NSV *warning prog pic of my bottom*
Back before recovery I had a pair of jeans that were a 00. They hung off me. The were still wearable up until January of this year. I am just a small person so they fit the proper way. I always used these jeans to gauge everything. I finally let go. My newly built ass and legs just don't fit in them and instead of halting the process of gaining muscle I gave away the jeans.
So hard. They were a symbol of accomplishment for me but I know they were unhealthy. I feel weird knowing they are gone.
Gaining muscle has really changed how I look and it is a hard change because my brain lies to me. It is what I want but I gained it faster then I thought so I was taken by surprise. I look different in my clothes and I feel like I look better naked. The opposite was true all my life.
I know its my ed effing with me and I know how great it is that I've come this far but what a tug of war.