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Followup question: If you're going to break their rules, are you at least going to be honest about it?

Posted by on May. 23, 2012 at 12:37 AM
  • 8 Replies

This is a follow up question from the one I posted earlier about following the other families rules when their kid comes over.  Things like if the other kid isn't allowed to watch television, the television stays off or the other kid isn't allowed sugar, so you don't serve any.  Most families responded that they would respect the wishes of the other family.  My question is directed at the people who had a response like "lighten up.  Spending time with friends is supposed to be fun.  A little (fill in the blank) won't hurt anything.  It's not like they're being served beer."  If you know you're going to let your house run as normal regardless of the other parent's restrictions, are you up front about it?  When Jenny's parents are expalining that they don't want her watching any television, do you smile and nod and let them watch it anyway or do you tell them that your kids have their shows they like to watch and the television will get turned on of they ask for them?  If Johny's parents tell you they don't want him have sugar, do you smile and nod or do you explain that you have a candy bowl in the kitchen that your kids are allowed to snack from and you are't going to tell them no just because Johny isn't supposed to have any?  At least if you are up front with them, they can make an informed decision.  Otherwise you are just lying to them.  



by on May. 23, 2012 at 12:37 AM
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Replies (1-8):
FIREFOX1336
by on May. 23, 2012 at 12:46 AM
So things like that its my house and unless they have a legit health reason I'm not going to follow thier rules like an allergy or diabetes, also if it was their religion I would be respectful, but I would also expect the kid to know those boundaries because I don't know them all. The only time I expect me rules to be followed is if we are visiting someone for a week, and that's simply my kids don't eat chips or candy so I don't expect them to get chips for every snack, yes I would also adjust and let them have some but in moderation. Or if it was something like I don't want my kid playing with guns and your kid had a bb gun I would ask you to put it up, and if you didn't my kid wouldn't be going to your house.
Jukebox_Jenny
by on May. 23, 2012 at 5:15 AM
I won't lie about it.
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QuiltLover
by Jocelynn on May. 23, 2012 at 6:55 AM

First, I would not "break the rules" and if it was something we couldn't adjust for a day or an overnight stay, I just wouldn't have them over.

psych_mom
by on May. 23, 2012 at 8:50 AM
I would be honest about it, but so far we haven't had an issue.
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rocamom
by on May. 23, 2012 at 8:55 AM

Before a playdate I usually tell the mom what I have planned and if they don't object to my plans then I just GO FOR IT..  I haven't had a mom object because most of the moms I hang out with agree that playdates are meant to be fun.   They also know if it's sunny we will be outside but if it's raining it's movie & game time. 

If I know the mom has a NO tv policy I would be OPEN and HONEST that I let them watch a little tv or that I gave them a cookie if not junk policy..  I thank my lucky starts I don't hang with moms that are super picky about this stuff.. 

If you are concerned with a mom getting upset with you then my advice would be to openly discuss your plans for that time with the other mom..  If they want to be in control of your time then maybe you should have your child just go to their house :) :)  If you want to make sure YOUR child doesn't watch tv at someone else's house then I would talk openly with that mom and maybe having kids at your house is best.

GOOD LUCK!

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by on May. 23, 2012 at 9:14 AM

Definitely be honest ;)


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inmybizz
by Ruby Member on May. 23, 2012 at 10:06 AM

I wouldn't lie to the parent..I wouldn't want a parent to lie to me when i drop my child off at their place..Again, a few hrs of not being able to do something is not going to kill us..

HisSweetheart07
by Platinum Member on May. 23, 2012 at 10:49 AM

 I agree. If we couldn't adjust for the short time of having them, then we wouldn't have them over.

Quoting QuiltLover:

First, I would not "break the rules" and if it was something we couldn't adjust for a day or an overnight stay, I just wouldn't have them over.

 

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