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She's gone

Posted by on Mar. 1, 2012 at 4:53 PM
  • 28 Replies

 My aunt passed away today.

 

Last night/Early this morning they did a MRI and found extensive bleeding of the brain and that the spinal cord was severly damaged. They said that she was a vegetable and that there was no hope or chance in her returning to us. Her living will stated that she didn't want to live if there was no hope for her (she's still in a coma and not responsive to talking or touching). So they gave her morphine and pulled the plug. She was still breathing on her own when they pulled the plug and I left not long after that. I couldn't handle the thought of her body fighting for life when it was so clear to look at her and see that she was gone (her tongue was limp and to the side, her head turned and at a slight down angle, no color to her skin).

 

It's so hard. She was my favorite aunt - my role model. She was one of the few good people in this world. Tomorrow will be her viewing, Saturday her funeral. She's going to be buried up at the graveyard next to my house - beside her exhusband (my uncle). At least I'll be able to walk up and visit as I feel the need to.

 

I really just dont understand why. It's so unfair.

by on Mar. 1, 2012 at 4:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
telecomgirl
by on Mar. 1, 2012 at 5:26 PM

Brandy, I am so so sorry ((((extra tight hugs)))))

We're all here for you if you need to vent, talk, or whatever it may be.

Linds2Horse
by Platinum Member on Mar. 1, 2012 at 5:44 PM

I'm so sorry (Hugs)

Just curious, but if she was breathing on her own what did they pull the plug on?  I thought ventilation was the the plug they pulled.

HisSweetheart07
by Platinum Member on Mar. 1, 2012 at 5:48 PM

 I'll probably be on to vent and talk. I still can't get it in my head that I'm not going to see her at the party in 2 weeks. That she's not going to call and ask me how the kids are doing. That I'm not going to get my yearly anniversary card from her, birthday cards, etc...  All those little things that she'd always go out of her way to do to make sure you knew you were loved.

Then I jump straight to anger. Why her? Why could it have been my gma instead? Everyones life would have been easier that way - not joking as mean as that is. It makes me so mad that one of the very few good people in our family was taken. Why couldn't she just wake up and tell us goodbye? Why couldn't she squeeze our hand or let us know in some way that she knew we were there? I know it all seems so shelfish and then I hate myself for thinking about this stuff. I should be happy that she's not in pain and that she's at rest.

Quoting telecomgirl:

Brandy, I am so so sorry ((((extra tight hugs)))))

We're all here for you if you need to vent, talk, or whatever it may be.

 

inmybizz
by Ruby Member on Mar. 1, 2012 at 5:49 PM

I'm so sorry (((hugs)))..

you and your family will be in my thoughts..

HisSweetheart07
by Platinum Member on Mar. 1, 2012 at 5:54 PM

 because in her living will she stated that she didn't want to be on life support if there wasn't a chance of her recovering.

in this case she already had perfuse bleeding in her brain and her spinal cord was severally damaged that the doctors didn't see her recovering so they had to follow her request and pull the ventilators and other life support systems. Morphine was just for her comfort so she'd go without being in pain.

They said it would take up to 2 hours (to allow organs to shut down) but they didn't believe it would take that long with her. I left an hour later and she was still fighting it.

Just looking at her you could see that she was gone. it was just her outershell laying there. :(

Quoting Linds2Horse:

I'm so sorry (Hugs)

Just curious, but if she was breathing on her own what did they pull the plug on?  I thought ventilation was the the plug they pulled.

 

SassyWildflower
by on Mar. 1, 2012 at 5:58 PM
1 mom liked this

so so very sorry :( 

Linds2Horse
by Platinum Member on Mar. 1, 2012 at 6:16 PM


Quoting HisSweetheart07:

 I'll probably be on to vent and talk. I still can't get it in my head that I'm not going to see her at the party in 2 weeks. That she's not going to call and ask me how the kids are doing. That I'm not going to get my yearly anniversary card from her, birthday cards, etc...  All those little things that she'd always go out of her way to do to make sure you knew you were loved.

Then I jump straight to anger. Why her? Why could it have been my gma instead? Everyones life would have been easier that way - not joking as mean as that is. It makes me so mad that one of the very few good people in our family was taken. Why couldn't she just wake up and tell us goodbye? Why couldn't she squeeze our hand or let us know in some way that she knew we were there? I know it all seems so shelfish and then I hate myself for thinking about this stuff. I should be happy that she's not in pain and that she's at rest.

Quoting telecomgirl:

Brandy, I am so so sorry ((((extra tight hugs)))))

We're all here for you if you need to vent, talk, or whatever it may be.

 

You're not being selfish; You love her.  Anger and bargaining are normal parts of the grieving process so your emotions are normal. 

Serenity75
by on Mar. 1, 2012 at 6:45 PM

 I am so so sorry....

im sorry

Jukebox_Jenny
by Jenny on Mar. 1, 2012 at 7:03 PM
I'm sorry!! :-(
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Emmy217
by on Mar. 1, 2012 at 7:18 PM

 So sorry to hear this. You and your family are in my thoughts. :(

 

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