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BF or FF, NOT about which is best, but a question

Posted by on Jun. 7, 2012 at 9:18 AM
  • 12 Replies

 I heard an article on the radio the other day about mother's not being 'accepted' because by breastfeeding they are doing the best for their child.

This got me thinking.  While I know breast milk is better, but what about those of us who formula feed?  I did for several reasons.  First, my milk did not come in enough to feed my babies. Second, I needed life saving medication that may be addictive to a baby(the ones better for them were not best for me), and me being in their lives was more important to me(go ahead call me selfish because 'I' wanted to be in their lives).  Lastly my second spent some time in the  NICU.  Even though I pumped for him, it was not enough and they had to supplement with formula.  He never had breast and would not drink from it.  BTW, he never liked a pacifier.

Why do those of us who, for whatever reason, choose to formula feed get looked down upon and told we are not 'good enough' mothers and are abusing our children.  

Why can't mothers choose to bf or ff without being hounded because of our choice?

Please no DRAMA.

by on Jun. 7, 2012 at 9:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mhmomma
by on Jun. 7, 2012 at 9:28 AM
Sadly this is drama. There are certain topics that get people hot under the collar. I try to avoid them at all cost. We as parents need to not worry about what the other parents are doing. You need to do what's best for your family. I tried to breastfeed it didn't workout. Yes I wish it workout but it didn't. My kids are super healthy kids. In fact, my kids have been healthier then most breastfed babies I know. We as parents need to learn that there is a way to educate other parents without being an ass. Parents don't want another parent to shove it in their face that you might be wrong. It's like car seats, diapers, birthing. Parents that don't do what you do need to step back and think about the way to approach instead of attacking. Just my thoughts on this. Sorry to ramble
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HTMommy
by on Jun. 7, 2012 at 9:29 AM

Personally I think its just from certain types of people. Ones who are negative about everything. I did both for my oldest, he literally sucked my dry I couldn't produce anymore passed 4 months so he got formula, my second was breastfed the ENTIRE first year woud not eat food or take a bottle or pacifier, just me. My third did straight brest until about 6 months then combo bc my supply was going down then straight formula the last few months of his 1st yr.

Alot of people that have issues with how a mom feeds her kids either don't HAVE kids themselves or got it so beaten into their heads that one way is best because thats what they did or didn't do that thats all they think is correct so therefor try to force it on everyone else they see feeding their baby in a form they did or didn't do.

You'll always have people that think their way is the only way and make you feel crappy for doing something else. To them I say eff off, my kids, my life, my choice. Opinions are great thats why we all have them, but they are each our own.

I think there is more feeding hate from fellow moms than there is from anyone else and thats the worst part, but I think its also who we surround ourselves with. We need to pick and choose the people that are around us wisely because if they aren't supportive of our decisions as moms, than its not condusive to a healthy nurturing environment. How in the world can someone provide a healthy nurturing environment for their child(ren) when they are being hounded for their choices?

Charizma77
by Carissa on Jun. 7, 2012 at 10:03 AM
1 mom liked this
I don't look down on anyone who formula feed, I myself was ( formula fed that is ). But, I am passionate about breastfeeding my babies and will gladly help a mom out if she wants advice. I am not a debater but I will give wanted advice. I have seen some rude comments on here about breastfeeding toddlers or breastfeeding in public, I chose to ignore them. Formula feeding moms should do the same, ignore the rude comments. They are always going to exist but how you handle them makes all the difference, in my opinion.
diamond02
by on Jun. 7, 2012 at 11:10 AM

breast feeding is the best way for a lady to bond woth the child and also the best nutrist is proved for them froam the mother. if it wasn't gud then the nursing staff wouldn't advice u to do itkiss mini

Mommy2Nia
by on Jun. 7, 2012 at 3:49 PM
It is a personal decision. I tried breastfeeding for about 6 months. However, I was working and going to school and did not like to pump. Plus it kind of weirded me out to have my breastmilk in three different households. I admire those women that breastfeed longer. I also respect mothers who prefer formula. It is simply one of those choices that is completely based on personal preference. I hate that there is so much controversy surrounding nipples: real vs faux! The main concern should be the end result, healthy babies.
selene_odin
by on Jun. 7, 2012 at 4:05 PM

It's insecurity plain and simple. People who toss around judgement like that are in constant need of validation that they are the best, their way is the only way. The bottom line is that most of us do the best we can as parents and we all want what's best for our children. Since there is no 100% foolproof "right" way, don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Guaranteed they're NOT perfect!

nova.mommy
by Member on Jun. 7, 2012 at 4:19 PM

I do ignore them.  

But I guess what I am getting at here is how can some pro-breast feeders ask to have breast feeding accepted when they don't accept those that need/choose to formula feed?  I see it as wanting a double standard.  

I know that breast feeding is not as accepted in the US as it is in the rest of the world, but don't condemn me because I formula feed(I am not talking about you personally, but SOME others do).  JMO.

Quoting Charizma77:

I don't look down on anyone who formula feed, I myself was ( formula fed that is ). But, I am passionate about breastfeeding my babies and will gladly help a mom out if she wants advice. I am not a debater but I will give wanted advice. I have seen some rude comments on here about breastfeeding toddlers or breastfeeding in public, I chose to ignore them. Formula feeding moms should do the same, ignore the rude comments. They are always going to exist but how you handle them makes all the difference, in my opinion.


snuggiewoogie
by on Jun. 7, 2012 at 4:47 PM

 It is none of anyone's business how I chose to feed my baby.......... I made a good decision about what I chose to do........

CoeyG
by on Jun. 7, 2012 at 7:44 PM

I didn't worry about who may look down on me because I formula fed my daughter.  I believe in Pro Choice and that includes the entire body not just the uterus.  I chose not to breastfeed, they were/are my boobs I get to decide what happens to them. 

erikadi
by Member on Jun. 8, 2012 at 6:51 PM

I don't know I think it is part of the Mommy Wars. Breast Feeding vs Formula Feeding. Stay At  Home vs Working Outside the Home. I don't think either way is better as long as our children are happy and healthy. It is whatever works for us and our families that is the most important thing. My way might not work for one family, but it might work for another. The fact is we are all Moms we all work very hard regardless of what we do so lets encourage each other. We are in this together and our children are the future. Lets work together to raise happy, healthy, well adjusted children.

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