I have been lurking and I am ready to start
Everytime I lose weight, I always have something to look forward to. 1st it was keeping my first husband. I gained 65 pounds with dd11. He was drifting away and I thought it was me. So I slammed those 65 lbs plus some. Down the drain in 8 months. Not in a healthy way. I stayed thin for a couple of years, went through another pregnancy and a divorce gaining back all 65 lbs. 2 years later, I meet DH and have a wedding to plan. In a year, I slammed those 65 lbs. for the last two years, it's slowly creeping back on. I've managed to gain 30 lbs and honestly it could be 40lbs because I am terrified to get on the scale.
I posted on here not long ago that I needed to lose the 20lbs I had gained since I got married. But instead I've put on an extra 10 maybe more.
In all the attempts I've made to lose weight, it's always been for something or someone else. Now I want to do it for me. I'm tired of this. I am 32 years old and I feel 42 maybe even 52. My legs hurt. My hips hurt. And my clothes don't fit right. I'm done. But I feel at a loss. I love food and every single day I have this guilt of what I am putting in my mouth but I say, well tomorrow I'll start over. And tomorrow leads to another lunch date at the Mexican restaurant with chips and queso and tortillas.
Where in the world do I start? This is my journey for me. Once and for all. I want to kick this life style and be a better me. Not for anyone else but me. (And maybe my hips since they are crying for relief!!)
My goal would be to start with losing the 10lbs I gained. Ultimately I'd like to be back down to 140. My body was happy there. I was happy there. That's 'only' 25lbs.
ETA: if I could get some good tips on how to curb my hunger that would be fantastic. I know the first few weeks are going to be hard because I always feel like I'm starving even if I should not be. I just told dh, we are about to change how we eat, so ear up cause tomorrow I'm going to the grocery store... Lol