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The Park Bench The Park Bench

I need advice!!! Please Help!

Posted by on May. 12, 2012 at 1:31 PM
  • 12 Replies

confusedI recently moved two states away to help my sister take care of my father who has Parkinsons Disease! Unfortanately my dad has declined so much to be taken care of at home. In fact he is dieing!!  My sister said I could stay here for house cleaning but I am afraid that I may not live up to her standards, thus getting angry and kicking me out. She is the only family member I have left that is not dieing. I am suppose to be going back to school on the 29th of this month for six weeks to be a CNA! I may be worry ing for nothing because she says she is glad that I am here because she was always worried about me and my son. Question1:So should I try to go back to my home state to avoid be at the mercy of her temper or trust that she follow through with her word? I feel horrible for feeling this way because she has been pretty nice to me since I have been here for the most part. We use to fight so much that we fought in our sleep. (True story) Do I keep these fears to myself and do my best to help her. Bare in mind I my son is much happier here and I like it here. Plus I have nowhere to go! The only family member I have back home is my brother who is dieing of cancer.

Ok question 2: My son was doing very poor at his old school. He even tried to run away from school one day! Since he has been here for two months he actually has started to read where as he was not reading at all at his old school. He is way behind still and will fail the second grade.  I dont know how to break this news to him!! With all that has been going on he has serious anger issues. I am looking for a therapist for us both.  So how do break this news to him? Maybe I am just having a moment of weakness but if could get some support here I would love that!!

by on May. 12, 2012 at 1:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
4flowers4ever
by on May. 12, 2012 at 2:10 PM
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I'm sorry about your father and brother. I'm mobile so kind of hard for me to go back and forth to answer your questions. But by what I understand you and your son are better of there with your sis. If you are afraid you may not be up to her standards then talk to her. Ask her what she expects and try to work it out together. Communication goes a long way. I wish you the best.
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capefearmom
by on May. 12, 2012 at 2:29 PM

Thanks I think that is the best thing to do! I guess I am just freaking out!

Charli627
by on May. 12, 2012 at 4:23 PM
Agree with first poster. Sorry about your dad
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sunshyne86
by on May. 12, 2012 at 4:32 PM
Sorry about your dad and brother... I agree with pp... I'm guessing you were younger when you all faught all the time... maybe just stay with her but be trying to maybe get your own place even if you have to get assistance... ESP if it is benefitting your Ds... as for breaking the news to him I would just tell him that because his old school did not help him and teach him the things he needs to know he gets a do over and will be in the 2nd grade again so that he can catch up on all the things he missed out on at that school. Just remind him that it's not a punishment and that he didn't do anything wrong and that this school will help him so that he will learn the things he needs to know.
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CoeyG
by on May. 12, 2012 at 7:04 PM

Has it occured to you to sit down and have a "heart to heart" with your sister?  If you two can't communicate how the hell can you live together?  As for your , are you prepared for him to lose the momentum he has in this school by going back?  If he is doing well why would you want to pull him out of where is is doing well and set him bck literally?  

Lindalou907
by on May. 12, 2012 at 8:09 PM

Are you already in the middle of the CNA program? Or,can you finish it here? That would be my only concern,other than that I would stay and try to get your own place as soon as possible,I think your son would be better served by staying put,and just keep talking with your sis,and share your fears. Counseling for you and your son is a GREAT idea. You need to get a job too mama,so you can save for your own place,best of luck,and keep us posted!

earthangel1967
by on May. 12, 2012 at 9:47 PM
1 mom liked this

im sorry hugs awwww I am so sorry for all you are going through and for losing loved ones so dear to you. It is understandable you are feeling anxious, this is a stressful time you are going through and you have alot  on your plate, I think feeling some anxiety is normal. I agree with the others that you and your son sound like you are doing much better where you are now ... be sure to show your sister appreicattion for how nice she has been to you and you will be more likely to continue to see more of the same, people like getting positive attention and appreication. : ) YOu can gently let her know you are eager to please her and are open to suggestions of how you can best do that if you'd like. Let her know how pleased you are with how much better you and son are doing too. This can be a beginning of a new healthy relationship and friendship w sister, I know the past was bad, but people can change and things can be better. ITry to take one day at a time and just do your best with what you have each day and if in the future things take a turn for the worse that you can't over come then I would reconsider moving ONLY then. Right now you sound better off where you are but only you know what is best for you and your son.

Good luck HUGS

YVONNE

TheJerseyGirl
by on May. 13, 2012 at 5:52 AM

 You need to talk to your sister and tells her your fears for you and your son.  Your son needs stability and shouldnt have to stress over family fights or where he's going to live. Just do your best to get along with her and do what's needed ! Im really sorry to hear about your dad and brother.

bhow
by on May. 13, 2012 at 9:40 AM

I am sorry to hear about all the illness.  It sounds to me like perhaps you need to give things more time.  If she acts up try to stay calm and take the high road but, be assertive enough to stand your ground without yelling.  Calm voices get us further.  If your boy is doing good in school and seems happy?  I think that's a no brainer.  Same goes for you.  Moving all that distance in such a short period of time might prove fateful for both of you.  I would try to stay put for now.  Good Luck.

VintageWife
by on May. 13, 2012 at 11:08 AM

If everything is better there for you and your son, it seems the best place to be.

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