept back.

My time of month is here and all in all i feel lazy and fat but want to eat.

i let my self go at dinner time yesterday and i was doing great till i decided to practice my skills

on making good doughnuts and they all ended up in my stomach except the few i packed away.

i dont really konow how to redidicate myself to losing again.

watching out that wedneday will be better.

[iwannalose10]

Dear Diary,

i am getting out of this funk,i am restarted my exercise routine today and will be

eating cleanly and counting my calories,6 months gone and i have given myself one more excuse

each time i overeat or i eat the pie, doughnut or cookie and i am done with execuses,

so going to have a sweat productive day .

i couldnt have imagine the weight that starred back at me 76.3kg.

the last time i weigh i was 72.8kg,how this i allowed this to happen,ok enough pity party and back on track

i can only be defeated when i quit.but iam not quiting .

foods in mind

cofee

tomatoes

2 cooked eggs

zucchini soup

rice and chicken vegetable

apple

[iwannalose10]

had my 2nd run yesterday,did some stretches and squats and my thighs are killing me,

i am really tired of losing and gaining .time to reach my goal.