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The Park Bench The Park Bench

Have u had Marriage counseling?

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Did it help? Thinking of doing it but don't want it to dig up dirt and hurt each other anymore than we have.

by on Apr. 11, 2012 at 10:20 AM
Replies (11-20):
MBorati-Collins
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 9:41 PM
Since we got back from our honeymoon, once a week. As an only child coming from the worst marriage that ever existed, I used it as precaution. It only did us good.
mhmomma
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 9:43 PM
Nope

Hope things workout
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kaitybird
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 10:45 PM
1 mom liked this

I have been while married previously.  It isn't about the digging up the dirt.  It is about getting to the root of the issues that you are having.  You have to learn how to communicate effectively. You  both are going to have to listen and really hear what the other is saying.  Learn to talk about it all.  Bringing up the past and dirt gets you no where but hurt.  The past is the past and you have to move on and forward.  Hope everything works out for you!


mrssmitley1210
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 12:23 AM

No. I want to but my husband had bad depression in the past and saw someone for it and he will never go again. Last year was a very bad year for us and with having a baby during the time I ended up with depression 

psych_mom
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 4:34 PM

This exactly! You also have to be willing to try more than one counselor if the first one isn't a good fit. There are those out there that are biased and will take the side of one spouse or the other.

Quoting HTMommy:

The point is not to dig up dirt and hurt eachother, the point is to learn how to communicate effectively and fix what may be broken. Marriage counseling doesn't work for everyone and you BOTH have to be willing to open up to eachother and LISTEN. If you BOTH aren't willing to try and fix it, then it makes it alot harder. Marriage is for better and for worse and takes a shit-ton of work. Sometimes its hard to see beyond the bad right in front of you, but with forgiveness and communication, I think it can help alot of people. Granted there are certain things that draw the line like abuse and stuff like that, but overall, no marraige is perfect perfect 100% of the time.


Charizma77
by Carissa on Apr. 14, 2012 at 4:46 PM
We haven't.
rosebud727
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 4:50 PM

No we haven't, I've been married almost 27 years and yes, it a good marriage with lots of communication.

CoeyG
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 4:54 PM

All the counseling in the world doesn't work if one or both of the parties don't want to be married.  I wouldn't go to mediation because I no longer wanted to be married to him.  I just had no love for him and I had no desire to spend the rest of my life with him.  

earthangel1967
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 5:03 PM

1. Not with my husband I have now that I have been with for 9 years we dont need it. If we did we would go, this relationship is worth it.

2. With my ex I was with 16 yrs and shouldnt have been with at ALL EVER... when I told him I wanted a divorce he wanted to go to marriage counseling but I explained to him as nicely as you can say such a difficult thing that I didnt want to bc I wasnt in love with him and didnt want to work on the marriage and it would just drag out the inevitable and give him the false notion that there might be hope when there wasn't.

3. I know people who went to MARRIAGE ENCOUNTER WEEKENDS they are christian based BUT you do NOT have to be christians to go and everyone who went said it was VERY VERY helpful and brought them closer (even couples who already had good marriages said it enriched their relationships) and that there are fun parts and romance and its very unique and its only one weekend. It MIGHT even do more than months of regular counseling, I would suggest looking it up in your area and its fairly affordable too. I know for a fact that its healing not something that makes things worse. I know quite a few people who couldnt talk highly enough about it. They told me secret special things (romantic sweet fun things) that happen at the weekends that they arent actually supposed to tell other poeple so it doesnt ruin their special surprises for the couples but I am not going to tell for the same reason, but I can say I was VERY impressed, I wouldnt mind even going with my husband even though we have a great marriage just for a special romantic enriching time. : D good luck HUGS

YVONNE

MariDB
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 9:56 PM

we went to a marriage retreat paid for by the military called Strong Bonds and it talks about communications and how to be an active listener. In addition the gave us two awesome books: the five love languages by Gary Chapman and Fighting for your Marriage by Markman, Stanley and Blumberg

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