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Can't stop yelling at my 4 yr old son!

Posted by on Apr. 14, 2011 at 11:32 AM
  • 18 Replies

I'm always yelling at him and I feel so bad!, He doesn't listen at all. It's so frustrating I can't stop It's a vicious cycle!....Does every mom yell at their kids?...Or do I have anger issues? I mean he's always screamming b/c he hears me do it....He'll scream ""Mommy wake Up while I'm in a dead sleep in the morning. Scream at me "i'm thirsty" And I try to tell him we don't ask for a drink like that....I don't know what to do like i said it's a vicious cycle...When my husband is home on the weekends it's not so bad because I have extra help. During the week I'm so over whelmed...with a 8 month old and him along with tons of stuff to do.

by on Apr. 14, 2011 at 11:32 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ashleymosq
by on Apr. 14, 2011 at 11:37 AM

I have a 4 yr old little girl and an 8 month old little. My 4yr old has a problem with not wanting to listen as well. She also likes to do things to annoy her sister. She likes to be mean to her sister and hit her sometimes too. I try not to yell at her all the time though. If she does something wrong, I first talk to her calmly. I always try to start out calm. That way it don't seem like everything coming out of my mouth is yells and screams. Sounds like he is yelling because he is used to hearing you yell. I know it can be very frustrating. Something I found that really works with my 4yr old is counting to 3. If she is not wanting to listen I will start counting. Usually she stops what she is doing and does what I tell her by the time I get to 2. She is not as bad as she used to be. But I do understand where you are coming from. Just try to start out calmly. If he continues, try to keep from yelling and move on to whatever punishment you use.

SleepyCupcake
by on Apr. 14, 2011 at 11:41 AM

I've found that medication really helps.  ;)

Single Mama to Ben - 6/9/04, Sophia 4/2/10
Unfit Parenting Blog - Sugar Town
kngarber
by on Apr. 14, 2011 at 11:42 AM

 I have the same problem with my 4 yo. She never listens and it seems like she does things just to be bad. It is very frustrating.

mjp2707
by on Apr. 14, 2011 at 11:44 AM
When I feel myself about to explode I put michael in a time away. I sit him on his bed and walk out. The idea behind this is we are social creatures and we don't want to be excluded from the family unit. It almost always works and if it doesn't I just put him back in again. He choses when he can come out. Also you two must learn mutual respect. They way he is speaking to you is unexceptable, but it sounds like a learned behavior. I know how hard it is but I strongly believe our children will not respect us if we don't respect them. GL I have a almost 4 y/o a 2 y/o and a 6 m/o along with a 3 y/o I babysit and a newborn. I know how trying it can be.
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LoveMyLos
by on Apr. 14, 2011 at 11:47 AM

 mine does the same thing. when he yells and demands things, i tell him the proper way to ask, and then i ignore him until he asks the right way. mine is 5 and he knows better. and yes, im a yeller. lol

 

s.t.e.p.h
by on Apr. 14, 2011 at 12:07 PM

 When you feel yourself getting mad and wanting to yell, you need to put him in a safe place and walk away for a few minutes to collect yourself. He yells because you yell at him...where else would he have learned it? It's always easier to have the help from a second person..I understand what you're saying there.

Is there anyway that your son can help with any of the things that you need to do? What can you do to involve him so you wont be yelling at him?

We're here for you when you need to vent momma!

mommytotwonow
by on Apr. 14, 2011 at 12:35 PM

Watch the super nanny. we do her system of time out and it really works. List hhe house rules, go over them, create a naughty spot, and stick with it!!!! Dont scream anymore it makes them stop listening, i k its hard but if you stay calm it shows him that you are in control.

CoeyG
by on Apr. 14, 2011 at 12:48 PM

Of course he doesn't listen, he is only four years old, he doesn't know how to listen.  You haven't taught him how...all you've done is yell at him, and you've taught him to yell as well.  You first need to stop yelling at him, it's obviously not working.  Start disciiplining him, yelling isn not discipline.  Chose a form of discipline, time outs, granting privlieges for behavior when earned, or as a reward for good behavior while playing down bad behavior.  It really isn't necessary to hit or to yell at a child. 

usmclife58
by on Apr. 14, 2011 at 8:10 PM

Sometimes mommy needs a timeout. So before you yell, stop and count to 10 (being serious). If you are still on the verge of yelling, maybe go in another room. Or make him go to timeout or the corner until he is ready to listen. If he fights you, don't say a word- physically move him to that spot. And be consistent. Eventually he will learn that he has to listen to you without you having to yell.

My daughter does not respond to yelling. But, she gets one warning and then goes to timeout/corner. Every time. I never have to yell. And let me tell you, this child is hard-deaded and sassy.

Good luck!

tericared
by on Apr. 14, 2011 at 8:16 PM


Quoting CoeyG:

Of course he doesn't listen, he is only four years old, he doesn't know how to listen.  You haven't taught him how...all you've done is yell at him, and you've taught him to yell as well.  You first need to stop yelling at him, it's obviously not working.  Start disciiplining him, yelling isn not discipline.  Chose a form of discipline, time outs, granting privlieges for behavior when earned, or as a reward for good behavior while playing down bad behavior.  It really isn't necessary to hit or to yell at a child. 

this......You can change this behavoir, just hang in there.


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