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being bullied by adult stepdaughters please help

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    I have 2 stepdaughters. 1 is 17 and 21 they have been really stressing me out lately. my husband travels and my 21 year old and step-son-in-law are moving in and they have a baby.they both are being backstabbers, for example, they expect me to give them rides everywhere, they are rude, disrespectful, they all plot against me,to make me angry my husband doesn't see it so he doesnt believe me. this has been a battle for a long time. they say things to me that are disrespectful to see my reactions, i am sensitive so i cry. i need to ignore them and not care what they think but, im not able to. i am a babysitter for all of them. i am a housewife, with immature people living in my house, they are lazy i have tried everything to get them to stop this all of this. I am in counseling to get help. my shrink says to make a decision to go or stay. i am not sure what to do. i am stuck in a situation where i have no control over. my husband and i cant agree or meet in the middle, be on the same page. they treat me like crap. we have tried talking to them and that doesnt work. idk what to do. idk how to explain this into words. i will try. ugh 

 




RONDA L HARKINS

by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 9:28 PM
Replies (21-24):
luvmykids1613
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 11:08 AM
Bryan [ my husband] says he is always going to help out his daughters,we are paying their rent, their food, he says it is cheaper for them to live here so he doesn't have to pay. I said but i am disrespected, he said, well, if i see it i will put a stop to it. so, she does it behind his back. she tells him, Ronda has a problem daddy, you deserve better, I didn't do anything to her, she does this all the time. she needs to get help bad. I 'm in counseling and she knows it. so, she is trying everything she can to break us up. we have been married for 10 years. I am still friends with my guyfriends. she is doing this to control me. I am not going to let her. I told him what she is doing and I am still being friends with them. I am sorry if I am hurting you, I am not trying to. but, you are hurting me to by not believing me for what she does. I understand she is your daughter and I am not saying for you not to help her out. he said so your parents didn't help you out financially, I said that's different, he said, how ? I said, I wasn't turning my dad against my mom to get what I wanted. I am sorry, she is 2faced, she is self-centered, acts like a spoiled brat. he said I don't like you talking to them, I asked you to stop talking to them and you won't, they are friends and nothing more, one is 20 years old, that's just gross, I hav friends of all ages. I feel very controlled. I have put in apps for jobs online, one involves travel, I get lost easily and have sleep issues and take lunesta for it, so, that will be interesting. i will figure it out. I'm tired of it. I am thinking of leaving him. I lost it and yelled at him a while back. I said, if you can't believe me and be on my side. He said, he is on all 3 of our sides, he agrees with me when he is around me and with her when he is around her. Im confused. they aren't moving in yet. i said please dont let them move in, they treat me like crap, they take advantage of me, rides, food, stuff for the baby, they know how to manipulate me to get what they want. it works. they whisper about me when Im in the room, say watch this and say stuff to hurt me, the list goes on aand on. my shrink told me to get a job to financially support myself, save up money and get the hell out. just go when noone is there. my parents live nearby. my mom will go with me to counseling today I will let u know how it went. I have to figure out what to do. this has to stop she is still doing more. she has involved a friend of mine, she said she is concrned about our marriage and she doen't like him talking to me. trust me, she is a lying piece of crap, she is a bitch, sorry but, it is true her mom is the master at all this. she said how her mom treats her like crap, how she did stuff, she complains about stuff that he does it all the time.she cut her mom out of life for stuff that she does too. i dont get it. but, IM DONE!! ::'( :;'(
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Mommynay2
by on Jul. 11, 2012 at 4:23 PM
You should start saving for a place and you and your 21 year old should move in together. Because his kids aren't treating you right and you are getting stressed out. And if you are in counseling and seeing a psychiatrist then you have other things going on for you. I have a counselor and psychiatrist also and I don't function well in a stressful environment. I think you should try to have a family meeting and say right in front of everyone the truth with what's going on. And let them know you aren't a built in babysitter or a taxi driver. And say no to them. I feel bad for you pm me anytime. Take care.
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precious281
by on Jul. 12, 2012 at 12:13 AM

I definitely understand your situation. Mine is somewhat similiar, only I am dealing with a stepdaughter and her boyfriend. It has taken a long time for my husband to even notice the way I have been treated. : ( At first he actually sided with the boyfriend... I have been laughed at, given dirty looks, ignored and treated as if I am not a part of the family. I stand my ground, but having to constantly defend myself, in my own home is tiring and frustrating. All I can say, is just keep fighting back. I know it can get hard, since I have found these types of people go after the sensitive and those who are alone. Try not to cry in front of them. Don't let them win. They are on a power trip and want to run the show. If your husband don't see eye to eye with you maybe you should try marriage counselling. You are his wife, not a doormate for his spoiled brats...

MBPeaceful12, You are sooo right-- We all do have pieces of work for stepchildren!

Stay Strong!

luvmykids1613
by on Jul. 16, 2012 at 2:26 PM
I am exactly in that position you are in. I am in counseling. my mom goes with me.I just want to give up and divorce him and go live alone so noone can hurt me. my shrink said we are raising brats and they are bullies. she gave me suggestions, for ex, when they say a comment, YELL, STOP!!!!! GO AWAY!!!! AND IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE RUDE SAY IT IN FRONT OF YOUR DAD. I said that before, it didn't work. It is hard because she doesn't know them. she needs to observe them.he defended me like crazy. he paid child support for 10 years. he feels guilty, so, we provide for 2 households just like when they were kids. we are walking atms. it is awful i feel like we have problems out of my control. I am trying to hang in there. I would leave but, I need him financially and I am on anti-depressants cuz of them and the ex-wife. so i need the insurance.I am applying for jobs to get away from the situation. so, maybe that will help. thanks for listening and caring about me.
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