Elle from This Is Mommyhood tells it like it is. She is a mom after our own hearts in that way. She will make you laugh (her child is a "hummingbird on crack" -- who doesn't relate to that?) and make you cry, and above all, she will tell the truth.
We at The Stir love and admire that and we think you will, too. Here is Elle's Mother's Day guest post:
I was told of things that would happen after I had a baby, but in a vague way, and of course I didn't think some of this stuff would happen to me. Yes, you're right. I'm a dumbass.
Screw what to expect. Expect the unexpected.
No matter what anyone tells you will happen after you have a baby, including me, it might not happen to you. You just never know what to expect with a baby. Your cute little squishy babe grows so fast and changes so much that it can be hard to keep up.
There were so many things I had planned on once my daughter was born and, with most of the things, I've gone the other way.
Being a parent is harder than I thought it would be. There are times when my little girl will be throwing a tantrum, and just when I think Calgon, take me away, she'll all of a sudden do something so cute that it makes my heart melt. But other times I can be counting down the minutes until my hubby gets home so I can hand her off to him and I can have a breather.
- Lack of bladder control: I used to think only women who gave birth vaginally had problems with bladder control. Silly me. I pee myself when I cough, sneeze, laugh, and breathe although it's not all the time. Sometimes I'll think I'm safe after I sneeze and then I'm thinking ha ha bladder, I won this round, but it gets back at me a few minutes later.
- There will be blood: And look! More blood, and more, and more. I thought how awesome it was that I didn't have my period for several months but don't be fooled. Not only do you get all of the periods you've missed at the same time, you get more for good measure. I was bleeding for weeks and had to wear diaper sized pads.
- The first postpartum poo: I wasn't able to experience a vaginal birth since I had an emergency c-section but three days later, I felt what it was like to give birth ... out of my ass. Oh My Gawd! I was given stool softeners and took them but didn't think it would be that bad. There was a hand rail by the toilet in my hospital room and I thought it was there for help getting up. Nope. That hand rail is there so you can hold on for dear life while you have the poo that has come from the depths of hell.
- Just breathe: As much as we wanted to bring our daughter home from the NICU, it was also terrifying. We were the ones responsible for this tiny person. I remember the first or second night after she came home. The swaddling blankets we got weren't even capable of wrapping up a chipmunk and our little girl was only about 8 pounds at the time. So my hubby went out to find bigger blankets and it was the first time I was alone with my daughter. While my husband was gone, I gave her a bottle and everything was smooth sailing at that point. Then she threw up all over me and the couch. She also had a diaper blowout. There were tears on my part because I felt like I wasn't doing anything right. Then I kept telling myself that my daughter doesn't know I'm not doing everything perfect and I became more calm-ish. Don't get me wrong, I still sent frantic texts to my husband to hurry the hell up.
- Pregnancy weight and recovery: You might see women who've just had a baby a week before, jogging around the neighborhood, but it's fine if you're thinking hell to the no, and of course if you've had a c-section, you have to wait anyway. Recovery is different for everyone as is weight loss. Enjoy your crying, poopy, pukey, will not sleep for more than a few hours at a time, what the hell?! I'm going to die of sleep deprivation, baby. Yay!
- Postpartum feelings: I thought everything would be like a diaper commercial. All smiley and happy. It's not. Unless you're a robot but robots can't have babies. I don't think. There wasn't any doubt that I loved my little girl and I had waited so long to have her. But the hormones were swirling around, here was this new little person in our lives, and my hubby and I were beyond exhausted. There were times, especially in the early months, when I would think, What did I get myself into? or This wasn't exactly what I was expecting. I would hear people with newborns saying how it's such an amazing time and everything's great and so easy. I would end up feeling like an awful new mom because I didn't always think it was rainbows and butterflies.
Last but not least ...
You will freak out about every little thing and that's normal. There will be times when you're not freaking out and then you'll freak out for not freaking out.
What were your big surprises?