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How can I "break up" with my workout buddy?

Posted by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 9:57 AM
  • 11 Replies

When I first started going to the gym my friend decided to join with me. It was nice to have a buddy to there while I got used to it and figured things out. But now I have realized that I very much prefer to workout alone. 

The problem is that my friend refuses to go alone. She has health issues and has been ordered by her doctor to lose weight. She has lost 10 pounds so far. She is also having her second knee surgery next week and the doctor wants her to continue working out. If I tell her I don't want to go with her anymore I am 98% sure she will just quit going and I really don't want her to do that.

So should I just suck it up and deal? I'm trying to find a happy medium, but I usually go to the gym 3 days a week and jog 3 days a week. She can't jog because of her knee problems and she doesn't want to "waste money" to go to the gym 1 or 2 times a week. Does anyone have any ideas or advice? I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks!

by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 9:57 AM
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by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 10:00 AM
I'd just tell her. You need to take care of yourself and be the best you that you can be. If she can't settle for meeting with you once a week then that's on her, not you.
by Bronze Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 10:01 AM
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If she doesn't want to "waste money" going to the gym, then that's all on her.  You can only do so much as far as encouraging her.

I say continue working out the way you want to.  No one says that she has to be there for every workout so go 3 times a week and job 3 times a week.  If she really wants to go, then she'll go.  However, it sounds like she's making excuses not to go so I personally wouldn't even bother bending over backwards with her. 

by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 10:21 AM
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i woud just go without her knowing and if she catches you, ike the above poster said - no one says you HAVE to go with her. you just suddenly "went at the last minute and didnt want her to drop everything because of you" :)

by Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 11:12 AM

Over the last several years I have had workout buddys come and go.  I believe just telling her the truth that you have to do what works for you and jogging is your thing.  You can still give her encouraging words, to keep working out because it is so good for her but letting her know you will be jogging. 

by Bronze Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 12:33 PM
Don't let her dictate your routine. Go when it works for you. Do the workouts that you want to do. Work your plan. If she wants to join you then you can welcome her along. I wouldn't hold yourself back for her sake but I also would give her the opportunity to step it up.
by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 12:51 PM

This is a touchy subject and one I'm actually going to be blogging about this week. I have a gym buddy that I have wanted to "break up with" for a few weeks now but I just can't do it. She weighs 300+ and if she quits going I feel like I would be contributing to her failure. I know that's not logical, and you can't "save" everyone, and you have to worry about yourself, etc... but for me, I would have LOVED if someone would've dragged me up with them instead of me having to do it alone, ya know? 

On the other hand, if she is not willing to compromise, it's definitely time for you to move on. You can encourage her, you can work out with her, but it's not ALL about her. You have to do you, too.

by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 3:28 PM

You could do it gradually.  Pick a couple times a week to do it when she can't or wont.  Wean her off you a bit.  Encourage her to do it on her own.  I wouldn't not go to the gym just because she doesn't want to spend the money.  Working out is about your time and your results. 

I'm getting ready to break up with my workout buddy.  She rests too long, wants to chat it up, and I just want to bust it out.  We just do things differently. 

by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 5:18 PM

I would be honest with her, you can't be responsible for her success or failure. Just let her know that you have realized you prefer to work out alone, but maybe you can still get together 1-2 times a week and hang out and do the rest solo. 

by on Aug. 30, 2013 at 6:40 AM
I think if it is like Burden on you going with her then you will not enjoy your workout as you are not willing to that with her and you will be suffering from the loss , so it’s better to tell her directly about this and prefer to go alone.
by on Aug. 30, 2013 at 7:40 AM

You can always just go to the gym by yourself and not tell her then come home and do a 1 hour work out with her? I don't know at least this way your not leaving her totally behind. But keep her motivated she needs this as much as you do :)

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