I am dating a guy with a 7 year old son. We are pretty serious and I have an active part in Keggan (the 7 year olds) daily life. His father and I are affectionate in front of him becauswe we think it's healthy for him to see a happy ocmmitted couple, but sometimes he wants to imiatate his dad. For example, the other day he asked to kiss me on the lips. I told him my lips were reserved for Daddy. He is free to kiss on the cheek etc.
His mom isnt in his daily life, and so he's also become curious about my body. He'll smack my butt, or try to coyly touch my boob. I've told him not to and he knowshes not supposed to, but Im not sure how to reinforce it firmly without making him feel like he's being bad. any ideas on how to approach this topic?
You approach the topic to his father. His father is the one to tell him "hands off" his father is the one who should be teaching him that one doesn't treat any woman like that. This isn't just "curiosity" this is something the child has seen and is imitating...Either from his father or someone who is around the child or something the child is allowed to view via the media
I agree with Coey and get his dad on board as well. He needs to hear it from daddy that he doesn't need to touch you in such a manner. As well as he needs to be taught boundaries and personal space. Being 7, he should start to already know that. Trust me when I say, you don't want him trying to do these things at school. Depending on how they handle situations like that, it can be as simple as a meeting with the parties involved or go as far as him being under megans law and being put on the list and registered sex offender. I am not trying to scare you in any way, but I have seen it done, my legal teacher had to represent a 10 yr old who hugged and kissed a girl (a peck on the cheek not imitating something more) and now he has to register as a sex offender for at least the next 15 years. Explain to him now how that is not appropriate behaviour and when it IS appropriate. I understand you want to show him a healthy commited relationship, but maybe just tone it down some so he isn't trying to imitate as much.
Hey sparkling daisy,
I think for a seven year old this is curiosity on his part. I went through the same thing with my boyfriends son who was the same age. He also wanted to kiss me, so I let him, then when I realized the kind of kiss it was I said: hey that was a little inappropriate. He asked what I ment by that, and I told him it made me feel uncomfortable. So for now on I get my kisses from you on the cheek.
He also for a bit was smaking my butt, I just kept correcting him, and ask that he stop, and that I did not like what he was doing. He had seen his dad do it lots of times. I told him it was not a game, and that I did not like what he was doing, he did stop doing that.
I also explained what an appropriate touch is. What is accepted, and what is not, what makes a person feel comfortable, and what does not. And also let him know that if someone touches him inappropriately he is to tell me or someone else that he knows well. He has stoped smaking my butt, and his kisses are on the cheek.
I also explained that there are some things that only dads, and moms are suppose to do.
I think boys are curious and learning, and you are doing the right thing.
J.B.
Quoting janet912:Hey sparkling daisy,
I think for a seven year old this is curiosity on his part. I went through the same thing with my boyfriends son who was the same age. He also wanted to kiss me, so I let him, then when I realized the kind of kiss it was I said: hey that was a little inappropriate. He asked what I ment by that, and I told him it made me feel uncomfortable. So for now on I get my kisses from you on the cheek.
He also for a bit was smaking my butt, I just kept correcting him, and ask that he stop, and that I did not like what he was doing. He had seen his dad do it lots of times. I told him it was not a game, and that I did not like what he was doing, he did stop doing that.
I also explained what an appropriate touch is. What is accepted, and what is not, what makes a person feel comfortable, and what does not. And also let him know that if someone touches him inappropriately he is to tell me or someone else that he knows well. He has stoped smaking my butt, and his kisses are on the cheek.
I also explained that there are some things that only dads, and moms are suppose to do.
I think boys are curious and learning, and you are doing the right thing.
J.B.
I don't think it is her place to "correct" the boy. He has a father and his father should be correcting him, his father should be telling him "You don't treat a woman that way" period. If it were my son he wouldn't be slapping women on the butt like that for long.
thank you for the replies! If it happenns again I'll deffinitely approach it with his Dad. He has told Keegan it's inappropriate, I think maybe we just need to be more firm on it!
Sparkling Daisy,
Yes it takes two, both the mom and dad to correct the child.Sometimes in situations there is only one parent to hand out the disclipine. Hopefully knowing any male figure can jump in, and have a little chat with the child. In some situations there is only the mother that is involved.
Janet912
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- sparklingdaisy
on Feb. 15, 2012 at 10:26 AM