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Weight Loss, Fitness & Health Weight Loss, Fitness & Health

Advice needed

Posted by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 8:28 PM
  • 13 Replies
Okay. So, I am a person who pushes as hard as I can and then more. I give it 150% in my workout. I try very hard to eat as clean as possible (as a woman some days are more challenging than other ;-). However, I have an acquaintance who doesn't feel the same. She basically needs her hand held. She won't workout on her own. To get her a jump start I walked with her while the weather was warmer and told her I would walk 3 days a week with her. Now that the weather is colder, I can't. I have a 3 year old and a 4 month old. Although I am getting hot and sweaty (maybe) on the walks (3 miles + sometimes) the wind is very cold on my babies. They get sick easily (ear infections mostly). I also pay for a gym membership and now that he is old enough to go I have to utilize that 1) I love the classes and 2) I pay for it, I don't want to waste money every month. She has said several times I should walk with her and I states I would walk with her later in the afternoon when it was a bit warmer. She doesn't want to accommodate her schedule to fit in a couple late afternoon walks so why should I risk my babies getting sick and not using the gym? I feel horrible about this, but I can't hold her hand to exercise.

Update:
She gets the point apparently. She's not walking on her own. But our other friend started walking with her when she is off. But called me this morning and said she wasn't going to get her baby out this morning bc it was too cold. Well, good! It sounds strange, but it almost confirms my feeling on getting my babies out in this cold weather. Who wants to get their babies out for an hour in 50-60 degree weather with the wind blowing! Crazy. She will have to grow up and just not have her hand held. No one held my hand they supported me, they didn't hold my hand...big difference.
by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 8:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mrs.LeftBrainer
by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 8:39 PM
What are her health and fitness goals? What is her eating habbit like?
Perhaps she could start out with a pilates, yoga , zumba, or hula fitness class or dvd to do at home.
Brit31
by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 8:53 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with you. You can't hold her hand to exercise. That's her responsibility. Also don't risk getting your babies sick. Tell her that you can't always be there and that sometimes you will be able to but can't commit to three times a week with the cold wearher
srehman
by Bronze Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 9:24 PM
In all honesty, she does this new thing called plexus slim. She also sells it. She doesn't really eat the best. However this stuff works she has lost a lot of inches. Her goals are nothing more than walking. My offer to her was since she doesn't need childcare at the gym she could pay 15$ a month at the gym I go to, or she could do planet fitness for 10$ a month. She doesn't want to do either. I'm very proud of her she walked her first 5k which is fantastic and when we walk, we walk 3+ miles. But she just won't do it on her own.


Quoting Mrs.LeftBrainer:

What are her health and fitness goals? What is her eating habbit like?

Perhaps she could start out with a pilates, yoga , zumba, or hula fitness class or dvd to do at home.

Mrs.LeftBrainer
by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 9:45 PM
If she doesnt eat the best then help her in that area. Perhaps she can take a friend or family member with her to walk or even better... A dog. Dogs are always down to go for a walk lol...funny but very true.
srehman
by Bronze Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 10:39 PM
I preach all the time about eating clean to her. That is my pet peeve. I am not 100% but everyday I do make good choices. I eat clean and yes have "bad" days or lazy days. Example is that she bragged about eating pork ribs and whatever else she ate while taking this stuff and she lost three lbs in 4 days. (Yes it's true she did and she still is).
none of her other family will walk bc they work or live to far and she doesn't like the dog. The dog is "her husbands" dog. The other friends Idk about. I even told her that on another website there is a local site where people would be willing to walk! And she doesn't want to try that. What else can I suggest? She says she doesn't like gyms...although she had a membership up until about 6/7 months ago and doesn't like gyms now (???) and at home DVDs she probably wouldn't do. I can suggest them but she probably won't.



Quoting Mrs.LeftBrainer:

If she doesnt eat the best then help her in that area. Perhaps she can take a friend or family member with her to walk or even better... A dog. Dogs are always down to go for a walk lol...funny but very true.

Steph1499
by Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 10:42 PM
1 mom liked this

If she really needs the motivation to get moving then maybe she should join the gym with you.  I personally like to workout alone because I dont have to keep up with someone or have someone keep up with me.  It sounds like she needs that motivation to go workout but you shouldnt risk the kids getting sick because she cant workout in the afternoon. 

darbyakeep45
by Darby on Nov. 12, 2013 at 7:07 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree mama...hugs!  Personally, I like to workout alone for that reason:)

livndaybyday
by Alicia on Nov. 12, 2013 at 8:20 AM
1 mom liked this
It sounds like she is just looking for an easy way out and shifting the blame to you on why she can't exercise. I know you want to help your friend, but she has to really want to be helped. I've spent years making excuses on why I can't lose weight and how I can't work out, and years trying out every fad diet scheme there is. The reality is, eating right and exercising is hard work, but no one else can do it for you!
srehman
by Bronze Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 11:28 AM
That's what I have said. You have to want this to do it. No excuses. Specifically, she makes time to go have margaritas for lunch so, why not make time for a walk instead?
When we want something time will be made for it. She has one child (~k~) and I have three 1 in school and two at home. It's about 60 degrees give or take in the mornings and that wind is cold. It warms up in the 70's in the afternoon beautiful and perfect to walk in.
But, she has said bluntly she won't walk alone it's boring. Really? Do you want to lose weight or not? I've told her to download some music and walk or talk shows or something and do it. I've suggested the gym to her.
I just don't think she wants it as bad as she says she does. This journey is hard for everyone. But you have to put in the work and want it. And maybe that's what it is(?). Oh! Another thing the place we are walking is 5 minutes from where she drops her son off for school....and she won't do it alone. (????)


Quoting livndaybyday:

It sounds like she is just looking for an easy way out and shifting the blame to you on why she can't exercise. I know you want to help your friend, but she has to really want to be helped. I've spent years making excuses on why I can't lose weight and how I can't work out, and years trying out every fad diet scheme there is. The reality is, eating right and exercising is hard work, but no one else can do it for you!

srehman
by Bronze Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 9:54 PM
That's exactly what I suggested. She doesn't need childcare and for her it would be 15$ a month or she could join our other friends gym which is 10$ a month.
She says she doesn't like gyms now. I would love to pay 15$ a month! But, she doesn't like them.


Quoting Steph1499:

If she really needs the motivation to get moving then maybe she should join the gym with you.  I personally like to workout alone because I dont have to keep up with someone or have someone keep up with me.  It sounds like she needs that motivation to go workout but you shouldnt risk the kids getting sick because she cant workout in the afternoon. 


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