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The Park Bench The Park Bench

I need advice...... I don't know how it handle this..... Please no trashing and bashing....

Posted by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 8:12 AM
  • 35 Replies

 My daughter has been friends with another little girl. They were in school together last year. This little girl can be manipultive at times and bossy to Jenna. For the most part there friendship seemed alright. My daughter was gonna have her 1st sleep over at her house this Saturday night. Everything was set!

Well last night the girls were talking on the phone. The little girl 's birthday is apparently coming up in July and she invited Jenna to go to Six Flags and spend the day swimming. Now keep in mind this is not the 1st time this has come up Jenna has been invited all week long. My response to Jenna was I will let you go but I will have to go with you and keep an eye on you because Jenna can't swim very well and needs more swimming lessons. So Jenna puts the little girl on the phone I tell her Jenna can go with them but I would have to tag along. It's the way it is and Six Flags wants kids to be with an adult if they can't swim.  It's there rules.

Anyway Jenna is back on the phone with the girl and 5 minutes later she comes up to me crying and says She forgot she already invited another friends "A real friend" who can go swimming with her. Then they go back to talking and I picked up the phone to hear what in the world was going on. She was basically was saying that Jenna was not good enough to go cause she does not swim well. Then the girl was bad mouthing me saying I was the one who made my own daughter upset.

Well at that my husband has heard Jenna crying hurt upset and we decided that it would not be a good idea with the way things were going to let them have the sleepover this weekend.So I told Jenna she would have to cancel this. My husband tells Jenna this girl is not your friend she was playing you like a violin. She found out you could not swim very well and decided to invite someone else. My child is so hurt and upset by the whole thing and now she blames us her parents for not letting her go to the sleepover. We did not feel good about it since the way all this went down. Basically we would like this friendship between these too to end.

What do you do when your child is hurting like this?? Did we handle this well?? I have no idea... This is the 1st bump in the road. I have been up most of the night crying. I hate how mean and cruel kids can be to each other. I know it's part of life. There will be many things that hurts. This is just her 1st lesson on how cruel life can be.

So this is so long..... I just wanted to vent and see what you all think.....

sad

 

by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 8:12 AM
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Replies (1-10):
suetoo
by Member on Jun. 15, 2012 at 8:59 AM
I think it would have been best to politely thank her for the invite but say, no she isn't able to go this time. Then take your child to swimming lessons.
LivinDeadGurl
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 2:04 PM
3 moms liked this

I would honestly talk to the parents of this child about her inviting people to things and then changing her mind five minutes later. Maybe they could talk to her about it and explain to her how it is cruel.

The rest I would let them work out on their own. It's hard for a parent to watch when their child is hurting, but children need to learn how to work out their own problems. Let her decide what she wants to do next, and support her in it.

MrsImperfect
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 2:10 PM
2 moms liked this
This is only the beginning of a long line of things like this happening. Its best to let her handle her friend. You should of spoken with the parents nit the child. And no one wants a parent tagging along so she may be made fun if now. Should if just said no not until she can swim better and left it at that instead of getting involved in the conversation. Girls are mean to each other lets not give them more of a reason to.
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amonkeymom
by Amy on Jun. 15, 2012 at 2:12 PM
1 mom liked this

This...

Quoting MrsImperfect:

This is only the beginning of a long line of things like this happening. Its best to let her handle her friend. You should of spoken with the parents nit the child. And no one wants a parent tagging along so she may be made fun if now. Should if just said no not until she can swim better and left it at that instead of getting involved in the conversation. Girls are mean to each other lets not give them more of a reason to.


CoeyG
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 4:27 PM
3 moms liked this

I would have spoken to the girls parents rather than the child.  I would have explained that my daughter wasn't an expierenced swimmer and that the park itself requires parental accompanyment and that if I wasn't allowed to go along then my daughter would have to decline the invitation...I would have done this in the very beginning of the 'planning' stages.  I'm sorry but I don't think it was handled well at all.  You let a child be in control of an adult situation.  

Charli627
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 6:03 PM


Quoting amonkeymom:

This...

Quoting MrsImperfect:

This is only the beginning of a long line of things like this happening. Its best to let her handle her friend. You should of spoken with the parents nit the child. And no one wants a parent tagging along so she may be made fun if now. Should if just said no not until she can swim better and left it at that instead of getting involved in the conversation. Girls are mean to each other lets not give them more of a reason to.


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Flaca43
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 6:42 PM
I think this woulda have been the best way to handle it. I'm sorry your daughter is hurt now. They are young, so maybe it will be all better by tomorrow. You know how kids can fight and then be best friends again.

Quoting CoeyG:

I would have spoken to the girls parents rather than the child.  I would have explained that my daughter wasn't an expierenced swimmer and that the park itself requires parental accompanyment and that if I wasn't allowed to go along then my daughter would have to decline the invitation...I would have done this in the very beginning of the 'planning' stages.  I'm sorry but I don't think it was handled well at all.  You let a child be in control of an adult situation.  

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snuggiewoogie
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 7:26 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting CoeyG:

I would have spoken to the girls parents rather than the child.  I would have explained that my daughter wasn't an expierenced swimmer and that the park itself requires parental accompanyment and that if I wasn't allowed to go along then my daughter would have to decline the invitation...I would have done this in the very beginning of the 'planning' stages.  I'm sorry but I don't think it was handled well at all.  You let a child be in control of an adult situation.  

 I agree It was not handled well. I have tried to keep calm today and think about all of this in a different light. Life is never easy and things like this are gonna happen. I am new at this and it crushed me to see my daughter hurt and crying her eyes out. I am very sensitive  and when your child is hurting so badly I wish I could have taken away the pain. Next time I will make sure that plans are for sure. I'm glad I have good support and sometimes when you ask for advice about something it's not always what you wanna here. But I am learning as go along there's gonna be alot of girls and situation that arise. I've just gotta try to make the right decisions on how I handle things in the future.....

4theroses
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 7:43 PM


 

Quoting CoeyG:

I would have spoken to the girls parents rather than the child.  I would have explained that my daughter wasn't an expierenced swimmer and that the park itself requires parental accompanyment and that if I wasn't allowed to go along then my daughter would have to decline the invitation...I would have done this in the very beginning of the 'planning' stages.  I'm sorry but I don't think it was handled well at all.  You let a child be in control of an adult situation.  


Kris_PBG
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 9:50 PM
1 mom liked this

I think the problem is too much power given to little girls.

Parents should be making these arrangements, not 6 year olds. 

Hopefully this all blows over - it is horrible to see our kids feelings hurt!

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