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joke that went bad maybe??

Posted by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 10:06 AM
  • 8 Replies

when my boyfriends kids come over sometimee say jokes. all the time there saying im chunky or fat and sometimes ill say back your chunky too as a joke. well found out that they told there grandmother that i called them fat when i never actully said that word. we joke all the time about it even tha father does cause the kids always say it but now realize three going home and saying were saying bad stuff. so now the grandmother is pissed and doesnt want the father to pick up his kids today. am i misundertsanding something or something i should have never said? the kids father told her today how i never said that the kids were fat but how we joked around with each other all the time. i guess i need to be careful what i say. i have two kids that say things like that and i dont get mad cause i know i am chunky lol i dont think the grandmother lkes me anyway.

by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 10:06 AM
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Replies (1-8):
5kidzzz
by Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 11:31 AM
4 moms liked this

I don't see how joking about weight is funny or setting a healthy body image for the children. I think you are wrong for letting them joke like that and it's even worse that you do it back.

Think of it this way, what happens when they say that to someone who doesn't see it as funny?

jendawn1
by Ruby Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 12:00 PM
I agree with 5kidzzz. My daughter use to say my tummy was fat. I put a stop to it. Yes she over herd me saying it and thought it was a joke. Yes I have realized what I say about my body effects her.
I would apologize to the grandmother and the kids and move on.
Gl
M4LG5
by Bronze Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 12:05 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm not fond of any weight jokes but I also understand the joking around. My cousins on my dad's side is all about put downs in a joking way. ..in all different ways. In our family, if you are willing to serve it. ..you better be willing to receive it.
michiganmom116
by Rhonda on Dec. 28, 2014 at 12:25 PM

I agree....I don't tolerate any weight jokes in my family even if a person is "chunky".  A person may laugh with you but inside feel crushed if they have self esteem issues.  Jokes like that are off limits.

I would apologize, then don't allow any more joking like that when the kids are with you.

krystaal870
by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 12:52 PM
I agree about everything that stuff doesn't bother me cause I know I have a tummy I just never thought of it that way sonde they all laughed about it I don't think cared much at all it bothered me more and I should have let it go instead of making it a big scene. But if that's the case the grandmother should have told me bf the issue but she didn't so we didn't know.
krystaal870
by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 12:54 PM
Also the oldest is always calling the middle child fat and that she over eats and we get on her all the time and she's the one that told. She says it all the time! But she always tells me that the grandmother never gets on her so idk
mybratsmom
by Bronze Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 1:25 PM
2 moms liked this
I grew up in a culture where kids are called "feo" (ugly), "gordo" (fatty), etc. But, when my daughter was born, I made certain that if anyone had any names to place on my kids, it was not negative. I don't want that kind of stigma on them. Change the cycle, you know?? You're the adult - not these kids. Step up and apologize and tell them you realize that while it may have seemed in fun, you realize that the jokes could be hurtful, and from now on, won't be tolerated. I know being a parent is hard, we all make mistakes - but it's important to show our kids that we can admit our faults and overcome them.
krystaal870
by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 3:43 PM

 

Quoting 5kidzzz:

I don't see how joking about weight is funny or setting a healthy body image for the children. I think you are wrong for letting them joke like that and it's even worse that you do it back.

Think of it this way, what happens when they say that to someone who doesn't see it as funny?

 i agree. Theres more to it then im telling. its hard when they arent my kids cause im not aloud to tell them what to do and if so i get the comments back that they dont have to listen to me cause im not there mom. i think i get irritated a bit about the whole situation. my kids for instance the 2 younger girls get into trouble if they said my kids are there brothers. so bacially everything my household does is wrong but they are right all the time and thats completely not fair to anyone. thats why i didnt think it was an issue till now. and my boyfriend caught his daughter in a lie anyway by who told and when she gets mad she likes to make things up. They dont live with there mother cause she basiucally gave them go the grandmother.i know i ofill bad after thinking about the chubby jokes and it is wrong but kids shouldnt be able to say it neither and need to learn how to respect the adults. but when they are told they are able to do whatever they want, what can i say?

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