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FOUND OUT MY HUSBAND IS BI....

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I don't know what to do? I got married in 2001. 10 yrs of marriage has gone down the drain and we have a 8 yr old girl and a 11 month old baby boy. I seen the pixs & videos sent to him on his cell of naked man. I holding my self together for my 2 children.
I don't know what to do.....I been pretending that everything is good for the sake of my children but this thing is consuming me. I have nothing agaisnt gay people. I talk to them but to have a Bi husband its another story....
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by on Aug. 21, 2012 at 1:11 PM
Replies (21-30):
Sheepy
by on Aug. 22, 2012 at 12:52 PM

Wow...I really wish what i knew to say to you hun.I can only imagine the heartbreak and somewhat of a strange sickness feeling i would be getting if it were my BF. (sorry,just being honest on what i would feel)
I hope things get better for you

rebeccasmly
by on Aug. 22, 2012 at 12:54 PM
I think you need to have a talk witeyour husband. A non-accusatory talk. It could be innocent. He could be curious. But based off the information provided, I don't see marriage ending yet.
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inmybizz
by Ruby Member on Aug. 22, 2012 at 1:20 PM

really!?!?!?  :(

beside she didn't provide enough info.. We don't know what's REALLY going on.

 

Quoting Jukebox_Jenny:

Seriously? He has a naked photo so he must have an STD? ::scratches head::

Quoting mamamiajk:

I would have myself tested  ASAP for any and all sexual diseases. Are u sure he's not just plain gay? There is a difference as you well know. I feel for you....I would be devasted if I were in your position.hugs


Threes.Company
by on Aug. 22, 2012 at 1:30 PM

I am sorry to hear that.  I have no advice to give.  I have no idea what I would do in a situation like that.

msguzman
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 8:45 PM
He has taken pixs of his private part & seen it on his cell, he has reply to them as a lover does, he has been coming home 1 hour late, he spends his time on the cell phone than on his children or me. He tells me he just talks them because its fun & because when he is bored he talks to them. He denies the fact that he ain't having any type of relationship with them & just talks to them because his bored.

He tells me he has this type of feeling that he likes guys but never had a real contact relatioship with a man... that's what he says. He had a bad experience when he was 8 yrs old. Agaisnt his own will. So, he suppostly confused he says. I believe the fact is that he can't stand the fact that he might lose his children custody if he admits who he is.

I had a talk with him & I told him I wont prevent him by seing the children. That is was better to get a divorce. I can't stand the fact of what he is doing that looking at man nude pixs & videos not from a video store but from other man. He don't even touch me & we don't even make love for 6 months to a year. He don't even tries to pull a move on me. I feel that I am the man in the relationship & his the woman. Thats what I tell him. So now, I ask u if that sounds like his totally gay to u.
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Linds2Horse
by Platinum Member on Aug. 24, 2012 at 12:25 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't think he knows himself so how can we speculate.  Did he tell you he will stop?  If he didn't than this is something he feel he needs to explore. You need to decide if you want to give him the space to explore or if you want to divorce. That is a personal decision that only you can make.

msguzman
by on Aug. 24, 2012 at 7:49 AM
I have given the opportunity to explore and couldn't stand the he fact that when he did he got turned on by it. But he felt weird about it he said. He said that before something happed he stopped it suppostly. It is a good advice and I thank u. As much as it hurts me I need to let him go and I did asked him for a divorce. OMG! My tears are coming out. I just can't believe it that my marriage was all a lie. I just wished he would of told me before I married him. 8 years as boyfriend & girlfriend & 10 years of marriege since 2001. But I do thank Jesus Christ that is 2 things that came out of this marriage and that is my children. Thank u so much. God bless u.
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rocamom
by Platinum Member on Aug. 24, 2012 at 8:03 AM

I think if you follow your heart in the end the right decision will happen..  I think if you and him can get a drivorce and are still able to co-parent together then that's better than living in a relationship where neither of you are happy..  (((HUGS)))  I can't imagine that this decision came easily or lightly and I'm sure the process will NOT be easy but to me it sounds like it's the best for you, your kids, and your husband.

GOOD LUCK with everything..

Quoting msguzman:

I have given the opportunity to explore and couldn't stand the he fact that when he did he got turned on by it. But he felt weird about it he said. He said that before something happed he stopped it suppostly. It is a good advice and I thank u. As much as it hurts me I need to let him go and I did asked him for a divorce. OMG! My tears are coming out. I just can't believe it that my marriage was all a lie. I just wished he would of told me before I married him. 8 years as boyfriend & girlfriend & 10 years of marriege since 2001. But I do thank Jesus Christ that is 2 things that came out of this marriage and that is my children. Thank u so much. God bless u.


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momjen850
by on Aug. 24, 2012 at 9:03 AM

maybe he is just bi courious that could be why the pics are there maybe he hasnt acted out on them and as far as 10 years down the drain thats not true at all esp if they have been good years for you and you have 2 wonderful kids from this marrige so dont look at it like that .I wish you all the luck in what ever you decide to do but i would ask about the pics and give him achance to defend hiself :) 

Angela4boys
by Angela on Aug. 24, 2012 at 9:09 AM

I'm very sorry you are going through this.  Just know that if he is Gay, it is nothing you did, and nothing you could have done...it's just who he is.  And also, that I'm sure he never meant to hurt you, or the kids, I'm sure he loves you guys.  Sometimes people deny who they are, to try to be what society thinks they should be.  Hang in there mama, sending prayers your way.  (((hugs)))

Quoting msguzman:

I have given the opportunity to explore and couldn't stand the he fact that when he did he got turned on by it. But he felt weird about it he said. He said that before something happed he stopped it suppostly. It is a good advice and I thank u. As much as it hurts me I need to let him go and I did asked him for a divorce. OMG! My tears are coming out. I just can't believe it that my marriage was all a lie. I just wished he would of told me before I married him. 8 years as boyfriend & girlfriend & 10 years of marriege since 2001. But I do thank Jesus Christ that is 2 things that came out of this marriage and that is my children. Thank u so much. God bless u.


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