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help my 5 year old is lying

Posted by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 8:49 PM
  • 31 Replies

alot she does it all the time. I have talked to her given her time outs the works really. She just wont stop she is my good girl that's all she does to get in trouble in life. she does it to get out of trouble and put it on her brother it took  me a long time for me to realise what she was doing.  To get something she wants once again it took me awhile . I always thought she is so good all the time why would she lie and i would trust her completely it was not tell i was watching her without her knowing that she smacked her brother and i thought hmmm opportunity here so i asked what happened she said he fell and hurt himself instead i then preceded to tell her i had watched the whole thing i got the guilty eyes. She then stated she will never do that again so i said ok i did not punish. i don't punish on first time she get the talk about it that was 2 years ago and she is still doing it.Now i know in a way she is getting some lies by me and that's why she keeps trying to get them past i catch some but not all of the little white lies. 

so what I'm asking is what do i do to stop her she really is a good girl i love her to death and i don't want to see her get hurt by future lies that could affect her life. like School, College, friendships and  Marriage.

2010 halloween

by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 8:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lynnie_poo
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 8:50 PM

no idea I have the same problem with my  (4yr old) dd

tinkerspell
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 8:52 PM

well at least im not alone 


Number1Chef
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 8:58 PM

 im not sure but heres a bump for you

lynnie_poo
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 8:59 PM

Nope! far from it,and I have no idea what to do she lies to be mischevious.Like juts now she got out of bed to go potty..no big deal right? Well I go in there 5-10 mins later and say are you done she says no! I was like ok so I sat there.She never once pottied.Then I asked her and she said mommy I did potty.Little things like that!

CoeyG
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 11:29 PM

What you should have done was disciplined her the first time she did it.  You gave her the idea that she got away with it so naturally she was bound to do it again.  You taught her nothing other than the first time she gets caught doing something she is going to be let off the hook.  Hopefully she doesn't someday get caught by the police for something. 

Liansmommie
by on Jun. 5, 2011 at 1:29 AM

I wish I had an answer for you. Mine lies but he always confesses right away. He also has a BS voice that is beyond obvious. I don't let him get away with it even when he comes clean but he still does it.

tinkerspell
by on Jun. 5, 2011 at 1:55 AM

look i have done the punish tell why later she don't work that way 99% of the time i can explain why not to do it and i don't have to punish her at all its just this one thing she does and she don't do it 20 times a day.   if i gave her the idea she could get away with things she would be constantly be getting in trouble she is very bright and i can speak with her like a adult about some things like Why she should not do .......this your telling me your perfect daughter was ok with being punish for something she had no idea in the first place geesh she probably was a good girl because she had no idea what would get her in trouble if she tried something new  

Quoting CoeyG:

What you should have done was disciplined her the first time she did it.  You gave her the idea that she got away with it so naturally she was bound to do it again.  You taught her nothing other than the first time she gets caught doing something she is going to be let off the hook.  Hopefully she doesn't someday get caught by the police for something. 


aneela
by on Jun. 5, 2011 at 7:30 AM

bump

Bleacheddecay
by on Jun. 5, 2011 at 11:33 AM

Okay here's what I used to with behavior I found unacceptable in my kids. I'd sit down with them and write out a contract about it. We'd both sign it. If the child was small, they could still pretend to sign it and we'd shake hands.

With small kids you want to give me as many times to succeed as you can with a reward. When they screw up, you want to have consequences but a new slate as soon as possible.

So, you might use stickers for a day, half day or hour of good behavior whichever works for you and your schedule.

For a week you might have a small reward, like baking cookies together or playing a board game.

For a month you might have a picnic or family game night.

Your goal is to break a bad habit and foster a new good habit. To do that you need to keep this going a while. You want at least six weeks of good behavior, several times.

Consequences might be time out for the first offense.

Lost of privileges for the second but just until she demonstrates good behavior for the next part of the day or whatever.

If they are old enough I find writing sentences to really get to them.

Make absolutely certain that the rewards and challenges matter to the child and are ones you will actually give or enforce!

We did this with both of our kids with really great results. You want to keep it positive and when consequences have to happen, don't be emotional with it, just calm.

CoeyG
by on Jun. 5, 2011 at 11:49 AM

 

Quoting tinkerspell:

look i have done the punish tell why later she don't work that way 99% of the time i can explain why not to do it and i don't have to punish her at all its just this one thing she does and she don't do it 20 times a day.   if i gave her the idea she could get away with things she would be constantly be getting in trouble she is very bright and i can speak with her like a adult about some things like Why she should not do .......this your telling me your perfect daughter was ok with being punish for something she had no idea in the first place geesh she probably was a good girl because she had no idea what would get her in trouble if she tried something new  

Quoting CoeyG:

What you should have done was disciplined her the first time she did it.  You gave her the idea that she got away with it so naturally she was bound to do it again.  You taught her nothing other than the first time she gets caught doing something she is going to be let off the hook.  Hopefully she doesn't someday get caught by the police for something. 


 No, my daughter wasn't perfect, but she did get disciplined for things she knew she shouldn't do.

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