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Is it normal

Posted by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 9:54 AM
  • 14 Replies
I started my serious weight loss journey in Fall of 2011 and from my start until now, I'm down approximately 70 lbs. I'm not 100% certain what my starting weight was because I had gotten so big, unhealthy, and disgusted with myself that I refused to weigh myself until some weight had already come off.
Anyway, I'm down *about* 70 lbs, 30-35 inches off my body, 3 comfortable dress sizes, 4-5 shirt sizes, and depending on the brand between 3-5 jean sizes.
I'm lighter and healthier than I have been in 5 years. I still have a long way to go, but everyone irl keeps telling me how proud they are of me and how great I look. This is a double edged sword for me because im glad they notice, but it also gives me a false sense of accomplishment. The problem is that when I look in the mirror, I still see myself as I did when I was at my heaviest. I KNOW that I've lost a lot, and I do see the changes, yet I still don't really feel accomplished because I know how far I have to go yet. I still see myself as fat and disgusting when I look in the mirror. And when I hit big milestones, I tend to slack off and lose motivation.

My question is, how do I move past this? I want to feel good about myself and see the progress I've made without settling. And when I finally reach my goal, I want to be able to look in the mirror and see myself how I am, not how I was.

I guess I'm afraid to actually hit my target weight because I'm worried I still won't be satisfied. I'd also be lying if I said I wasn't afraid of loose skin. I know that I will have loose skin and that terrifies me because I'm afraid that when I hit my target, I won't be able to focus on the loss, but rather the *gain* of loose skin. This is not my only concern though. Ugh.

So tell me, is it normal to still see yourself as you were when you began your journey rather than the accomplishments you've made?
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by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 9:54 AM
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Replies (1-10):
itsm3
by Silver Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:28 PM
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if you were how you were for a long time, it makes sense that the new person standing in front of you is hard to imagine let alone believe that you were different.  you have created an identity with your old self so letting that identity go and creating a new one can be daunting.

however, focus on the future and present.  to be happy, focus on today, not yesterday.  know that you're doing great things for yourself and your family because you will be there for them.  focus on the fact that you have accomplished a huge milestone; something that many are still struggling with.  dno't worry about vanity (loose skin) -- the weight loss itself if a huge feat and something you should be proud of.  

keep it up!

Tashina12
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 3:20 PM
Thank you very much!


Quoting itsm3:

if you were how you were for a long time, it makes sense that the new person standing in front of you is hard to imagine let alone believe that you were different.  you have created an identity with your old self so letting that identity go and creating a new one can be daunting.

however, focus on the future and present.  to be happy, focus on today, not yesterday.  know that you're doing great things for yourself and your family because you will be there for them.  focus on the fact that you have accomplished a huge milestone; something that many are still struggling with.  dno't worry about vanity (loose skin) -- the weight loss itself if a huge feat and something you should be proud of.  

keep it up!


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chrisnjoesmom
by Adrienne on Feb. 23, 2013 at 3:26 PM
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Look at pictures of yourself at your heaviest, it will help you realize the difference. Then go buy a new top/dress/outfit that shows off your accomplishments!  Reward yourself!

Tashina12
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 3:41 PM
Thanks darlin! I guess that's kind of the problem though. When I look at pictures from then to now, I can see the difference and it makes me happy and proud of myself. But when I look in the mirror, I still see myself at my biggest. It sucks, because I know it's in my head. Lol!
But thank you, I do appreciate your input. :)


Quoting chrisnjoesmom:

Look at pictures of yourself at your heaviest, it will help you realize the difference. Then go buy a new top/dress/outfit that shows off your accomplishments!  Reward yourself!


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dmwood
by Silver Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 4:02 PM
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Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. :( If a friend kept telling you that you were fat and ugly you wouldn't be their friend anymore. Start talking to yourself and thinking about yourself positively. Focus on your accomplishments. Tell yourself you are beautiful - YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Every time you start to think something negative - STOP! Say 3 positive things about how you look and then step away from the mirror. Keep those positive thoughts in your head throughout the day. You have come a long way - be proud of your accomplishments. 

Tashina12
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 4:18 PM
Thank you sooo much!!! I'm definitely going to work on this.. :)


Quoting dmwood:

Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. :( If a friend kept telling you that you were fat and ugly you wouldn't be their friend anymore. Start talking to yourself and thinking about yourself positively. Focus on your accomplishments. Tell yourself you are beautiful - YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Every time you start to think something negative - STOP! Say 3 positive things about how you look and then step away from the mirror. Keep those positive thoughts in your head throughout the day. You have come a long way - be proud of your accomplishments. 


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dmwood
by Silver Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 4:29 PM
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It is normal and you are not alone. It will take time to retrain your brain to think positive thoughts but you will start to see yourself for the person you are not who you used to be - You are worth it! You're welcome and Good luck!! 

Quoting Tashina12:

Thank you sooo much!!! I'm definitely going to work on this.. :)


Quoting dmwood:

Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. :( If a friend kept telling you that you were fat and ugly you wouldn't be their friend anymore. Start talking to yourself and thinking about yourself positively. Focus on your accomplishments. Tell yourself you are beautiful - YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Every time you start to think something negative - STOP! Say 3 positive things about how you look and then step away from the mirror. Keep those positive thoughts in your head throughout the day. You have come a long way - be proud of your accomplishments. 




lbriones24
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 4:34 PM
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let me start by saying I am proud of you lossing "about 70lbs" I think its a huge accomplishement and we have to start somewhere.

With the motivation.... just tell your self you have made it to -70lbs you can do -75lbs when you get to -75lbs do the same if you can do -75 you can do -80 and so forth.
I am also trying to loose weight my weight has got my selfesteem low and affected me in a lot of ways.
About a month ago I told my self that this time I was going to loose the wait stop feeling sorry for myself and promised my self to get my self-esteem back.
I placed a cute dress on my room door and every day I see it. I remind myself that I WILL FIT in that dress and wear it for my bday(1month away).
you could do something like that a constant reminder!

Dont give up! YOU CAN DO THIS. push your self dont allow for the what if i had not given up.
you might have loose you wont know until you get there and if you do, well you can cross that bridge when you get there!

lbriones24
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 4:35 PM

Quoting chrisnjoesmom:

Look at pictures of yourself at your heaviest, it will help you realize the difference. Then go buy a new top/dress/outfit that shows off your accomplishments!  Reward yourself!

 this is also a good idea!

mefingas
by Morgan on Feb. 23, 2013 at 5:09 PM
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I so know how you feel.  When I reached my goal weight before I got pregnant I ended up changing it  before I told myself it was okay to try and get pregnant.  Right now I am below my goal weight and I am 8 months post partum. I fit into jeans I wore in high school but when I look at the mirror I see myself fatter then I really am.  I don;t think I will ever be able to look myself in the mirror and not see something that I wouldn't want to tighten or tone.  But Right now everytime I look in the mirror I tell myself how proud I am of myself for getting where I am currently. For me I can honestly say that even though it wasn't until I got new clothes that I actually was like wow, I am looking pretty fit and I was proud of the size of clothes that fit me again.  Sometimes it isn't the number on the scale but how you look like in clothes.  Buy some new clothes, get a makeover and when you look yourself in the mirror tell yourself you are beautiful because you are.

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