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Posted by on Aug. 8, 2014 at 4:18 AM
  • 7 Replies

 hi, my name is cheyanne. i live in southern california (riverside) i am 21 years old. i really havent came into this group, but ive been a member for some time now. i want to lose weight. but something is holding me back from trying. i have two children, ds will be 3 in october, and dd who will be 1 in november.

i am aproximately 210 pounds right now, i am 5'3". i feel so ugly. i feel so good in something and then i look in the mirror again and see how i really look and i just feel ugly again. i want to lose 50 lbs at least, if i can be 160 lbs that would be amazing. that was my pre pregnancy weight before i got pregnant with my son. but even then i was trying to loose weight. i knew i was over weight and i wanted to be at the weight that was right for my body. ideally i would like to be at 120-130. shoot 140 wouldnt be that bad.

i have all these intentions to do something about it but.. i just dont. or i start and i just stop. i feel like i have the motivation, i have the inspiration, im lacking drive. it also makes it harder that we live with my in laws and my mil is the one who cooks. i cook occasionally but she loves to cook for her family (shes mexican so can you imagine what we eat a lot of...). by the time we are done paying our bills and rent (rent is weekly) and buy everything we need for the kids and household.. we dont have much to buy household groceries. (in laws are great with this please no bashing).

i think deep down i feel a bit scared. whats going to happen if i do loose all this weight. i am a dd cup right now, i have always had big boobs. they are me. even when i was a skinny minnie. i had big boobs. im scared that loosing weight i will loose my boobs. im scared i will be flabby. i havent been able to wear a bikini since.. the summer after 7th grade because my boobs were too big for my parents to be comfortable with me and my age and boob size. i want so bad to be able to wear a two piece again. you know a correctly fitting bikini of some sort. but im scared that i will be flabby and i still wont look good. its so cal i want to be comfortable at the beach again!

making plans about going to the beach makes me want to cry because i have nothing to wear. i get so self cautious. going clothes shopping actually brings me to tears, i hadnt worn an actual pair of jeans since january 2011 when i was pregnant with my son. i didnt know my jean size and didnt want to know how big of a size i needed.. just a couple months ago around easter i was suprised by my bf with a couple pairs of jeans because i was finally down to a size 18. but i feel like i have gained weight because my pants arent fitting like they used to.

i dont know what to do. i hate my body and even though my bf loves me and my body he tells me i need to do something about my weight because im so miserable about it. i critisize myself all the time and he is saying that i do so so much that he is starting to see what i am saying. i used to be so confidant with myself. now i have like no self confidance... im a mess.

by on Aug. 8, 2014 at 4:18 AM
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by on Aug. 8, 2014 at 4:28 AM
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ah, weight is always a bitch for mommas ain't it? but you DO know what to do, ya just gotta DO it. and yup that's the hard part i know. don't you worry about losing your boobs. i'm a big boob bitch myself. and ya know what? even if you lose a lil bit of them? so many times big boobs make ya look bigger. and they hurt your back anyways. it's hard, it's a bitch! but this IS something you CAN do for yourself. don't think about it like you're gettin sezzy, think about it like you are getting GREAT health back. for you and your kids. not your looks. and since your bf loves you so much? for him too. he wants you to be healthy! i know it sux ass especially when the 'chef' of the house cooks yummy stuff. but you can get yourself happy again if you cook for yourself......... keep your chin up, be so glad your bf wants you around! and do what you must to be healthy and more importantly, happy again! you tc, and remember you are loved! ok?

by Darby on Aug. 8, 2014 at 4:48 AM

Welcome and hugs mama!  You can do this...take things one day at a time and go from there.  Make a list of all the reasons why you want to lose weight and get healthy...remind yourself of that list every day and carry it with you.  Focus on your food...fruits, veggies, lean protein, whole grains, little to no processed food.  Drink half your body weight in ounces of water each can do this!

by Member on Aug. 8, 2014 at 4:59 AM
Welcome! I'm in San Diego and I'm 23!! Maybe find a picture of a cute outfit and use that for your motivation!. Good luck mama you can do it
by on Aug. 8, 2014 at 8:20 AM
Hugs! Take baby steps..start by drinking 8 glasses of water and eating healthy. Do some form of exercise, even if it is only 10-15 minutes. Once you get used to it, set a routine and increase your exercise time. It will take time, just be consistent.
by Gold Member on Aug. 9, 2014 at 12:02 AM
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Motivation is all you.  We can be there for you and help you, but until you reach that point where you are DONE- it won't matter much.   Start with little things like drinking water, working out, portion control, more veggies, less soda...whatever. Make daily and weekly goals that you can reach and build on.  Remember this will take time, but you CAN do it!

I have lost 80+ lbs so far, and my DDD's are still DDD's/ DD's   - so don't let that stop you- they aren't always all they are cracked up to be anyway!

good luck, you can do this. One day at a time :)

by on Aug. 9, 2014 at 8:21 AM

make a list of things you love about yourself.  Have your BF add to it.  See yourself through his eyes, admit you ARE beautiful as you are, and then decide to lose weight for your health, not just for beauty reasons.

Look for a few extra dollars to get yourself ingredients for salads every week.  You may not be able to change your diet, but maybe you can change portion sizes.  Run and dance and play harder with your kids...don't just watch them play.  SMILE!  it will change your attitude! 

by Casey on Aug. 9, 2014 at 9:06 AM

Your boobs are who you are? Really, that is your entire identity? That's all you got? They define you, so much so, that you are afraid to lose weight and get healthy because you *might* lose them? 

Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds?

So, what is really holding you back, because that can't possibly be it? What is really going on with you?

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