Question about what to allow in a relationship?
I hope im writing this in the right section. Ok, I have been with my boyfriend for about 9 months now. I told him before we even became an item that I do not like xxx websites, or movies. I feel like it is cheating when you are in a relationship.
Well, about 4 months id say into the relationship, I was using his phone which had T9 on it, i was gonna go on my facebook, but when I typed W to start the www. a xxx website came up. I confronted him, he was hesitant at first but then came clean. Explained when he did it and why, he saw how hurt that i got on it and promised to not do it again.
A month or so ago from today I noticed he start acting funny around his phone, real jumpy. So a few days ago i did what i never wanted to do but look through his web history. I found another xxx site. I confronted him, he swore up and down that he didnt do it, but couldnt tell me how it ended up in his browsing history.
Around the time the site showed up on his phone, he had a friend take his phone to show him a website for free wallpapers and such. My boyfriend said it must have been his friend that looked on it. He texted him, by seeing him text his friend I decided to believe him that he didn't go to that site on his own.
HOWEVER lol, the text just asked if his friend looked at porn on his phone, his friend replied 15 mins later saying ya. Then they stopped texting til the next day. All seems well, however it is weird how his friend just said ya, then they left it at that. His friends girlfriend is a friend of mine, she said he has not said anything about it. So im starting to think that my boyfriend lied to me, and he actually was the one.
What should I do? Do i confront him again, even though i dropped it before? Or let it go? Any help is good help thanks ladies!
If he's watching porn, he obviously enjoys it and wants to see it, so I don't see how you can stop it - the only way it'll stop is if HE wants to stop himself.
Your choice really is to either accept it, or leave him because of it.
Maybe some of the other ladies here have some advice too. I wish I had something incredibly supportive to say, I can't imagine being stuck in a relationship where someone was into that. But I don't see how it can be stopped if he actually wants to view it, ya know?
i agree w/ Rachel. Personally if it continued, I'd be gone b/c I won't allow that mess in my home around myself or my children.
I agree...
Quoting telecomgirl:If he's watching porn, he obviously enjoys it and wants to see it, so I don't see how you can stop it - the only way it'll stop is if HE wants to stop himself.
Your choice really is to either accept it, or leave him because of it.
Maybe some of the other ladies here have some advice too. I wish I had something incredibly supportive to say, I can't imagine being stuck in a relationship where someone was into that. But I don't see how it can be stopped if he actually wants to view it, ya know?
LOL... The ole "my friend did it not me" excuse is classic when men get caught watching porn. He's not going to stop simply because you are offended by it. He'll just find better ways to hide it. So you need to decide if it's a deal breaker or not.
My advice to you is this: If you are against it, it makes you uncomfortable, and it's just not something you're ok with in your relationship, then that should be it. He should respect you and your feelings and not be looking at it. Simple as that. If he can't respect your feelings and especially if he's dishonest with you...you need to end it with him. He's not the man for you and it doesn't sound like he's the man for anyone. No woman wants a man that disrespects her, lies to her, and sneaks around behind her back. You deserve better than that. That is not how a real man treats his woman.
And I agree with another poster... I would be more concerned with the dishonesty.
You can't make him stop watching it. You can ask him to stop and tell him that you don't like him looking at it, but that doesn't mean he'll stop. You need to decide if you can live with him watching it or if you need to move on.
Quoting Jukebox_Jenny:
I'd be most concerned about the dishonesty. I could not be in a relationship where I couldn't trust.
I completely agree. The dishonesty, in my mind, is way worse than the porn, and I don't allow that in my house either.
There is a rule in our home....
- BathroomWall
on Feb. 16, 2012 at 7:49 PM