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Son out of control in kindergarten!

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:29 AM
  • 2 Replies

My son just started kindergarden, by the 3rd day a note from the teacher was sent home that said..."he thinks he is the boss ansewers back, doesnt follow safey rules on the playground ( goes down the slide head first, climbs up slide) and rolls his eyes at the teacher and is disrespectful towards her...we disapline him, he went to his room for two days with no tv or toys)...so last night was back to school night and the teacher said his behavior has gotten a little better, but still is not following the saftey rules and is still rolling his eyes at her...It's just so embarassing, she said it while the other parents where still in the classroom listening in ahh...I don't know what to do! This is a new school for him and he is still getting used to the bus ride and all new kids...not that i'm making excuses for him...Like i said i don't know what to do, I don't want him to turn out to be disrespectful to authority figures and wind up in trouble with the law as he gets older..( I maybe taking this to extremes but this is my worst case senrio nightmare)....Has anyone gone through this before?...some insight would be more then helpful.....Please forgive my spelling!

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:29 AM
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lifeillustrated
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:40 AM

Wow!  Sounds like you have your hands full.  I would like to make a suggestion...works for some kids in my experience in the classroom and in my professional life...but, note that it does not work for everyone.  It may be worth a shot, though.  Set up a system with the teacher in that she sends a little note home at the end of each day about your son's behavior and cooperation that day...opening what she says for interpretation by you as to whether it was a good day for him or a bad one (since everyone's perception is different).  It you agree that his behavior was unacceptable on that day, you institute a reward system, instead of the current punishment as you mentioned with the taking away of TV and toys.  Think of something he absolutely would do anything for...something he loves, and if he has a "good" day, make sure he get that reward (remember that it does not have to be something extraordinary, just something he loves and will work for).  In addition to that, and if the teacher is willing, have her establish a reward system for him in class, as well...like a sticker for every good day and at week's end, he would get something special (our Kindergarten teachers always had treasure boxes in the classroom with trivial crap in them that kids ABSOLUTELY love!!)  Anyway, my point being that in my experience, personally and professionally, kids respond more favorably to rewards than punishment...but justly EARNED rewards.  Give it a try and good luck!!

HTMommy
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:42 AM
Sounds like my kid, except my teacher was great and dealt with it. As far as him rolling his eyes, its disrespectful yes, but does he do it with an attitude or does he need a vision correction? Does he do it with you at home also being a smart ass?
Consistency is key, but you also need to give him time to adjust to the newness of it all. New people new schedule new people telling him what to do. You should sit down with the teacher and be on the same disciplinary page with her regarding your son. And you have to follow through. If the teacher knows something will happen at home bc he's bad in class she can put that in her arsenal of in class threats to prompt him to behave and if not send a note to you letting you know that she was telling you.
Our teacher last year was great, we spoke through email almost daily and worked together to try and make class a meaningful part of the day. He was out of his element and not in control of the situation and didn't like it so he was at times defiant and risky. But most of the time he was fine but when he was off he was REALLY off.
Talk to the teacher and talk to your son. Tell him what is expected of him from you and his teacher and talk to him find out if there is a reason he is behaving badly. (As far as the slide, he a friggin kid! If he can't go down the slide correctly he's banned from the slide, simple as that) but tell him what's expected from A-Z don't assume he knows. Then if he's bad in class unless it was horrible, its really pointless to discipline at home bc kids don't remember that long ago. You can remind him. And figure out another means of fixing. The teacher really needs to figure out how to handle it on the school front since that's where its happening. Take away recess, or the special class. Here, everyday thy have the rotating class, art, music, gym, computers. If he was bad he lost the ability to participate in one of those things.
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