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so upset

Posted by on Jan. 2, 2014 at 5:24 AM
  • 13 Replies
3 days ago DH, DD, DS and I went to the mall, while there DH decided it was time to "have a talk" so for an hour he "discussed" my weight and appearance. When I attempted to interrupt to tell him the conversation was inappropriate for the mall, in front of our kids and hurtul he kept on with these "I'm just trying to tell you because I love you." Comments.

his lecture started like this: "You know I hare Fat. But you should be realistic with yourself and dress to your body size/shape" and it just got worse from there. Apparently, I dress like "a mom" and am frumpy all the time, I should just accept the I'm "fat" and buy more clothes to fit me.... yet, when I do attempt to buy clothes this is the man eho questions if it'll fit in a month. Then he goes on about how I need to wear makeup and how when I do I will look "hotter".... then he pointed out a tall, thin, model-type woman, dressed to the nines, wearing stilletos and looking like she's about to walk out on a runway and says, "I wish you'd dress like that."

Yes, I've put on some weight since my accident, but not much really. I'm working to get it off noe that I have been given the go ahead from my doctor. However, my style has NOT changed since the day we met! I have always rarely worn makeup, and then mostky for special occasions. I have always worn comfortable clothes and shoes, if it's uncomfortable I'm not buying it! I have had from very short to very long hair because I donate it every 2 years or so. But it's always a simple style, when it's long its always in a ponytail- unless it's a special occasion.

Why do I need to change now? And seriously? I'm not FAT!

I dont know what to do, or what to say. I was beteeen tears and anger in the mall during his lecture and now ime mostly just mad! Does he really think I need to CHANGE? Why? ? Why can't I just be the me he's known for 9 years and married to for 8?

what do I do? I'm so lost you guys!
"
by on Jan. 2, 2014 at 5:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MumsTheWord571
by Member on Jan. 2, 2014 at 5:27 AM
Ps sorryfor the typos it's 230 am and I'm upset.
Schizomom91
by on Jan. 2, 2014 at 5:28 AM
2 moms liked this
I, being the vindictive person that I am, would give him a lecture on something I want HIM to change and make it as hurtful as possible. Maybe dick size, just tojab at his pride.
ripemango
by Member on Jan. 2, 2014 at 5:31 AM
1 mom liked this

1 If he wanted to encourage you to dress in a way more visually pleasing to him, he did it in the worst possible way.

2 He doesn't seem to care one bit about your feelings

3 new year, new life. he won't get better. dump his ass!


I don't know where the sunbeams end and the starlights begin; it's all a mystery.

BrownEyedGirl86
by Bronze Member on Jan. 2, 2014 at 5:34 AM
Wow I am so sorry fuck him and his condescending attitude.

I would use it as motivation to do this for you. The satisfaction for you when you show him how hot you are go buy yourself new things start going out without him if be a dick right back.
He seems like he is nervous with you loosing weight do whatever reason

I am not sure what accident you are talking about but he shouldn't have said that.


Dh and I had a tough go in July he said it was bc I wasn't taking care of myself. I am so nervous but I am doing things slowly to change he complains now I always wear make up (never used to). But I will be damned if someone makes me feel shitty about myself and I do nothing to change it.
MumsTheWord571
by Member on Jan. 2, 2014 at 5:40 AM
I fell down the stairs and BADLY sprained both ankles in July. I couldn't even put weight on my right foot for 4 weeks! I have torn ligaments and tendons, a fractured metatarsal and a broken big toe.... bad bad injury. I'm lucky I didn't snap both ankles! I landed badly! I'm still wearing an ankle brace, special shoes and arch support every day, and still experience mild discomfort to outright pain in both feet daily.

Quoting BrownEyedGirl86: Wow I am so sorry fuck him and his condescending attitude.



I would use it as motivation to do this for you. The satisfaction for you when you show him how hot you are go buy yourself new things start going out without him if be a dick right back.

He seems like he is nervous with you loosing weight do whatever reason



I am not sure what accident you are talking about but he shouldn't have said that.





Dh and I had a tough go in July he said it was bc I wasn't taking care of myself. I am so nervous but I am doing things slowly to change he complains now I always wear make up (never used to). But I will be damned if someone makes me feel shitty about myself and I do nothing to change it.

BrownEyedGirl86
by Bronze Member on Jan. 2, 2014 at 5:42 AM
Oh dear I'm sorry it sounds painful!!!!
I hope you feel better soon.

Have you tried yoga?? I think I'm going to start w yoga personally


Quoting MumsTheWord571: I fell down the stairs and BADLY sprained both ankles in July. I couldn't even put weight on my right foot for 4 weeks! I have torn ligaments and tendons, a fractured metatarsal and a broken big toe.... bad bad injury. I'm lucky I didn't snap both ankles! I landed badly! I'm still wearing an ankle brace, special shoes and arch support every day, and still experience mild discomfort to outright pain in both feet daily.



Quoting BrownEyedGirl86: Wow I am so sorry fuck him and his condescending attitude.





I would use it as motivation to do this for you. The satisfaction for you when you show him how hot you are go buy yourself new things start going out without him if be a dick right back.


He seems like he is nervous with you loosing weight do whatever reason





I am not sure what accident you are talking about but he shouldn't have said that.








Dh and I had a tough go in July he said it was bc I wasn't taking care of myself. I am so nervous but I am doing things slowly to change he complains now I always wear make up (never used to). But I will be damned if someone makes me feel shitty about myself and I do nothing to change it.


MumsTheWord571
by Member on Jan. 2, 2014 at 5:45 AM
I've considered it. Trying to catch a beginners class at my gym that isn't packed or at an awkward time has been tough.

Quoting BrownEyedGirl86: Oh dear I'm sorry it sounds painful!!!!

I hope you feel better soon.



Have you tried yoga?? I think I'm going to start w yoga personally




Quoting MumsTheWord571: I fell down the stairs and BADLY sprained both ankles in July. I couldn't even put weight on my right foot for 4 weeks! I have torn ligaments and tendons, a fractured metatarsal and a broken big toe.... bad bad injury. I'm lucky I didn't snap both ankles! I landed badly! I'm still wearing an ankle brace, special shoes and arch support every day, and still experience mild discomfort to outright pain in both feet daily.





Quoting BrownEyedGirl86: Wow I am so sorry fuck him and his condescending attitude.







I would use it as motivation to do this for you. The satisfaction for you when you show him how hot you are go buy yourself new things start going out without him if be a dick right back.



He seems like he is nervous with you loosing weight do whatever reason







I am not sure what accident you are talking about but he shouldn't have said that.











Dh and I had a tough go in July he said it was bc I wasn't taking care of myself. I am so nervous but I am doing things slowly to change he complains now I always wear make up (never used to). But I will be damned if someone makes me feel shitty about myself and I do nothing to change it.



audmom1218
by Bronze Member on Jan. 2, 2014 at 6:00 AM
Wow! That's an offense punishable by a week (minimum) of sleeping in the garage! Then maybe if he came to his senses and apologized would I consider letting him have a pillow and blanket! It's definitely time for a private conversation about respect, and his view of you. I honestly cannot imagine being married to someone with that little of respect for me. Time to find some inner strength and confront him on his jackass attitude towards you! Good luck mama!
darbyakeep45
by Darby on Jan. 2, 2014 at 6:05 AM
1 mom liked this

Oh mama...big hugs!  I'm sorry you're husband is being such a jerk.  I would have a serious conversation with him about his attitude.  This isn't the way a husband should treat his wife.  

BrownEyedGirl86
by Bronze Member on Jan. 2, 2014 at 6:57 AM
Have you thought about Netflix??? I hate doing classes. So I'm trying it that way myself

Quoting MumsTheWord571: I've considered it. Trying to catch a beginners class at my gym that isn't packed or at an awkward time has been tough.



Quoting BrownEyedGirl86: Oh dear I'm sorry it sounds painful!!!!


I hope you feel better soon.





Have you tried yoga?? I think I'm going to start w yoga personally






Quoting MumsTheWord571: I fell down the stairs and BADLY sprained both ankles in July. I couldn't even put weight on my right foot for 4 weeks! I have torn ligaments and tendons, a fractured metatarsal and a broken big toe.... bad bad injury. I'm lucky I didn't snap both ankles! I landed badly! I'm still wearing an ankle brace, special shoes and arch support every day, and still experience mild discomfort to outright pain in both feet daily.







Quoting BrownEyedGirl86: Wow I am so sorry fuck him and his condescending attitude.









I would use it as motivation to do this for you. The satisfaction for you when you show him how hot you are go buy yourself new things start going out without him if be a dick right back.




He seems like he is nervous with you loosing weight do whatever reason









I am not sure what accident you are talking about but he shouldn't have said that.














Dh and I had a tough go in July he said it was bc I wasn't taking care of myself. I am so nervous but I am doing things slowly to change he complains now I always wear make up (never used to). But I will be damned if someone makes me feel shitty about myself and I do nothing to change it.




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