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Just want to give up.... Update

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:35 PM
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on my marriage its so hard! I know its not a choice but I feel lost! He is a great guy but we are two very different people! Its hard to get along, sorry just needed to vent! Any advice ladies would be great! Going to pray to Jehovah for help and direction!

Hey ladies just wanted to update yall! My husband and I are doing much better no more Iphone after the kids go to bed. We are preparing for the meetings together and talking more it really has help! I prayed and prayed and Jehovah has answered my prayers. Thank you sisters for all your advice love you all!

by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
snowpeasmom
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:20 PM
Is he a witness?
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Patience909
by Moderator on Mar. 29, 2011 at 9:56 AM

he is studing and going to all the meetings

onix
by on Mar. 29, 2011 at 10:29 AM

I wish I had advice for you but I'm going through the same thing.  For me, it's not about the love, the love is always there, but it's all the other stupid stuff and pride.  DH is not a JW and probably never will be.  I can't say I'm fine with it but I knew that going into the marriage.  As long as he doesn't stop me from training the girls. 

In today's world, so much is attacking our marriages, and if you are a follower of Jah then Satan really hits you.  Are the issues one sided or on both sides?  Can you both work on 1 thing a week?  How much alone time do you have?  Are you able to study for the meetings together?  Just some ideas that I'm throwing out. 

When you come up with a solution, please let me know, lol.  And just because you are a witness, doesn't mean that your marriage will be easy.  My uncle and his wife love each other dearly, but if they weren't witness' then they wouldn't be together.

Patience909
by Moderator on Mar. 29, 2011 at 11:12 AM

Thank you and if we werent trying to do whats right in Jehovahs eyes we wouldnt be together at all. I love him but we dont agree on anything and we are both very stubborn! Maybe I will try studing together! He is always on his iphone when we have alone! Since he is on his iphone get on the computer but I really want spend time together! If I could I would so break his iphone!

MoB.Monk
by on Mar. 29, 2011 at 11:24 AM
My only piece of advice would be communicate.

Does he know you are unhappy? Does he know why? Do you know why?

I have only been married for 7 years, a short time in most peoples eyes, but communication has been HUGE for us. Don't lay blame, don't get angry; simply point out what you have problems with - such as him being on his phone all the time - and see if y'all can come to an agreement. Maybe y'all just need a weekend away to reconnect...

I suppose I'm kind of rambling, I really wish I could help... Be strong, communicate with him.. Maybe rekindle the love... Run him a hot bubble bath, candles, low light (if possible) and maybe a back massage... Something little, let him know you still love him and you are trying :-)

Best of luck to you, really.
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Dlneal
by on Mar. 29, 2011 at 11:45 AM

Satan is working on our weekness in this time of the end, and marriage is a big one. My husband and I have been married for almost 16 years and he is an unbeliever. We have always had great communication. That is the key to our marriage. And because of that, we are best friends. Whenever we see couples break up, it's always because there was lack of communication. Talk TO each other. Don't talk AT each other. There is a huge difference.

PRAY, PRAY, PRAY! and then PRAY AGAIN!. And pray together. That is huge. I am always encouraged when I hear others unbelieving mates are studying. It gives me tremendous hope. Always rely on Jah and he will sustain you. The closer you get to Jah TOGETHER the closer you will be to each other. And remember, it's a two way street! It is hard for some people to admit mistakes or that they aren't wrong, so be gentle. Remember the old adage? "You catch more bees with honey!" I love that and try to follow that when dealing with things.

I hope this has helped encourage you because I know you have encouraged me just by the fact that you sincerely WANT to make it work with your husband. So many don't even care anymore.

With Sisterly Love!

onix
by on Mar. 29, 2011 at 11:57 AM

Stupid technology.  DH is always on his phone too.  And communication is important.  Do you know how he was raised?  Here's an example:

DH will be in a room with the kids, on his phone, and I ask him to interact with them.  He says he's there chilin with them.  Before I would get mad, but 1 time I asked if this is how his parents interacted with him, just sitting in the same room but each doing thier own thing.  He said yes.  Now in my family it was the complete opposite.  If we were in a room together we either interacted with each other or we were watching TV.  And that opened my eyes. 

Patience909
by Moderator on Mar. 29, 2011 at 4:27 PM

Thank you all so much sisters I am so happy I came to yall! I will take in all of the advice and apply them to my relationship! I love you all!

MoB.Monk
by on Mar. 29, 2011 at 4:34 PM
Best of luck to you!!!! Please let us know what works for y'all to become closer, another view is ALWAYS good when we have hard times. What helps you this time may help another of us the next time! :-)

Quoting Patience909:

Thank you all so much sisters I am so happy I came to yall! I will take in all of the advice and apply them to my relationship! I love you all!

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momcat437
by on Mar. 29, 2011 at 8:40 PM

 My husband and I had some serious issues a few years back--we almost broke up--but we finally agreed to counseling with one of the elders--the congregation overseer, actually--and it did a world of good!  He made us realize that we were both trying to be right, and neither of us was looking at the big picture.  I would strongly advise you to talk to the elders and see what they suggest--sometimes you just can't do it alone!  And always remember that Jehovah is right behind you all the way!!

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