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a little torn :(

Posted by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:54 PM
  • 5 Replies
I'm so torn about my kids. I am so very proud of dd3 (21 months) because she is so advanced. It's kinda scary how far ahead of others her age she is. I didn't really think it was so much until spending time with my cousins and their kids (ages 24 months and 20 months) and some friends kids (ages 19 months, 20 months and 22 months) the things they do, she was doing at 12 months. Once I started thinking about it I realized she's at the same level, even more advanced in areas, than dd2, who is going to be 3 next month. That's where it gets sticky. Dd2 is not slow, she's even at the high end of normal! I'm so worried that she'll feel like there's something wrong with her once they are in school. I want to encourage dd3 to push herself, not get bored, learn all she can, but how would dd2 feel if dd3 passed her in grade levels? How do I deal with both of their feelings and needs? I don't want to hold dd3 back to spare dd2s feelings, but I just want to cry thinking of dd2 thinking that she's not smart or not as "good" as her sister. :(
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by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:54 PM
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psych_mom
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 6:11 PM
1 mom liked this
I have a very gifted middle child so I know how you feel. My other 2 kids are extremelysmart but middle kid is genus level intelligence. I deal with this by focusing on their strengths and encouraging them to do well in all that they do. I tell them we're all different and are all good at different things.
Don't hold one back whatever you do. My teachers wanted me to skip a grade and be put into the gifted program and my mom refused. I feel that I would have done better in school because I wouldn't have been so bored all the time. Let her enjoy learning by keeping her challenged.
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inmybizz
by Ruby Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 6:17 PM
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I would just explain that we are all different(not better).. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it- children usually pick up on things adults worry about..

3cutiebugs
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 6:32 PM
I also got really bored in school and ended up dropping out in 9 th grade because it wasn't a challenge. I don't want that to happen to my kids. I went on to get my ged and start college when I was 16, but it wasn't the right way to go about it.
Thanks for the info! My oldest is also advanced, but I never had to deal with other kids in the mix since she is much older than her sisters.


Quoting psych_mom:

I have a very gifted middle child so I know how you feel. My other 2 kids are extremelysmart but middle kid is genus level intelligence. I deal with this by focusing on their strengths and encouraging them to do well in all that they do. I tell them we're all different and are all good at different things.

Don't hold one back whatever you do. My teachers wanted me to skip a grade and be put into the gifted program and my mom refused. I feel that I would have done better in school because I wouldn't have been so bored all the time. Let her enjoy learning by keeping her challenged.
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3cutiebugs
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 6:34 PM
Thanks :) I try not to make a big deal, but all of this is just making my head spin lately, since we have to do preschool sign ups soon and I really think dd3 would thrive in a preschool environment.

Quoting inmybizz:

I would just explain that we are all different(not better).. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it- children usually pick up on things adults worry about..

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by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 12:03 AM

Keep encouraging both,
Focus on how well they each have their strengths .. do not hold your other one back :)

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