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The Park Bench The Park Bench

Empty & Sad

Posted by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 4:06 PM
  • 46 Replies

Well ladies my husband of 22 years has left me for our son's girlfriend. The affair has been going on for a year now....it's really some Jerry Springer crap!!!  He has left me with no income whatsoever!!! Where do I start life over....I'm so sad!!!

by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 4:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
amonkeymom
by Amy on Jun. 23, 2012 at 4:37 PM

Wow, I'm so sorry.  hugs

Charli627
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 5:07 PM

im sorry omg i am so sorry! hugs

 

 

Bleacheddecay
by Bronze Member on Jun. 23, 2012 at 6:18 PM
1 mom liked this

Im so sorry. *hugs* Start with the best, meanest lawyer you can get.

LivinDeadGurl
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Starting a new job next month! So excited!
Wednesday at 11:56 PM
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 6:58 PM

Ouch! I am sorry hon.

brittanyjenean
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 7:13 PM
1 mom liked this

Well, you've been married for twenty-two years.  He cheated on you with your son's girlfriend who is how old?  So that means you can get alimony because you have grown accustomed to a particular lifestyle.  In the end, during the divorce, you will not be left empty-handed as he voluntarily committed adultery and left due to said adultery. 

victorianmom55
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 7:34 PM

im sorryYou have been given some wonderful advise.... It is hard to start over, especially if you haven't worked in along time.  

Shari, wife to John 4/88, mom to Heather 1/77,Nyssa 4/89, Michaela 8/94

CoeyG
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 8:54 PM

First of all contact a lawyer.  Most give free first time consultations.  One thing I can suggest is go for spousal support.  It is not automatically given these days but you can ask for it temporarily until you get on your feet, usually about 6 months.  If you are able to work (Meaning healthy) you should look for a job if you're not working because while you may get temporary spousal support you may not get it indefinately.  You might also want to ask about health insurance, see if you can get him to maintain whatever he has on you for at least a year, until you can find your own.  If you have a car that he makes payments on, again see if he can continue for at least a year as well as ask for him to either pay off the car, continue making the payments or selling the car and giving you half the proceeds so you can find yourself a car.   While a lot of people will tell you "don't give up your house" you need to weigh the pros and cons of that.  How much room are you really going to need?  Do you have small children, or are you kids grown and either out of the house or will be in the not to distant future?  You may want to downsize, you can ask him to buy you out of the house or if he doesn't want it you both can sell it and take half the proceeds, with that you can reinvest in a smaller home, one that would accomodate visits with your kids but still be small enough for just you.  By downsizing you wouldn't have the heating/cooling costs of a larger home and that will lower your budget.  I speak from expierence...been there done that...

CoeyG
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 8:58 PM


Quoting brittanyjenean:

Well, you've been married for twenty-two years.  He cheated on you with your son's girlfriend who is how old?  So that means you can get alimony because you have grown accustomed to a particular lifestyle.  In the end, during the divorce, you will not be left empty-handed as he voluntarily committed adultery and left due to said adultery. 

Alimony is not a given these days. It doesn't matter that she has "grown accoustimed" to a type of lifestyle.  If she is healthy and able to do so, she will most likely be told to get a job if she doesn't already have one.  Shey may be given temporary spousal support and she can ask for/contiunal support at a lesser amount but it won't be much unless she has small children.  After 22 years I would surmise her kids are mostly teens and she will be awarded child support for any under 18.  "Adultery" is no longer a grounds for divorce unless it is coupled with emotional or physical abuse, and then it comes under the heading of "cruelty".  

CoeyG
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 9:00 PM

Also OP if you have children under 18, you are entitled to child support.  Try to get it until they are 21 or if they plan on going on to college make sure that thieir father has to pay for it as well as pay child support until they earn their degree (My ex paid child support undil aughter was 21 and her college costs until she was 24)

brittanyjenean
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 9:05 PM

I'm going off what has happened to my mother.  She received alimony from her ex husband after they divorced because she was a stay at home mom and my youngest brother has autism and epilepsy so that made it difficult for her to work.  And in the US, adultery is still grounds for divorce.

Quoting CoeyG:


Quoting brittanyjenean:

Well, you've been married for twenty-two years.  He cheated on you with your son's girlfriend who is how old?  So that means you can get alimony because you have grown accustomed to a particular lifestyle.  In the end, during the divorce, you will not be left empty-handed as he voluntarily committed adultery and left due to said adultery. 

Alimony is not a given these days. It doesn't matter that she has "grown accoustimed" to a type of lifestyle.  If she is healthy and able to do so, she will most likely be told to get a job if she doesn't already have one.  Shey may be given temporary spousal support and she can ask for/contiunal support at a lesser amount but it won't be much unless she has small children.  After 22 years I would surmise her kids are mostly teens and she will be awarded child support for any under 18.  "Adultery" is no longer a grounds for divorce unless it is coupled with emotional or physical abuse, and then it comes under the heading of "cruelty".  


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