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The Park Bench The Park Bench

I'm a little frustrated by my friend and I'm not sure if I should be-PIOG

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So I met my friend through a depression and bipolar support group. The thing is that she also has aspergers along with the bipolar. I don't know too much about aspergers other than that it is a form of autism. She is very high functioning and has even told me on several different occasions that she is aware when her aspergers is "showing". In my honest opinion, if you are aware of something then you should be able to control it a bit more than she seems to do but like I said I don't know much about the disorder. I get frustrated with her bc she is always doing her own thing and whenever she asks me to hang out with her and I can, I do, even if that means hanging out in gay/lesbian clubs when I am totally straight. I wouldn't mind so much if every time I have a suggestion on what we do, she declines my offers and goes and does her own thing. Is that part of the asperger's or is it just that she is an artist and a free spirit? I don't want to be upset with her over something she can't control but like I said she is totally aware of as she puts it "my asperger's is showing." I would love to hear from some of you ladies who have experience with loved ones who either have asperger's or autism, bc I am kind of at a loss right now.

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:36 AM
Replies (11-17):
VintageWife
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 4:10 PM

My husband has Asperger's.

CoeyG
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 4:15 PM

I love my friends for who they are and I tend to overlook their "flaws"

bellawomen
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 4:16 PM
Being aware of your behavior and able to control it are completely different and come from different parts of the brain. That's like says because you realize you have bipolar or depression you should be able to fix it. It just doesn't work that way :(

I have a friend who has Asperger's and is very social, depending on the environment. He gets along really well with girls but not with guys. It also creates problems for him because he wants a girlfriend and doesn't have the ability to differentiate emotions to get close to someone.
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dizzy77702
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 6:54 PM
The thing that frustrates me is that I've never once used the fact that I have bipolar disorder to excuse my bad behavior which she seems to do all the time. I don't believe in using a disorder or condition as an excuse to say and do whatever you want. The world doesn't work that way. Sorry if you ladies disagree but it's time she acted like an adult and took some responsibility instead of blaming everything on her aspergers. It's ridiculous.
TheJerseyGirl
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:21 PM

 People with Aspergers are geniuses  and are well aware of themsleves being eccentric in most cases

mom22tumblebugs
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:52 PM


Quoting dizzy77702:

The thing that frustrates me is that I've never once used the fact that I have bipolar disorder to excuse my bad behavior which she seems to do all the time. I don't believe in using a disorder or condition as an excuse to say and do whatever you want. The world doesn't work that way. Sorry if you ladies disagree but it's time she acted like an adult and took some responsibility instead of blaming everything on her aspergers. It's ridiculous.

Comparing bipolar with aspergers is like comparing apples to pineapples.

EpicMom1981
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:08 PM

I'm far from an expert.. but I do have a dear friend with asperger's.. and he acts very similar. He's a normal-ish guy, holds down a decent job, but his social life is limited to a small group of old dear friends who love him and accept that he's a huge pain in the a--. ;) He does what he does, he has a lower-than-normal awareness of how other people will respond to what he does. In many instances, he is seemingly incapable of understanding how the things that he says and does will impact others. And even though he often really really really REALLY seems like he's just a jerk... I'm sure that its beyond his control. He knows when he's being weird and rude, but it's who he is. To stay friends with him, I have to have very different expectations of him than I would of anyone else. 

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