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The Park Bench The Park Bench

My bf said I don't love him and never have...UPDATE he got a job....

Posted by on May. 7, 2012 at 11:17 PM
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My bf told me I don't love him and never have all because I am pissed at him. He is in school half way across the country and has only been around our daughter for a week at Christmas. I wasn't pissed he went back to school he deserved the chance to finish just like I do. Mind you he almost got kicked out and is barely passing, with no responsibilities other than school. I am making A B honor roll and hardly ever miss class and I have to take care of OUR daughter. All he keeps talking about is that he wants me and dd at his graduation in June and how much he misses us. I don't want to go because it is a 25 hour car ride, but because I love him and he wants our dd to be there I am going. Tonight I found out that after he graduates he is going home with a buddy for 2 weeks then coming home. But he also said if he finds a job out there he is staying. He wonders why I am pissed off and says I have never really loved him. I have every right to be PISSED.....He is delaying coming home to be with his daughter 2 more weeks so that he can go hang out with his buddy in his(the buddies) hometown. And if he finds work he won't be coming home at all... I knew I would be doing all this until June by myself but he needs to come home after he graduates. He needs to decide right now he can either be there for his daughter or I can raise her alone. The choice is his I just hope he things really hard about the decision he wants to make. Because I refuse to let him walk in and out of her life and hurt her.

I CAN AND WILL RAISE THIS BABY BY MYSELF I DON'T NEED A MAN WHO DOESN'T WANT TO BE THERE TO HELP ME TAKE CARE OF MY DAUGHTER....

UPDATE:

My bf text me earlier and told me he got a job 30 minutes away from where we live and he can start as soon as he graduates in June. Now while this sounds great I am still extremely skeptical about the whole thing. Yes he will be able to be here for our daughter and commute to work but I'm still not entirely sure he wants to be here for her. All and all I am still expecting the worse and I'm prepared for that. I am going to hope for the best and just see where the future takes us. All I know is that I was 100% serious when I said I can and will raise dd by myself if I have to. O and I had mentioned my grades, the finals have come in I made 3 A's and 2 B's. I know that really has nothing to do with this post I am just really excited I did so well.

love you sign



by on May. 7, 2012 at 11:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mommy2annaliese
by on May. 7, 2012 at 11:28 PM
1 mom liked this

Sounds like, its really you and DD he doesn't love, and is passing the blame off on you so he can break up without feeling shitty.

the old, i cant do it, so ill piss you off so you will do it trick.

He seriously isn't a man, or mature in the least. Sounds like he got a taste of both lifestyles and picked the non child one.

otherwise he would never consider going home with a friend for two weeks far away when he has barely ever seen his kid.

mommy2annaliese
by on May. 7, 2012 at 11:30 PM

Honestly, tell him right now he can choose to be there all the time, or never at all.

its PAIN that your daughter will suffer through having a dad there sometimes and then not at all for a long time, and then sometimes again, and it isnt fair when it could easily be avoided.

You should never hear 'Mommy why doesn't daddy live with us, does he not love me?" " why doesn't daddy want to see me"

ive heard both from my BFF's daughter, her dad did the exact same thing.

tell him to step up, or fuck off.

jessiesgirl88
by on May. 7, 2012 at 11:36 PM
i dont blame you at all for being mad that is so immature i cant believe he would rather go stay with a friend and possibly stay permanantly than come home to be with you and your dd that you have together you didnt make her by your self he needs to man up and come homr i would tell him either you come home after graduation or i will raise our daughter alone that is so rediculous he is doing this to you hope you figure things out good luck
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nicolekcoy
by on May. 7, 2012 at 11:37 PM
1 mom liked this
I've told him he has until his graduation to figure it out. I want him to be here for his daughter, but I DONT need him.

Quoting mommy2annaliese:

Honestly, tell him right now he can choose to be there all the time, or never at all.

its PAIN that your daughter will suffer through having a dad there sometimes and then not at all for a long time, and then sometimes again, and it isnt fair when it could easily be avoided.

You should never hear 'Mommy why doesn't daddy live with us, does he not love me?" " why doesn't daddy want to see me"

ive heard both from my BFF's daughter, her dad did the exact same thing.

tell him to step up, or fuck off.

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mommy2annaliese
by on May. 7, 2012 at 11:40 PM
1 mom liked this

YOU GO GIRL!

i am so PROUD of you for standing up for your daughter instead of being selfish, most women are so afraid of being single and a lone they never stand up for themselves or the babies.

You go!

i hope he chooses the right path. His future is with his daughter, not some bs small job somewhere he has one friend.

Quoting nicolekcoy:

I've told him he has until his graduation to figure it out. I want him to be here for his daughter, but I DONT need him.

Quoting mommy2annaliese:

Honestly, tell him right now he can choose to be there all the time, or never at all.

its PAIN that your daughter will suffer through having a dad there sometimes and then not at all for a long time, and then sometimes again, and it isnt fair when it could easily be avoided.

You should never hear 'Mommy why doesn't daddy live with us, does he not love me?" " why doesn't daddy want to see me"

ive heard both from my BFF's daughter, her dad did the exact same thing.

tell him to step up, or fuck off.


LucyHarper
by on May. 8, 2012 at 12:18 AM

Tell him that you do love him, which is why he needs to come home. Tell him his friend can come visit at your house, but after college, his place is with his family. Tell him that moving out there is a decision that you guys need to make together since it will be a family move, you would have to come out there after you are done with school, you are not a single parent and there will be no you live on one place and he lives in another kind of thing. 

CoeyG
by on May. 8, 2012 at 3:28 AM

Obviously you chose to make a baby with a boy, not a man. Blaming him now for it isn't going to make him grow up any faster.  You should have gotten to know him better before you chose to have sex with him, and realized he was too immature to begin with.  This is what happens when you become sexually active too soon into the relationship.  You don't really get ot know the other person and wind up surprised and hurt when you find out the other person isn't who you wanted them to be.  Tigers don't change their stripes.  He doesn't want to grow up right now.  All you can do now is either try to stick it out with him and stop expecting him to grow up and hope that eventually he does or you can walk away now, file for child support and raise your daughter on your own.  Hopefully you have leanred from this mistake and don't repeat it in the future.  Get to know someone thouroughly before you choose to have sex with them because you could wind up being tied to them for a very long time.  

betsystipo
by on May. 8, 2012 at 6:43 AM
I agree that it's him that probabally doesn't love you and is just trying to break up making you feel bad. Honestly I doubt I'd spend the time or money to go to his graduation.
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nicolekcoy
by on May. 8, 2012 at 6:59 AM
Ive known him for almost ten years.
He wasnt like this before he went out to school. He knows I'm not waiting around forever. I told him he has until his graduation to figure it out. I will raise her alone. If rather raise her alone then with someone who doesnt wasn't to be there and will ultimately hurt her.


Quoting CoeyG:

Obviously you chose to make a baby with a boy, not a man. Blaming him now for it isn't going to make him grow up any faster.  You should have gotten to know him better before you chose to have sex with him, and realized he was too immature to begin with.  This is what happens when you become sexually active too soon into the relationship.  You don't really get ot know the other person and wind up surprised and hurt when you find out the other person isn't who you wanted them to be.  Tigers don't change their stripes.  He doesn't want to grow up right now.  All you can do now is either try to stick it out with him and stop expecting him to grow up and hope that eventually he does or you can walk away now, file for child support and raise your daughter on your own.  Hopefully you have leanred from this mistake and don't repeat it in the future.  Get to know someone thouroughly before you choose to have sex with them because you could wind up being tied to them for a very long time.  

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EireLass
by Silver Member on May. 8, 2012 at 8:56 AM

Sounds like it's time to visit an attorney who can direct you in sole guardianship, and future child support.

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