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Weight Loss, Fitness & Health Weight Loss, Fitness & Health

NSV *warning prog pic of my bottom*

Posted by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 8:27 AM
  • 37 Replies
6 moms liked this
I have an eating disorder. Im in recovery, have been for quite some time. Some days are harder then others but overall every thing is ok.

Back before recovery I had a pair of jeans that were a 00. They hung off me. The were still wearable up until January of this year. I am just a small person so they fit the proper way. I always used these jeans to gauge everything. I finally let go. My newly built ass and legs just don't fit in them and instead of halting the process of gaining muscle I gave away the jeans.

So hard. They were a symbol of accomplishment for me but I know they were unhealthy. I feel weird knowing they are gone.

Gaining muscle has really changed how I look and it is a hard change because my brain lies to me. It is what I want but I gained it faster then I thought so I was taken by surprise. I look different in my clothes and I feel like I look better naked. The opposite was true all my life.

I know its my ed effing with me and I know how great it is that I've come this far but what a tug of war.
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by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 8:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
JerseyAirGurl
by *Ada* on Mar. 5, 2013 at 8:32 AM

High fives... I struggled through horrible relationships in my past and many other bad things... Lead to an eating disorder. It's hard to change habits and a mindset. It is always there but I just remember to take it moment by moment to add up to a bigger part of time and life towards being a better version of myself. Congrats on your accomplishments and success. 


crabbyD
by Diana on Mar. 5, 2013 at 8:53 AM
Wow.... Although I don't know you all that well I'm extremely proud of you! That took a lot to do that especially if they measured how good you'd feel. I'm positive you look way.better now especially with your new found buns! Congrats!
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Hunnybadgerkins
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 8:58 AM
Thanks :) they were just a comfort item I couldnt bear to part with. I love not having a flat butt anymore. Im even happy with my legs getting bigger. That's such a huge deal for me. Im sure I will get u sed to it.
I took a picture of my back and tush but it would probably be a little much to post lol. I don't want to offend!


Quoting crabbyD:

Wow.... Although I don't know you all that well I'm extremely proud of you! That took a lot to do that especially if they measured how good you'd feel. I'm positive you look way.better now especially with your new found buns! Congrats!
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crabbyD
by Diana on Mar. 5, 2013 at 10:04 AM

I'd consider that a progress pic! lol

Quoting Hunnybadgerkins:

Thanks :) they were just a comfort item I couldnt bear to part with. I love not having a flat butt anymore. Im even happy with my legs getting bigger. That's such a huge deal for me. Im sure I will get u sed to it.
I took a picture of my back and tush but it would probably be a little much to post lol. I don't want to offend!


Quoting crabbyD:

Wow.... Although I don't know you all that well I'm extremely proud of you! That took a lot to do that especially if they measured how good you'd feel. I'm positive you look way.better now especially with your new found buns! Congrats!


dmwood
by Silver Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 10:05 AM
1 mom liked this

That is a major accomplishment!! Congratulations!! We are so proud of you!!

Hunnybadgerkins
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 10:06 AM
Lol I do too

Quoting crabbyD:

I'd consider that a progress pic! lol

Quoting Hunnybadgerkins:

Thanks :) they were just a comfort item I couldnt bear to part with. I love not having a flat butt anymore. Im even happy with my legs getting bigger. That's such a huge deal for me. Im sure I will get u sed to it.

I took a picture of my back and tush but it would probably be a little much to post lol. I don't want to offend!




Quoting crabbyD:

Wow.... Although I don't know you all that well I'm extremely proud of you! That took a lot to do that especially if they measured how good you'd feel. I'm positive you look way.better now especially with your new found buns! Congrats!


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KCisPaulsMom
by Bronze Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 10:10 AM

This is such a big deal!!! The size 00 jeans story reminds me so much of a co-worker/friend. I don't think she quite gets that her relationship with food is disordered. She used to talk about how she would measure her thighs and if they got "too big"... it was time to cut back. For the longest time she wore 00 and the backside was always hanging on her. She thinks she's being healthy when she eats junk like freeze-dried packets of soup.... which she does  because they are only 90 calories. She'll also sometimes eat some raw veggies and cereal bar. Then... she goes home and eats soup with a  salad... and sometimes some wine to "spice it up." I think she has gotten a little better since she got married and is now a stepmom to an adorbable 3 year old boy. I think she said she is a size 2... or 4, depending on clothes maker... but she still complains that her belly is not flat enough. Let me tell you... it's plenty flat enough... there's just no muscle tone.  Anyway... she doesn't see it.

I guess what I am saying is that it is tremendous that you are able to see your body as it really is. Some people... like my friend... still can't.

 

emilyrosenj
by Bronze Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 10:12 AM
1 mom liked this

that is awesome, you probably look so much healthier and nicer!  Great job!

Hunnybadgerkins
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 10:15 AM
That's sad :( I never had any delusions about my health. I used to think I was going to die the way my heart fluttered and I was prepared for it. I didn't care.
I haven't known that girl in quite some time but the impulse to not eat is still in the back of my head. I just fight it one day at a time. I still fit in very small sizes but that's just because im short and have a small structure.
I feel bad for your friend but it isn't something you can win on your own. I had to be hospitalized several times before I wanted to get better.


Quoting KCisPaulsMom:

This is such a big deal!!! The size 00 jeans story reminds me so much of a co-worker/friend. I don't think she quite gets that her relationship with food is disordered. She used to talk about how she would measure her thighs and if they got "too big"... it was time to cut back. For the longest time she wore 00 and the backside was always hanging on her. She thinks she's being healthy when she eats junk like freeze-dried packets of soup.... which she does  because they are only 90 calories. She'll also sometimes eat some raw veggies and cereal bar. Then... she goes home and eats soup with a  salad... and sometimes some wine to "spice it up." I think she has gotten a little better since she got married and is now a stepmom to an adorbable 3 year old boy. I think she said she is a size 2... or 4, depending on clothes maker... but she still complains that her belly is not flat enough. Let me tell you... it's plenty flat enough... there's just no muscle tone.  Anyway... she doesn't see it.


I guess what I am saying is that it is tremendous that you are able to see your body as it really is. Some people... like my friend... still can't.


 

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Hunnybadgerkins
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 10:17 AM
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Ok sorry im in a thong but it was an impromptu pic and im so proud of how far I've come. This is a progress pic even though it might look naughty it isn't lol. Sorry if I offend.
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